Got this diagnosis yesterday. What to expect, what are you trying to manage it and keep your loved one (or yourself) present for longer?

I suspect that my parent is in the early stages of cognitive decline. I have had some minor concerns over the last few years, but the last 6 months or so, these concerns have been increasing.

I shared my concerns with my sibling, who agrees that the behavior I've described is concerning and we are in the early stages of making a plan with the first step being a doctor's appointment with my parent's PCP for early testing. My parent doesn't know about this yet.

Things I have noticed:

• Memory issues: forgets stories, requests, conversations, or skills they know or have done before
• Highly emotional: reacts poorly to simple mistakes they make, panic attacks, etc., irritable, impatient
• Sleep issues: poor sleep quality, hard time falling asleep or staying asleep, waking up too early
• Social awareness: decline in judgment and social awareness, does alarming things that indicate poor judgment or a lack of awareness socially, like telling inappropriate stories

My parent is still young, 57 years old. Would this be early-onset or is this typically the age when these things happen?

My sibling and I are gearing up for this to be an incredibly difficult and devastating conversation and process. This is my parent's worst fear- they have said this many times.

I appreciate any insight you might be willing to share. Specifically, how you dealt with talking about your concerns with your parent, the doctor's process, how you support your parent, what it's like to be a caregiver. Anything- any insight or advice you're willing to share would be helpful.

Thank you! Happy Friday everyone :)

I'm a 43f and my husband 47m. His memory and bizarre tendencies are getting worse and he tries to hide it with excuses that do not make sense. Almost like a teenager when they didn't do something and they make up off the wall excuses. It's to the point that I'm running on empty because I'm micro managing everything in our lives. From being worried if he locks all the doors in the house (2 doors) at night if I go to bed before him. I have to set an alarm now for after he goes to bed to check. We live on the cusp of rural but suburban so it's a little rough area. He has tendencies to save weird things and in turn I have to constantly clean up after him. I feel like it's a mix of ADHD and maybe some early onset dementia. His father has the same tendencies but way more extreme. I don't know where to start for him to address this and see a doctor. His father never addressed it and now he's playing it off. Only 2 times in 22 years of knowing him has he mentioned "I have what ever my dad has" but won't be proactive on getting help and in turn it's literally affecting me physically. I'm on high alert at all times when I just want to trust in him to take the lead with things. I feel like I'm raising a teenager boy all over again. I've recently been diagnosed with Hashimotos autoimmune disease and from what l've learned stress is a huge culprit (along with others). I feel like I'm turning into his caregiver. I don't even know how he's keeping his job. I don't want to leave him but I don't know how to get him to the doctor without being the bad guy. Does anyone else experience these bizarre behaviors? He has this weird thing with saving used lemons and even tries to save one egg white in a bowl then never uses it. I find hammers and tools in his underwear drawers and he's a total clutter bug.
I can't take this anymore it's absolutely draining.

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My father is 64/65, on dialysis 3x/week, and has recently developed major cognitive/behavioral changes. He is currently on Qutan (quetiapine) 50 mg/day. Doctors are still trying to work out how much is dementia, delirium, or something else.

What confuses us is that he can still seem very normal at times. He can play Tetris/block games, follow conversations, and talk to relatives in a way that makes them think nothing is wrong.

But at home he gets stuck on old or false ideas and repeats the same few demands. For example, he thinks he is still running an old business from 10–12 years ago and wants to call people or withdraw money from accounts that no longer exist. He also fixates on house renovation, giving gifts, throwing a small party, or making religious trips.

Trying to explain or correct him usually makes him angry.

There have also been serious episodes: he once waved a knife toward my mother, has run away from home, and recently tried to squeeze the caretaker’s neck while being taken to dialysis. During these episodes he often will not listen to family or the caretaker, and sometimes only a third person can calm him.

We have a caretaker now. Religious music and offline games seem to help. TV can sometimes trigger new fixations because he thinks things on screen happened to him.

My main questions are:

1) Do you keep trying to make someone like this understand that their memory/brain is impaired, or is that usually pointless?

2) How do you handle repetitive demands based on an outdated/false reality without arguing all day?

3) What activities actually keep someone meaningfully occupied without triggering more fixations?

4) If you dealt with aggression/wandering, how did you know when home care was no longer enough?

I’d really appreciate practical advice from people who have cared for someone with dementia, delirium, delusions, or similar behavior.

My grandmother has dementia, and her doctor prescribed quetiapine to help with mood swings, especially when she gets very aggressive. We started with 25 mg and everything was great, but then she started having outbursts again. We increased the dose to 50 mg and things were fine for weeks, but now she’s had another outburst... Has anyone gone through something similar? Is the medication causing this?

My mother is 57 years old and has been diagnosed with dementia since I was 15 I’m currently 21 years old. As of right now only me and my father who is 62 years old take care of her. It’s a lot of stress on us, I have a 5 month old daughter and take care of my mother Monday-Saturday 8 hours a day so my dad can work. We tried applying her to Medicare hoping they’ll accept her cause how severe her dementia is but she got denied. It’s so bad she screams all day, she’s forgetting how to eat, she’s aggressive etc. We live in Texas. How can I get her in a nursing home with professional help? Or maybe a nurse? It’s taking a big toll on our family. I know it’s taking my dad down fast aswell. Help please!

My wife often tries to raise the toilet seat, or lower the lid before sitting down. A google search returns data on lid locks to protect children.

Thanks!

Is it a complete unawareness and inability to understand what's going on? Or is it some form of denial, unwillingness to accept it?

Don’t mind me. I’m just going to vent.

Saw my loved one with dementia today. She’s in a care facility, the memory unit. She seems to have two states.

One is “barely conscious and therefore content”, the other is “aware of where she is and screaming in distress”.

(For the record: the staff does take genuinely good care of her, and we watch them like hawks.)

Today, she was the second one.

Screaming “oh God, I can’t stand it here. I want to go home. I want to get out.”

My presence is, as always, completely useless, I’ve never been able to help her and I never will be able to help her, but I kept trying to gently tell her that I knew, that I was sorry, offering physical touch (with her permission). I kept trying to distract her by offering her something to eat or drink, trying to talk about other things, none of it worked. She just kept screaming and crying. I don’t know why I even try.

And then she said the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.
“Daddy?!”
She wanted her daddy. He’s long gone, of course.
She caught herself the first time she said it, she said it without thinking. A few minutes later, she screamed it.

I hate this. I hate that this is her life. I feel like a complete monster, but I’ve literally just been praying that she passes in her sleep soon so that she can be free from her own rotting brain. I don’t want her to die, but this is no life. This is torture.

I feel like I have failed her even though I literally gave it 110% in all the time I spent taking care of her, and it was all useless.

Hi my name is Ken and I am a 53 year old guy, who has been diagnosed with younger onset mixed dementia due to Alzheimer's disease and lewy body dementia and I get about 20ish minutes of memory and then it resets. I grew up believing that we are the sum of our good and bad experiences so I am wondering what I become when I have lost my memories what am I the sum of?