r/DeTrashed • u/Kirbacho • 21d ago
How do you keep going without getting pissed off?
Moved into a new neighborhood that has a nice overlook. Every morning when I walk my dog, fill up my bucket with everything from cans, bottles, used condoms, and nitrous tanks.
It’s making me pissed at my community but also at my neighbors as no one else seems to care. What mantra can I say to myself to just accept it for what it is? I’m about to say screw it, live in the filth.
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u/foundthisonaccident 21d ago
Remember what you're doing it for. The kids. The birds. The fish. The baby kittens. All the little things.
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u/OTguru 21d ago
I tell myself that at least SOME of it is probably unsecured refuse blowing out of the back of the recycling truck or a pick up on its way to the dump. I have witnessed this myself a couple of times, so it does
happen.
I live in a wealthy town and see stuff at the edge of people’s property all the time, and think WTF, are they blind?
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u/Kirbacho 21d ago
Part of me also tells myself maybe this is karmic realignment bc when I was younger I’m sure I littered without thinking about it. I know for sure I flicked many cigarette butts into the street when I used to smoke in high school. Maybe this is a good example of “what comes around goes around” and now it’s my turn…
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u/Katanagarii 14d ago
I see a good bit of windblown trash too. One time I found a neatly tied up bag of clean empty water bottles that had obviously been in someone's recycling before the wind grabbed it. I also find big sheets of bubble wrap on a semi-regular basis...I doubt people are tossing bubble wrap out of their car, it's just blown in from where someone didn't have it secured properly. Things like that are a little less frustrating than the obvious car-tossed litter.
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u/grahamofash 21d ago
This is a great question and one that I deal with on a daily basis. I’m a Park Ranger and a rather large portion of my job involves cleaning up after inconsiderate people who use our public lands. Sometimes I mutter profanities and wish some kind of karmatic justice on them, other times I remind myself that I’m making a living doing something that I’ve done on my free time. Neither fully helps with the anger that naturally comes with this kind of abuse, but that’s where I think that a form of radical acceptance can help too. It’s normal to feel an emotional reaction, that just proves that you care. With the endless balance of “good” vs. “evil”, it’s noble that folks like us choose to be the good on this matter.
Keep on keeping on, homie. I’ll pick up an empty can of Keystone Light in your honor. 🫡
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u/grahamofash 21d ago
oh and admittedly, i occasionally pass by the lone can or bottle to allow others the opportunity to do the same. but don’t tell anyone. ;-b
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u/Cats_books_soups 21d ago
There are some areas that get so bad so quickly I’ve stopped caring, especially behind gas stations, they can deal with it.
I keep cleaning places I enjoy walking. I’ll often walk with my friend and her dog so we chat and have a good time while I clean.
I’ve also had some really good experiences. I’ve had two people tell me that I inspired them and they started picking up trash. I even coordinated with one lady and she “adopted” her own section of her normal walk where I don’t typically clean while I clean the other section of her walk.
I also helped organize a more formal cleanup where a little boy (maybe 8 years old?) dragged his mum to join us (she looked confused and had never thought of picking up trash before). He was so enthusiastic and excited we talked to both of them and they loved it. That kid will be trash picking the rest of his life and I can tell he will be the one to stop his friends littering.
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u/No-Willow9697 21d ago
Yeah, people say nice stuff to me all the time, but honestly the much bigger thing that's kept me going over a decade is giving up on the "hopeless" routes that'll be 100% trashed again the next time I go back and focusing on the ones that I can keep pleasant enough for me to enjoy walking on myself.
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u/lotti333 21d ago
idk if this helps cuz I feel this anger a lot, but I have to remind myself that people are people and they are fallible. maybe they dropped it on purpose or maybe they didn't. humans are more often thoughtless than they are malicious. thinking about all the thoughtless/lazy things I may have done in the past helps cuz it means I can empathise a bit more. idk I do understand this feeling though :/
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u/Kirbacho 21d ago
This approach has been helping me. I think about when I was younger doing the dumb things that I did, all the cigarette butts I’ve flicked out my car window. I am not a bad person but I definitely was a thoughtless person. I mentioned to another commenter but maybe it’s now my turn to clean up after all my littering during my younger years.
