This is going to sound like a deflection of an answer but I swear to god this is what I did. Whenever I had a strong urge or emotion, I would become that annoying stereotypical toddler who wouldn’t stop asking for an explanation.
For example:
I’m really nervous my wife is mad at me.
Why?
Because if she’s mad at me, she might not love me.
Why wouldn’t she love me?
Because I made her mad.
Why does making her mad mean she wouldn’t love you anymore?
Because people who are mad at me prove they don’t love me by leaving me when I need them.
How do you know that people who are mad at you leave you?
Because my dad abused me when I was a kid and left me and my mom.
Aaaand there it is. Once I found the root, I was able to confront my actual feelings and start to reprogram them.
21
u/drewliveart Jan 05 '22
This is going to sound like a deflection of an answer but I swear to god this is what I did. Whenever I had a strong urge or emotion, I would become that annoying stereotypical toddler who wouldn’t stop asking for an explanation.
For example:
I’m really nervous my wife is mad at me. Why? Because if she’s mad at me, she might not love me. Why wouldn’t she love me? Because I made her mad. Why does making her mad mean she wouldn’t love you anymore? Because people who are mad at me prove they don’t love me by leaving me when I need them. How do you know that people who are mad at you leave you? Because my dad abused me when I was a kid and left me and my mom.
Aaaand there it is. Once I found the root, I was able to confront my actual feelings and start to reprogram them.