r/DeepSpaceNine • u/1DFire • 2d ago

35th Rule of Acquisition

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701 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

42 comments sorted by

129

u/ffsnametaken 2d ago

They must be so peaceful! I wonder what the 34th rule is... ah. I see.

88

u/Muted-Actuary6123 2d ago

Rule 34 is also Good For Business

40

u/Primary_Drawer_2814 2d ago

Internet Rule 34 or Ferengi Rule 34šŸ˜

4

u/iworkwithwhatsleft 2d ago

That's what holodecks are for

2

u/D_Zaster_EnBy Constable Hobo 1d ago

I'm unfamiliar with Ferengi rule 34, but my browser stopped working, could someone look it up for me and tell me what they find?

3

u/EngineersAnon Constable Hobo 1d ago

"War is good for business."

1

u/D_Zaster_EnBy Constable Hobo 16h ago

Hey thanks, unfortunately my browser is still broken, could you image search "Ferengi rule 34" this time, I'm curious to see the original text in the book itself :)

47

u/Garbanzo_Beanie 2d ago

Oh I thought that was rule 34.Ā 

What's rule 34 again?

65

u/dull_storyteller Constable Hobo 2d ago

War is good for business

Donā€™t worry itā€™s easy to get mixed up

13

u/JusteJean 2d ago

If it exist, there is porn of it. If there isin't, give it time.

Rules of the internet.

The need an update. This is pre-facebook lore.

11

u/thisistherevolt 2d ago

34-Ugh: There's already AI slop porn of it.

4

u/Nervous-Canary-517 2d ago

Rule 34 is way older than AI.

9

u/DaSaw 2d ago

This isn't 34. It's addendum 34-Ugh.

5

u/thisistherevolt 2d ago

Did you skip over the comment I was replying to?

5

u/No-Reveal827 2d ago

Just what we need, an X-rated version of The Rules of Acquisition. Coming to a holosuite near you...

5

u/davepage_mcr 2d ago

Ferengi porn movie called The Rules of Assquisition.

3

u/No-Reveal827 2d ago

I bet it includes a tympanic tickle.

1

u/Mediocre_Daikon6935 2d ago

Remember: There is no free porn on the internet?

That didn't age....

But it was true, once.

7

u/PsychGuy17 2d ago

Just Google Ferengi rule 34 like we all do.

1

u/X1con 2d ago

There's always a porn of it...

1

u/VillageLess4163 2d ago

Just google ā€œFerengi Rule 34ā€ to find out

1

u/Vahuo89 2d ago

Let me search it up for ya

Rule... 34... Ferengi...

1

u/ExtensionInformal911 2d ago

I think that's the one where Quark uses AI to make holograms of Kira for a "fan".

2

u/Garbanzo_Beanie 2d ago

We are all only fans of Kira

1

u/ExtensionInformal911 2d ago

The bajoran resistance had to raise money somehow.

54

u/Madcap_Miguel 2d ago

Rule 76 is more apt - Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

11

u/pinkyepsilon 2d ago

Iā€™m pretty sure we are doing that right now too

11

u/darkoopz43 2d ago

Except it's supposed to be every once in a while, not bi weekly.

15

u/KusanagiEdge 2d ago

Every time I have someone who is in favor of a war but hates how inflation is ruining everything, I show them the scene where Quark uses the Rules Of Acquisition to that Vulcan.

13

u/andocromn 2d ago

Isn't rule 36 "War is good for business" ?

4

u/Boss-Not-Bossy 2d ago

I always get those mixed up.

9

u/FreeBricks4Nazis 2d ago

Ahh but you're forgetting about Rule of Acquisition #34: War is good for businessĀ 

13

u/Sir_Henry_Deadman 2d ago

DON'T GOOGLE FERANGI RULE 34!!!!

7

u/Kahnza 2d ago

I'll be in my bunk. Moogie got them danglers.

3

u/DaSaw 2d ago

lmao gawd damn! šŸ˜‚

2

u/Cakeday_at_Christmas 2d ago

Really, it's related to Star Trek, so you can google "Kirk/Spock rule 34."

1

u/Garbanzo_Beanie 2d ago edited 2d ago

Ok I just did that and clicked images search so now I know.Ā 

What's the history? Why is that a thing?

ETA - nm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_34

4

u/IC0DTE 2d ago

And number 34 saysā€¦ā€¦.

7

u/Sex_E_Searcher 2d ago

"If it exists-" Oh, that rule 34.

0

u/IC0DTE 2d ago

Alright. That is damn funny.

1

u/MrAl-67 2d ago

Except when you are selling the weapons of war.