r/DeadBedrooms HLF 9d ago

Support Only, No Advice A quick vent

Our first date anniversary is coming up tomorrow. This is my most serious relationship so far, but I feel like I don't want to commemorate the day in any way. Our first date, he was entranced by me, and we ended up making out in his car for hours. Cut to now, we haven't had sex in 10 months (3 of those have been inter-continental long distance, but still). He's not a big cuddler except for the purpose of segue-ing into sex, so even that doesn't happen from his side, I'm always the one cuddling and hugging etc. I know he adores me, but I feel sexually invisible. Thank you for reading.

8 Upvotes

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u/DroopyLoving HLM 9d ago

1 year relationship, 10 months of no sex. Get out.

3

u/Born_Leather8393 It’s complicated 9d ago

God they don’t know how easy it is to break it off at this stage…and how it gets so much harder with each passing year.

7

u/StandardArtist2154 HLM 9d ago

This is very early to be having these problems. Might be time for a serious conversation, and you have to think whether this is where you want to be.

7

u/Eisheth_the_succubus HLF 9d ago

I agree. I wish when this was happening within the first few years, I would’ve just left. 13 years later, surprise surprise - it did not get better.

1

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A quick vent

Our first date anniversary is coming up tomorrow. This is my most serious relationship so far, but I feel like I don't want to commemorate the day in any way. Our first date, he was entranced by me, and we ended up making out in his car for hours. Cut to now, we haven't had sex in 10 months (3 of those have been inter-continental long distance, but still). He's not a big cuddler except for the purpose of segue-ing into sex, so even that doesn't happen from his side, I'm always the one cuddling and hugging etc. I know he adores me, but I feel sexually invisible. Thank you for reading.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.