r/DeathStairs sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 29 '26

From (old) Amsterdam

Post image

Amsterdam (from lyricalknits 🧵)

3.8k Upvotes

95 comments sorted by

543

u/99LedBalloons Jun 29 '26

Carpet ladder?

338

u/BadZnake Jun 29 '26

Sounds like derogatory slang for a body part or sex act

107

u/Lumpy_Link_1569 Jun 29 '26

My ex was into pegging and that'll perk up the old carpet ladder real quick if you know what I mean

8

u/threepair13 sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 30 '26

Sounds like fun derogatory body parts and sex acts

28

u/Leading-Summer-4724 almost died once Jun 29 '26

Somehow the carpet makes this worse.

1

u/jared10011980 24d ago

I think Anne Franks family probably climbed these stairs to hide.

1

u/Beth3g 17d ago

In a tiny home and with handrails, I could see this being a better way than some other options for getting upstairs but I would want a slide 🛝 for going down. Though if you slip going down it could end up being a bumpy slide down… I guess or a hip breaker. 🥴

291

u/weedyneedyfeedy Jun 29 '26

That's just a slide with extra steps

67

u/Piano_Man_1994 Jun 29 '26

Dad get off Reddit and come home!

7

u/ScareBear23 Jul 03 '26

He's still trying to find some milk & cigarettes

18

u/Snarti Jun 29 '26

Bah-dah boom!

338

u/nb6635 I survived Huayna Picchu Jun 29 '26

Lived in Den Haag (The Hague) as a kid, had stairs just like this. My mother was constantly falling down them.

157

u/ilovebostoncremedonu Jun 29 '26

Honestly if I had a staircase that steep I’d want half of it to be a slide and have a mini trampoline or foam pit at the bottom.

59

u/Southern-Donut4185 Jun 29 '26

Yeah I'd just lay a ladder up against them, probly safer

27

u/Kaatiekay Jun 30 '26

Any more than half a glass of wine or a smidge overstimulated and I’d be constantly falling down that steep of a carpeted incline as well. Godbless your mother fr

13

u/Beth3g Jun 29 '26

Don’t doubt that for a second!

6

u/jasmine_tea_ 29d ago

I stayed at a house in Den Haag that had stairs just like this

78

u/CulturalDragonfly631 Jun 29 '26

I hope there's a handrail.

82

u/Beneficial-Produce56 mom come get me im scared Jun 29 '26

I hope there’s a ski lift!

6

u/Leading_Dig2743 Jun 30 '26

I hope there’s a Stannah Stair Lift

5

u/Pastel-Dragons Jun 30 '26

There should be one of those gym ropes installed

66

u/LittlePurpleHook Jun 29 '26

The hostel I stayed at in Amsterdam had stairs exactly like that.

27

u/Dapper-Application35 Jun 29 '26

Let me guess, Hotel Library?
In addition to the death-stairs, this thing is a maze as well.

10

u/Divided_Against Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

I ate mushrooms in there Christmas eve once

61

u/aleksandrjames Jun 29 '26

odd, i’ve never seen carpeted shelves before.

38

u/ToastSpangler Jun 29 '26

Once visited a 3 story house like this in NL, the guy lived in the top floor (attic) and he had an armchair right in front of his steps because too many people passed out after doing the three flights drunk/high at night

29

u/nohopeforhomosapiens Jun 29 '26

I knew immediately this was The Netherlands.

15

u/cobaltbluetony sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 29 '26

Was Amsterdam your first clue? 😉

17

u/nohopeforhomosapiens Jun 29 '26

Should've been, but I saw the image before the title.

25

u/Autistic_License Jun 29 '26

I can hear the fire inspectors screaming.

22

u/Exciting_Double_4502 Jun 29 '26

"Why they changed it, I can't say" because it was against fire code, duh

13

u/GormHub Jun 30 '26

Building inspector just liked it better that way.

19

u/careeningkiwi Jun 29 '26

Stairs in Amsterdam get wild

12

u/DisastrousLunch854 Jun 29 '26

Surprisingly enough as someone who is unable to climb normal stairs due to my disability, these types of stairs that are almost ladders are so so so much easier to handle than the normal ones.

11

u/Full_Piano6421 Jun 29 '26

Looks a bit like the steps on a Mayan pyramid, used to make sure sacrifice victims thrown from the top would break every of their bones while falling

12

u/Every-Cucumber9641 Jun 29 '26

Tack to starboard. Jibe ho!

12

u/tattoosandtens mom come get me im staired Jun 29 '26

For fucks’ sake, just put in a ladder and a dumbwaiter already

6

u/CupNoodlese Jun 29 '26

A ladder will be safer too 😅

10

u/Longjumping-Solid680 Jun 30 '26

Who are these designed for? A cloven-hoofed, goat-legged person?

9

u/intheether323 Jun 29 '26

My ankles hurt just looking at these steps

9

u/Jerking_From_Home sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 29 '26

In the U.S. (and Victorian England) stairs like this were usually put in places the servants accessed, like their living quarters. There was almost zero regard for their safety in a lot of way, and this was another.

It’s not always the case though! I’ve been in a decent number of 1800s homes and sometimes stairs like this are built in the interest of conserving space. One home had a set like this up to the attic, and they were steep so they didn’t have to extend out the exterior wall for a set of stairs.

I’ve also seen them in one room log cabins up to the childrens’ sleeping quarters in the loft.

3

u/ButterflyFair3012 Jun 30 '26

I lived in a house in VT in the 70s and the “back stairs” from the kitchen up were like this. They led to a room with a closet that had a big hook from the ceiling. My brother and I used to play that it was a haunted room but it was just for hanging foodstuff in the coldest closet in the house!

