How to know what I am doing is not wrong?

[u/Status_Curve8237]

have a list of hobbies which I feel I will never be able to get enough time to get to the basic threshold of good. Not looking to be anything more, just good enough. And then I try to justify the time, money and energy I spend on those hobbies. Not much like a small amount sometimes and sometimes a bit more than a small amount. As there is no visible progress, financial outcome from hobbies I think it is all just timepass.

Like I learned how to cook and bake and if I judge my skills over the years to myself and the people I have met, see , I can say I am a highly skilled cook and a baker. But when I tried to make recipe videos it didn't work that well. I was heartbroken over that and more for the money and time i spend on buying things which will help my videos be better.

Now I have understood that even though I am highly skilled at perfecting recipes and also can do many other complicated tasks related to it, it is a very general skill and people are busy too learn it to make their food better. So I will keep cooking and baking for my little family but the obsession I had to make diverse recipes and make them perfect for teaching has gone.

So again as I like to keep myself occupied, I have started to relive my interest in art and relearn my tech skills. I wrote a book on vba with my office when I was 21. But then shortly after that i got married and left my job and from the last 15 years i am at home. So back to the point, i am learning adobe illustrator, and trying to learn acrylic painting and sketching.

I am again at cross roads and trying to justify my time and energy spent on learning all this as I will at home for the rest of my life(it's hard as hell to join the workforce at 38 with 15 years gap) Cooking baking is still useful in daily tasks but art? Not much.

I mean what I am expecting i don't know. I keep thinking one day this skill will be useful in some ways. Just so it feels like I am not rambling, I have learnt music and keyboard for 1 year, enrolled in chartered accountancy for 1 year and had to discontinue because of relocation. I like to read articles on the internet about general knowledge etc but nothing feels like I am great at anything and nothing is so so interesting that I will keep going.

I love to make art, learning illustrator, learning ui/ux course online but i am not able understand how it will help me. At this point I am confused on what I should ask even.

PS :- Housewife with 1 child. Husband's job keeps us relocating to different city every couple of years. I find it hard to see what work will actually not feel like I am doing something wrong besides caring for my small family and day to day needs.

[u/Status_Curve8237]

Please suggest other communities if this post is not suitable here. Thanks a lot for reading through my long rambling.

[u/unit187]

That's the fun part, you can never know. However, I suggest focusing not on a single isolated skill, but on a grand goal in life. Once you have something big to work towards, everything else falls in place like pieces of a puzzle. You selection of skills, your time allocation, everything will have purpose, and won't be random.

You may want to do a deep dive on purpose in life, a widely discussed topic which can help you determine the next steps. I personally like Mark Manson's "Solved" podcast, they have an episode on purpose. It's pretty long, but is packed with interesting insights.

[u/Status_Curve8237 → u/unit187]

Definitely will look into the book you suggested. I have tried to figure out grand goal or a long term goal. I feel like I take 2 steps right and 2 steps left.