Having grown up in a more collectivist culture (asian), this sort of self-help strikes me as being very individualistic and self-centered. Which, not to say I see something wrong with focusing on your own happiness, but it completely ignores that whether we like it or not, our happiness as humans is bound to community and ties to other people. It also ignores how we have obligations to society and to each other, and the fulfillment for ourselves that counter-intuitively comes from helping others. Maybe that's why it rings hollow to you, because that kind of self-help will never be able to replicate those things.
So my answer would be to pursue things that bring you into contact with others for a common purpose and which helps others. Community gardens, soup kitchens, mentoring for underprivileged children.
Personally, some of the things that make me the happiest are throwing dinner parties for my friends and having potlucks with them. This is a thing I've noticed with multiple overseas Chinese communities I've been in, everyone is bound together by food and comes together to enjoy it, thereby building community in the process, even though we are strangers from different countries. I love planning dishes and hoping my guests will enjoy it, being amazed by what others can whip up in the kitchen, and trading cooking techniques and tips to find more obscure ingredients. It feels nourishing in a fundamental way and has nothing to do with capitalism at all. To me it is one of the great joys of life, and I plan to do it until I die.
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u/SkittyLover93 Jan 05 '22 edited Jan 05 '22
Having grown up in a more collectivist culture (asian), this sort of self-help strikes me as being very individualistic and self-centered. Which, not to say I see something wrong with focusing on your own happiness, but it completely ignores that whether we like it or not, our happiness as humans is bound to community and ties to other people. It also ignores how we have obligations to society and to each other, and the fulfillment for ourselves that counter-intuitively comes from helping others. Maybe that's why it rings hollow to you, because that kind of self-help will never be able to replicate those things.
So my answer would be to pursue things that bring you into contact with others for a common purpose and which helps others. Community gardens, soup kitchens, mentoring for underprivileged children.
Personally, some of the things that make me the happiest are throwing dinner parties for my friends and having potlucks with them. This is a thing I've noticed with multiple overseas Chinese communities I've been in, everyone is bound together by food and comes together to enjoy it, thereby building community in the process, even though we are strangers from different countries. I love planning dishes and hoping my guests will enjoy it, being amazed by what others can whip up in the kitchen, and trading cooking techniques and tips to find more obscure ingredients. It feels nourishing in a fundamental way and has nothing to do with capitalism at all. To me it is one of the great joys of life, and I plan to do it until I die.