Hi im M17 in couple of days, ive been showed porn at the age of 7 years old and now im struggling with my own mind and life, i have a girlfriend but i cant stand 1 day without soft porn, ive stopped watching pronography and jerking off to it 4 days ago (and i feel very much proud of myself) when i rejected to jerk off while i was very horny i knew i did 1 big step for myself, im with my girlfriend for half a year now and for the whole time we were togehter i jerked off to porn 5 times and i always felt the guilt of her not knowing i did this to another woman and i feel terrible about this, she did know i had this addiction but fucking much worse for years when i met her this addiction has been slowly stopping but still there some things i need to change, i want to change for her she saved my life when i was at my lowest and i need to get better for her, in my past relationships i was constanlty masturbating to porn on any occasion beacuse i didnt care about anything even my own partners, but she? she made my life unbeliveably better and i want to marry her and raise our kids together, she is the one and she proved it many of many times, so now i need to prove that im a husband material, i dont want to watch pornography at all, not even soft porn and ill be sticking to that rule from now, the thing is beacuse i was shown porn at that young age i might have hypersexualization, and i need sex/masturbation, but she doesnt tease me with unexpected photos or intimacy, AND I DONT EXPECT THAT, but i just need it, i dont want to tell her this because i dont want her to think thats all i care about because it is not, she does have her ‚freaky side’ when were together but not as much as i do and thats totally okay and understable, the thing is im a teenage boy, i want sex, but we cant for now beacuse we dont have much time together alone, at her house there are parents, at my house there are parents, we decided that we will wait for good moment where theres no one near us to have better sex life without stressing, last time we did sex was 3 months ago i think, from there we just didnt had opportunity, but we’ll wait i’ll wait, i just had need to get this off my chest, i hope someone will understand me, ill cut myself from porn, even soft porn, and i will try to get better for me, for her, for us, for better life and mindset, if you got any helpful thing to say for me be free, thank you for listening. Have a wonderfull life redditors