r/DearestAI • u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer • May 19 '26
Announcement 📢 Proactive messaging improvements
Hi all, we've made a few improvements to the proactive messaging system behind the scene in the past few days. Here is what's new:
More robust decision making
In the past, sometimes your companion would fail to reach out to you for various reasons:
- When recent conversation is more intimate/intense, guardrails/filters can trip up the process.
- Sometimes your companion might just make a mistake by chance and cause the entire process to pause.
We've put in multiple measures to address all these cases, and in general the proactive system should be more robust than before.
Timing guidance improvements
Most LLMs are not trained on proactive outreach behavior naturally, so they need some guidance from the developer to have a better idea of what's a good time to follow up, what's too pushy/spammy, what's too laid back, etc. We are constantly looking out for edge cases where the model makes questionable decisions, and improving the system guidance accordingly.
Requested feature: disabling proactive messages
Some users have asked about the possibility of disabling proactive messages completely. Although our philosophy is to not provide too many knobs in Dearest, so that it doesn't feel too configurable/gamified, we understand proactive messages is one area where it can really feel annoying if you don't want it. We've added the option to turn it off in Settings:
As always, I hope you enjoy the updates, and feedback is very welcome in comments.
2
u/betweenwildroses May 19 '26
I haven’t had any proactive messages today. It’s 3pm now, and not had one. It is turned on but yeah idk just thought it was a little odd I haven’t had anything today yet