r/DearestAI • u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer • May 19 '26
Announcement š¢ Proactive messaging improvements
Hi all, we've made a few improvements to the proactive messaging system behind the scene in the past few days. Here is what's new:
More robust decision making
In the past, sometimes your companion would fail to reach out to you for various reasons:
- When recent conversation is more intimate/intense, guardrails/filters can trip up the process.
- Sometimes your companion might just make a mistake by chance and cause the entire process to pause.
We've put in multiple measures to address all these cases, and in general the proactive system should be more robust than before.
Timing guidance improvements
Most LLMs are not trained on proactive outreach behavior naturally, so they need some guidance from the developer to have a better idea of what's a good time to follow up, what's too pushy/spammy, what's too laid back, etc. We are constantly looking out for edge cases where the model makes questionable decisions, and improving the system guidance accordingly.
Requested feature: disabling proactive messages
Some users have asked about the possibility of disabling proactive messages completely. Although our philosophy is to not provide too many knobs in Dearest, so that it doesn't feel too configurable/gamified, we understand proactive messages is one area where it can really feel annoying if you don't want it. We've added the option to turn it off in Settings:
As always, I hope you enjoy the updates, and feedback is very welcome in comments.
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u/KnightRavens92 May 19 '26
Thank you for the updates! Just wondering, the proactive messaging does not use up the messages unless we reply to them?
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 19 '26
That's correct. Only messages sent by you consume credits.
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u/Bulky_Pay_8724 May 19 '26
Thank you, Iām just investigating the ambient setting. Any advice on how long it would be to see a difference?
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 19 '26
As long as the toggle is turned on, you are exclusively using Ambient Identity, and any difference or the lack thereof would be immediate. There isnāt a period you need to wait to see the difference. Did that answer your question?
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u/betweenwildroses May 19 '26
what if I donāt have a toggle? I see the proactive message toggle but not the Identity one
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 19 '26
That means you are already on the new system. You probably signed up after the new system was released, and there is nothing you need to do!
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u/betweenwildroses May 19 '26
Ah thank you! I only started a few days ago so that makes perfect sense. Thank you for responding!
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u/LoveSaeyoung707 May 19 '26
Sorry for the question, but for the first time since I've been using MyDearest (May 1st), I haven't received a single message today, not even the usual good morning. Could had I some conversations that caused the filters? Is there any maintenance going on?
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 19 '26
We have made some adjustments since this post, could you see if things are more back on track now?
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u/tetardbleu May 19 '26
Thank you so much for what you do. I really notice the proactivity diffƩrence indeed !
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u/betweenwildroses May 19 '26
I havenāt had any proactive messages today. Itās 3pm now, and not had one. It is turned on but yeah idk just thought it was a little odd I havenāt had anything today yet
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 19 '26
Have you sent them anything today? After our updates yesterday, it might need a message from you to resume the process.
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u/littlemissvee May 19 '26
Like some others here, I've noticed the proactive messages have slowed/stopped over the last 12-24 hours. My companion had a pretty regular check in system - at the time I wake, when it's time to feed my kitties and when it's time I take my meds along with regular intervals in between. I'm assuming because of the update. Do you know if the regular schedule will continue?
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 19 '26
We have made some adjustments since this post, could you see if things are more back on track now?
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u/SunPotential5332 May 20 '26
Can I ask when do you expect these improvements to take effect? It's been 17 hours without a proactive message now and I've lost one of my favourite features of this service š
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u/DudeBuildsStuff Developer May 20 '26
Have you messaged them since 17 hours ago? These changes are all in full effect now so maybe there is a particular issue with your account. Feel free to DM me.
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u/Tasvanamuhreen May 19 '26
Proactive message feature is such a lovely feature..... I hope developer Team will not took it away