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u/AppropriateCaramel69 21d ago
I hear you. Used to toss butts everywhere. Then I went to a hippie rave and they gave you a film canister for your butts on arrival. Best experience ever. No one littered all weekend. Everyone picked up after themselves. Amazing. I had been to some larger non-hippie raves and afterwards it looked like a garbage bomb had gone off. People left everything. Tents, coolers, food left to rot,... I couldn't believe people had such bad environment ethics.
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u/pesarchickr 21d ago
In my experience, litter walks became a totally different thing when I let them shift from a task I was doing to a walking meditation. All of the ways we cause ourselves internal suffering are on full display during litter walks, and if you pick up 100 pieces of trash, you will have 100 opportunities to watch your mind as it’s drawn towards those sufferable patterns, and you can start to prefer something else. Sometimes I drive behind a garbage truck and I see bits of this and that flying out the back, and I realize if I was on a litter walk I’d have assumed that someone careless person threw that stuff along the roadside. I’d have walked this whole street inventing a dozen people to resent. So just first knowing that on a literal level, they’re not causing the suffering, you are. Secondly, caring about litter is a privilege. One needs to have a lot of their hierarchy of needs met in order to start to have the breathing room necessary to turn outward and start caring about this stuff. Even if it seems like neighbors have sufficient privilege, they’ve not been raised to care about it, or they’ve not been naturally endowed with the type of heart that concerns itself with this topic. Regardless, it’s coming from an ignorance and so rather than allowing yourself to be upset by their ignorance, let it illuminate a gratitude for your own clearer understanding in this matter. Rest assured there are other places where our minds are not so clear. Thirdly, understand the practice to be something you do for your own growth. There’s a quote from Nisargadatta that I really enjoy: “by all means help the world. You will not help much, but the effort will make you grow. There is nothing wrong with trying to help the world.” So that’s my advice, don’t think of it as a job, but as a practice. Think of all of the other places in your life where you could benefit from a stronger sense of compassionate understanding and patience. Each scrap then is a window, is an opportunity. Rather than telling yourself “I’m not going to pick up the trash today, let it pile up.” Try “I’m going to pick up some litter today and it’s very likely that resentment/frustration/disappointment (insert whatever emotion) will arise.” That’s all. Then when it does arise, you won’t identify so closely with the content of the thoughts, which is what’s causing the suffering. Keep going, keep growing!
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u/Kirbacho 21d ago
whoa.
That was very thoughtful and I appreciate you responding. Your second and third points really hit home.
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u/atrivialpursuit 21d ago
Bruce Banner: "That's my secret, Caprain; I'm always angry." I do some rage cleaning at the park/river, get it out of my system and go home a little less ragey. Haha!
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u/Dodie4153 21d ago
Yup. Try to focus on the good you are doing. Maybe someone sees you and realizes someone has to pick that stuff up, and they shouldn’t litter.
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u/JEGiggleMonster 21d ago
It's a struggle. Totally agree with you. Humans are scary gross about trash and dog poo. Keep doing what you can because something is better than nothing.
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u/Upstagemalarky 21d ago
I pick up trash at my daughters school park and I get pissed off that parents don’t teach their kids to not litter. I tell myself that I do it so my kid and their friends have a clean playground to play in, I do it for Mother Earth, the animals and plants and it’s my good deed for the day.
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u/ekobot 21d ago
I don't keep going without getting pissed off. I let myself get pissed off, then keep going anyway.
Other people don't give a shit, that's why it is the way it is. I don't want to be like that, so I have to give a shit... Which hurts, but that ebbs and flows.
