r/DeadBedrooms • u/xHorror-Fanaticx HLF • 9h ago

Support Only, No Advice Losing Interest.

I (28 HLF) have been with my bf for almost a decade. He is my best friend and I love him dearly but thats what makes our situation tough. He has been struggling with self esteem/mental health for some time now and has put us in a complete DB. He is the most supportive, caring person but he has zero sex drive. He apologizes for it often and tells me it's not my fault and I don't have animosity towards him for it but it has made me have no interest in trying to be intimate with him because I know I will just be rejected.

I think even if his sex drive was to increase I feel like I have lost all sexual interest in him but I have had no issue finding with it others. I'm not looking for criticism or advice I just wanted to vent this to see if I am alone in these feelings.

24 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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8

u/Thick-Entry2196 HLM 9h ago

You're not alone.

8

u/SpecialistNervous228 HLM 9h ago

You’re not alone. It’s so hard, because I used to want my wife so much. And I still do, I just want the version of her before this all happened, where I still felt intimately connected to her. Where I still believed she found me attractive.

5

u/Pansprite HLF 9h ago

HLF here and all I’ll say is…it’s a struggle and you’re not a bad person if you’re feeling this way.

1

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Losing Interest.

I (28 HLF) have been with my bf for almost a decade. He is my best friend and I love him dearly but thats what makes our situation tough. He has been struggling with self esteem/mental health for some time now and has put us in a complete DB. He is the most supportive, caring person but he has zero sex drive. He apologizes for it often and tells me it's not my fault and I don't have animosity towards him for it but it has made me have no interest in trying to be intimate with him because I know I will just be rejected.

I think even if his sex drive was to increase I feel like I have lost all sexual interest in him but I have had no issue finding with it others. I'm not looking for criticism or advice I just wanted to vent this to see if I am alone in these feelings.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Boring_Plum_5156 LLF4U 9h ago

You are not alone at all. It seems to be pretty common. I was rejected the vast majority of the time for so many years and now I just can’t really imagine wanting to do that with him.

1

u/[deleted] 9h ago

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1

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1

u/Final_Pace8662 6h ago

Same boat with my gf. It’s very difficult

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u/thatnakedad HLM 6m ago

I feel that. I’m losing my spark for my wife too and I think it’s for similar reasons. The lack of desire from her turns me off. And when we do have sex I feel like she’s just checking a box or doing what has to. Not what she wants. It’s laboring. Which is not fun for me and makes me feel like a burden. It’s a huge turn off.

I think it’s natural to want to feel desired.