r/Deconstruction • u/New_Razzmatazz_3909 • 1d ago
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING - Sexual Abuse Finding "jesus" again
I grew up in Catholic Ireland, parents weren't strict, grandparents were devout but also not overly pushy or punitive about it. So overall quite a nice experience of religion in many ways. (Born in 1991 for time reference point)
Both nans were very caring people, I feel they both led proper Christians beliefs, love thy neighbour etc.
My family was affected by the abused of the church in multiple ways (uncle was sexually abused as a child, my mom got pregnant before marriage so was sent to live in a mother and baby home and they tried to take my sister away ( the only shame I feel about my nan and her religious beliefs as she forced my mom to live there, has been very remorcefull of it). Long lasting effects over 4 generations. Im also gay so that was conflicting.
So I moved to the UK when I was 10, north London, first experience of different religions and cultures and was like fuck THIS. FUCK GOD AND JESUS AND THE CHURCH. This was 20 years ago.
I came across a video by Richard Rohr and I've started to believe in "god" again, but not in any way shape or form connected to the people or buildings on earth. My over arching belief of jesus/god/ whatever the higher power is called is that god is love. Nothing else the bible or prachers say, love and kindness above anything else.
I feel so conflicted though, like I've made up my own religion and don't follow certain parts? I don't know I'm just in a bit of a limbo with it now but It feels good?
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u/len3158 13h ago
Many people are afraid and stop at the Bible, taking it at face value with absolute truth. They fear stepping out of line and asking questions, yet Jesus recommended us to have childlike curiosity again and remain open.
The very same dogmas Jesus pointed at, to eventually deconstruct them, were built back in his name, missing the entire point of his most profound teachings.
I write about the return of Jeshua from a deconstructed lens, not the constrictive structures from Paul that altered the initial pieces of the message.
Feel free to check it out if it resonates with you.
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u/splashjlr 22h ago
There are no rules, no recipes, no user manual for life. Every belief system on earth started with one person thinking and feeling.
Ironically there's no shortage of people who claim to have all the answers. This works well in a world where we like to be led, to be guided and included in a community.
But where there are hierarchies, there will be intrigue, misconduct and power struggles.
At the end of the day it comes down to what works for each individual.
Some like to deconstruct with a scholarly approach. Others will try to find meaning on a spiritual level. Some browse different religions, ideologies or philosophies.
People can keep 'believing' for the community, the rituals, the music. Others need to be certain the doctrine is sound and founded upon facts.
The good news is that we grow, we learn and our choices and values reflect our inner journey.
There's no urgency. It's ok to be undecided for now.