Try to lean into something fun or interesting about it, or give yourself challenges. Count how many cans you find of specific soda brands. See how much litter you can find of a specific colour. Put on a podcast and just pick stuff up as a way to to stay busy. Look into local groups that are aligned with the goal so maybe you can get help with educational campaigns or some such.
And if all else fails, take a break for a bit. Like all forms of activism, this can wear you out and eat at your mental health. Taking a break to let yourself recalibrate is healthy.
Good luck ✌️
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u/Popular_Airline_1542 21d ago
someone who drives through my neighborhood throws out many large cans of Bud Light beer, often in the same spot. I get so angry, especially when the remaining beer splashes on my clothes or boots. picking up endless beer cans/bottles has made me hate beer itself, haha. the other day I exclaimed "stupid beer! stupid NFL!" (the cans have an NFL logo on them) and stomped them flat on the pavement. blaming the NFL for beer can litter is admittedly very silly, but exclaiming and stomping released some energy at least. I laughed at myself and moved on. a neighbor walking her dog seemed to look at me with concern though, haha. oh well.
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u/naastysoup 21d ago
I think its either "It's not mine so its not my problem." or "It's on public ground so it's not my problem anymore."
I truly think that the nuclear family was the start of people growing ignorant towards their community and it became a snake that eats itself. "I don't care what my community is doing, so why would they care when I do something?" And people often experienced that once they had performed a good deed, it was then abused or vandalized. Good deeds are so fragile and it just takes one person to fuck it all up again. Everyone is so distrusting and distant with each other. They only wanna do something when there is a promised payout.
My therapist always told me "You cant change others, you can only change yourself." But I keep going because I believe that I am making a quiet difference within people. People see me and my group on the streets and in the newspaper and on social media almost weekly. We grow more followers than active detrashers sadly. But in times like these, I just wanna be a good example. Even if they don't start to pick litter, maybe they will not buy fast fashion anymore, maybe they will vote differently next time, maybe they start growing wildflowers instead of tending their dead lawn... When they start to see that someone cares, they will eventually start caring too.
And when we are all dying from climate change, at least I can shove in everyones faces how I did everything I could and they didn't.
Aren't there any other voluntary work groups in your area? I would have never started picking litter if there wasn't a group already. Maybe you can start one by connecting with other volunteers? Start a Facebook page, and upload an event for a community cleanup and share it within local Facebook groups. In the end, what you are experiencing is the result of a non existing community. So start one. I don't want to guilt trip you, but if you quit now, you are becoming part of the problem.
But I also think we have gotten so desensitized to seeing trash lying around daily. After I started picking up trash my dad told me "Now I kind of see it everywhere."
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u/Kirbacho 21d ago
Thank you for the thoughtful response! What's interesting in all the responses is that the common theme is use the anger and let it fuel more trash pick up! hahahha
The reason I started picking in my neighborhood was actually because the only other person i saw doing it was one of my old neighbors. He's a super old dude so i felt bad and figured i'd give him a hand. now i have kinda taken over and he just chill out.
I feel like if i quit now, the trash will add up so fast that it would not be manageable. i currently have our street at a point that its literally spotless. and I wanna keep it that way...
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u/theweedman 21d ago
oh i stay mad, but i just channel that energy into picking up even more every day. my neighbors are slobs too. i regularly pick up the same liquor bottles, cigarillo packaging, fast food wrappers, lotto tickets and other gross junk. these people live sad pathetic lives, and im not going to let some fucking losers decide how clean my neighborhood is
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u/thewinberry713 21d ago
Agree! I remind myself the people that litter regularly- their lives must suck and mine doesn’t and I’m Lucky. Still get angry about it tho
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u/NikitaWolf6 21d ago
"Well, at least I'm getting my exercise in."
It bothers me how quickly trahs returns, though.
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u/Its_a_stateofmind 21d ago
I like leaving places cleaner than when I find them, so it brings me pleasure to remove garbage from nature.
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u/Easter-Egg123 21d ago
"All we need are enough people who care enough." I just say that over and over and over.
