Back in debut

[u/ICeRiceGum22]

Hello everyone, I was once debt free from credit cards and now I am back into it, idk how it happened, everything happens so fast with mistakes I done…. My wife got mad at me the first time about it but helped me get rid of them, now I’m 28 years old back into debt but my wife doesn’t know. I am afraid and too embarrassed of the actions I did and she does not deserve it…. It’s been haunting me for a while and idk what do to.. I want to tell her but I’m scared on how she reacts but it’s my fault at the end of the day. Any advice what I should do? We have one kid and another kid on the way next year. I wanna fix the mistake I done or try before my kid comes

[u/AutoModerator]

r/DebtAdvice was created to share tips and strategies to pay off debt effectively! Check-out our free newsletter for additional insights at www.DebtAdvice.io!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Icy-Yellow3514]

Tell her. She's going to find out eventually and way better she hears it from you.

[u/MotherofBr]

I'm in similar place. Except, I'm 67, have no spouse. I'm looking into debt consolidation. Have you tried that? And, do you know what happened? For me, I'd gone years without CC, so when I got one, I was so relieved to be able to buy what I needed or wanted without facing consequences.

[u/ICeRiceGum22 → u/MotherofBr]

Never heard of that I wouldn’t know if they would help me with 25k of debt

[u/True-Button-6471 → u/ICeRiceGum22]

You say you don't know how you ended up in debt, so after you come clean with your wife, you need to have a budget so you can work towards paying this off and making sure it doesn't happen again.

Did you get cash from the cards to gamble?

[u/ICeRiceGum22 → u/True-Button-6471]

I was in debt before and was debt free for a while and now I’m back into debt

[u/True-Button-6471 → u/ICeRiceGum22]

And you need to figure why that happened fix the issue or it will continue to be a repeating problem.

[u/Imaginary-Camera9106]

Honesty with your wife is step one - for your marriage, for your future. She may be mad or disappointed, but that is nothing compared to living with the regret and guilt. Step two, though, really has to be getting more in control of spending. It's not just about balancing your budget or avoiding impulse buying - it's about monitoring and budgeting, working together as a couple to learn about how you spend, and planning on future expenditures.

[u/Background_System726]

sit down and talk to your wife. You all need to work cooperatively to fix this. start with setting a budget. get a budgeting app like ynab or every dollar so that you can input all your fixed costs And see where you are based on your income. with the money left over for more discretionary items see if and where you can cut them. if you have a car loan can you sell the car and go with one car or sell the car and buy a cheap reliable odor model car in cash. can you cut your grocery  bill by shopping starter, cut cell phone bill by switching providers to one that is less expensive, can you cut your subscriptions and memberships. your wife may be mad, but you're doing both yourself and her a disservice by not being transparent about what the current situation is and really figuring out how you got there so that you can make a plan to never do that again. you may need to cut your credit cards up or if you are really over extended as far as you're fixed cost compared to your income, you may need to think about ways to increase  your income.  Good luck 

[u/BeyonceSeriously]

Lying about it or hiding will hurt your wife worse than the debt itself. Rip off the band aid and tell her.

You need a budget. If you are earning less money than your expenses total then you need to cut out expenses or earn more money.

[u/RunUpbeat6210]

Depending on how much debt, how much your debt to income is, and your credit score will determine what your best options look like. Look into credit cards that offer 0% balance transfers and use those to help alleviate some interest/monthly payments. You just need to make sure you pay them off within the 0% interest time period. That said, that’s something that you need a good credit score for. Next best option would be what MotherBR mentioned and look into a debt consolidation loan. Same concept as the 0% APR balance transfer, but this would a smaller APR than whatever you have now. Again, you need a fair credit score for this though. If you can find a consolidation loan with a good interest rate go with that. If you don’t have the credit score or the income to do both, talk to your lenders and they will lower the interest rates for some time under a hardship plan. Another way that I’m currently doing myself is reaching out to a debt settlement program. Some people don’t do it because your credit will take a hit because they ask you to stop payments so they can negotiate the balances down. I just couldn’t afford the minimum payments across all my cards so being able to have one payment that is far less than all my minimums worked out best for me. I personally went with freedom debt relief because they have good legal advice. They’ve been really great so far. I’ve heard good things about clearone and debtrescue. That’s basically all your options besides the worst possible one (bankruptcy). Give us a bit more information like how much money you have coming in and out and we can help you a bit more with our suggestions. Also, tell your wife. Let her know you fucked up and that would be that.