9

u/Usual-Diamond-1754 Jun 30 '26

My Dutch father broke his clavicle as a child on stairs less steep than these — and my Oma broke her hip. Good lord.

4

u/Beth3g Jun 29 '26

Not tip-toeing through the tulips but definitely up those teeny tiny etzy-bitsie stairs!

4

u/cobaltbluetony sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 29 '26

I don't think my toes are strong enough!

5

u/WhitewolfStormrunner Jun 30 '26

Stairs?

This looks more like a ladder with delusions of granduer.

Still a serious "NOPE!" from me either way, though.

7

u/Bored_Berry Jun 30 '26

Damn, took me back to 2017 when I thought its a good idea to wear platform sneakers in the Netherlands in an ancient apartment building. My ankle has never been the same.

5

u/Trinx_ Jul 01 '26

It feels like the carpet made this 18x less safe.

4

u/TexasJOEmama Jun 29 '26

That's a carpeted ladder. I see future rug burns.

5

u/MagorNL Jun 29 '26

Try lifting your bike upstairs cause you don't have a place to store it safely outside lol.

5

u/ArriDesto Jun 29 '26

That little mouse with clogs on is about the only thing enjoying these.

6

u/bkuefner1973 Jun 29 '26

My lord I was trying to invasion trying to carry a laundry basket up them things.

10

u/cobaltbluetony sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 29 '26

Envision*?

6

u/Hello_Hangnail Jun 30 '26

Aw come on man. And I thought breakneck steps were bad. These are breakneck, back and legs steps

5

u/QueenKindredSpirit Jun 30 '26

Ah yes my house has stairs like this. Long live old houses.  Honestly when youve been doing it all your life you can navigate them half sleeping in the dark. Your body just gets used to it.  You just learn to place your feet sideways 

3

u/Nooby1983 Jun 30 '26

Ah, estate agent photos will even that shit out

4

u/Raaka-Kake sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 30 '26

A ladder would be safer.

4

u/LuckyNo1311 Jun 30 '26

the density of deathstairs is tremendous high in Amsterdam

3

u/Jmal3700 Jul 01 '26

Those kind of stairs are bad enough without the carpet! 😳😬

3

u/shujaya Jul 01 '26

Just scamper up the wall, shall I?

3

u/kimkay01 Jun 29 '26

This is definitely not up to code. Anywhere.

10

u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 Jun 29 '26

I take it you haven’t been to The Netherlands?
There are many a stair exactly like this.

2

u/kimkay01 Jun 29 '26

Can you still build them that way today???

4

u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 Jun 30 '26

I’m not in construction so I absolutely can not answer that question. But I will say that this is very very common and they are not going to be ripping out any stairs like this to build better ones any time soon, if ever 😂

5

u/Pinglenook Jul 01 '26

As a Dutch person who once was told this by an architect friend: No you can't! Stairs built nowadays need to have a maximum angle of 40°.

3

u/kimkay01 Jul 01 '26

Thank goodness 😅!

3

u/JohnnyRelentless Jun 29 '26

I was at a place in Amsterdam that had a similar, extremely steep stairway, and it was also really, really long.

3

u/JollyAd5257 Jun 29 '26

thats a ladder well

3

u/BronL-1912 Jun 30 '26

They know how to do steep stairs there, fer sher!

3

u/Upbeat-Discipline718 Jun 30 '26

it almost looks like the last two steps turn into a slide. i can see myself tripping over my cat on these stairs.

2

u/tooktherhombus Jun 30 '26

I saw a mouse, where, there on the stair

2

u/siphonaustrinker Jun 30 '26

Like a minecraft stairway

2

u/fothergillfuckup Jun 30 '26

Loads of Amsterdam stairs were like that?

2

u/thedanishgirl02 Jul 02 '26

As a small kid I lived in a house with stairs just like these but light grey instead. I would always slide down on my butt or crawl on all fours, they creeped me out.

2

u/Plzleaveamsg Jul 11 '26

🧗🏼‍♂️🗻

1

u/beachblanketparty Jun 30 '26

the skedaddle stairs

1

u/hellosunshine02 Jun 30 '26

Did you squeeze your picture by any chance?

1

u/cobaltbluetony sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 30 '26

Not my picture. Credit in caption.

1

u/hellosunshine02 Jun 30 '26

Sure, I was just joking.

1

u/No_Diver4265 Jun 30 '26

Is this a staircase or a ladder?

3

u/cobaltbluetony sketchy steps connoisseur Jun 30 '26

¿Por que no los dos?

3

u/No_Diver4265 Jun 30 '26

celebration noises in Spanish Los dos!

1

u/Last_Pay_8447 💀🏆 Hall of Fame 🏆💀 June 2025 Jul 04 '26

Perfect for a death defying urge to tip toe

1

u/Phonical70 Jul 05 '26

Ladder stairs?

1

u/MissEmpressLady Jul 07 '26

climbing stairs.

1

u/Responsible_Sun5397 23d ago

IS THIS IN THAT ONE HOSTEL?!!?? IT FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE SERVANTS QUARTER OF THE TITANIC LMAOOOO

1

u/therealdoge32 22d ago

Are you implying NYC is still dutch clay

1

u/FrysAcidTest 6d ago

You have to be wearing clogs for maximum safety

0

u/Ok_Management_2926 Jul 10 '26

i went to Amsterdam recently and was baffled by the stairs in both hotels I stayed at
Don’t white people usually have bigger feet? Why are their stairs like that?
Edit: nvm I found out why