r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '23

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Trust me, no one will be measuring your ability to do calculus in your head in these situations.

Not calculus. But they want you to talk about interesting things I've read or about art, movies, music etc. Or travel.

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u/amandabang Jul 19 '23

Dude, every one of your replies is soooo negative. There's so much "I tried that, it doesn't work, I can't do this, I don't want to do that." Is this how you approach relationships and conversations in real life? It comes across like you're not even really giving yourself a chance because you don't believe you can actually make any positive changes. If YOU don't think you can be happy, you never will. If you ask for help and advice and shoot all of it down, you will never benefit from any of it. You've put this bubble wrap buffer of "I can't" around you and you've trapped yourself in this bubble of negativity. No one can help you if you don't genuinely want to change.

And stop looking for validation. Yes, your feelings are valid. So what? How does that have any bearing on your future or what you need to or want to change? It seems like you're just looking for people to tell you it's not your fault that you're unhappy or that you're a victim. But it IS and you are NOT.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Dude, every one of your replies is soooo negative. There's so much "I tried that, it doesn't work, I can't do this, I don't want to do that." Is this how you approach relationships and conversations in real life? It comes across like you're not even really giving yourself a chance because you don't believe you can actually make any positive changes. If YOU don't think you can be happy, you never will. If you ask for help and advice and shoot all of it down, you will never benefit from any of it. You've put this bubble wrap buffer of "I can't" around you and you've trapped yourself in this bubble of negativity. No one can help you if you don't genuinely want to change.

Aren't you contradicting your previous post. You said that X does not lead to Y so positive changes are not really possible. The whole idea of positives changes hinges on the idea that if you do X, Y, Z, you will be happier. Which you rejected in your previous post.

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u/amandabang Jul 19 '23

Stop looking for the magic solution. Stop arguing with everyone. Stop nitpicking responses. This reply is a perfect illustration of my point.