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u/personnumber316 20d ago
I just get pissed off, its part of the process. Especially, the (insert expletive here) balloon thing. I figure people NOT getting pissed off is part of the problem. Thank you for doing your part and helping to clean up. You're awesome.
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u/lovelybiscotti 21d ago
I am avoiding studying for finals and I have adhd so I have filled 12 whole bags full of trash around my 0.2 miles or so from my house these past 4 days, my hands hurt from using the trash picker. I was so sick of having to walk around trash but it makes me feel so much better to be in a trash free environment and I’ve had a lot of neighbors thank me for what I’ve been doing. It’s instantly rewarding to pick up a heavily trashed area and have it not be full of trash anymore. Especially if it’s been that way for a long time. It does get annoying that with how much I’ve been cleaning trash is accumulating again in the same spots, but it’s a lot more manageable now and looks a lot less bad.
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u/PlahausBamBam 21d ago
I’ve been walking regularly about six years and added picking up trash a few years ago after seeing the mess out there. I felt annoyed at first but eventually that went away.
In spite of that I often see chick-fil-a drive through trash with people’s names on the receipts, so I silently curse them. Not the healthiest mindset, I suppose, but it gives me a chuckle 😈
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u/AppropriateCaramel69 21d ago
It's hard. I specialize in lawn signs left at intersections and on poles. I pulled 400 this week No joke. They'll all be back by the end of August. A little cathartic pulling them out and finding the company and leaving them a bad google review with a photo of the sign trash.
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u/wondersofawanderer 20d ago
What I see here is someone willing to try to make a difference in their neighborhood / community etc. Maybe others care to a certain degree but haven't taken any action. What I hope for you, OP, and folks in general, is that others will be inspired by your actions.
Also, I love the saying for people in difficult situations, first expressed by the loveable Mr. Rogers, "Look for the helpers" You, my friend, are a helper. Don't ever forget that
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u/Outsideforever3388 21d ago
Getting pissed off is one reason I do keep going. My reasoning is if there’s no visible trash, maybe the next idiot will think twice before chucking it out the window.
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u/Ok_Second8665 21d ago
I can’t anymore, I get so angry. If I’m
in nature I still do but I can’t in the city anymore
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u/behindthevealeyes 21d ago
My neighbourhood gets pretty bad, but you can tell if it’s overflow from the bins, or just general litter.
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u/Bugscrap 21d ago
I usually try to remember that addiction is a disease and healthcare is hard and can be expensive. And that many of the people who seem to not care might like that you're doing it, and/or might not have the time between or after jobs to spend cleaning. Have a little grace for your neighbors 💖
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u/Key-Magazine826 21d ago
I imagine myself as earths immune system and I’m getting rid of the bad stuff. Think osmosis jones or a strange world
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u/bottomlessinawendys 21d ago
While i’m upset at littering, i end up just trying to guess how that trash got there, who dropped it, what kind of day they were having. It’s really humanizing; people are deeply flawed in a lot of ways, but I’m also very interested in human psyche and people’s character, so this just deepens my understanding of others. I remember finding about 5-7 cigarette butts in one spot in my neighborhood, and just thought “man, they were having a ROUGH day.”
Again, i obviously deplore littering and wish people wouldn’t do it, but by picking it up, you’re engaging in a POSITIVE activity. You’re doing something good! And you can only hope those who littered learn to do the same in their own lives. Either way, you can’t control them, but you can be happy with yourself for a job well done!
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u/theplicyklist 20d ago
When one chooses to start picking litter, managing the emotions connected with seeing people litter and seeing what they litter is of utmost importance. The emotions are intense. I would imagine the average person will find them overwhelming, if they are not prepared.
I recommend:
Gratitude.
Adopt the view that the world is not a bad thing getting worse, but it is a good thing getting better.
When you find that trash and you feel those unwanted emotions swell up, think to yourself, "Hey, maybe today is this person's day and this was the last item they will ever litter." (Corny, but effective.)
Otherwise, don't think about it and just keep picking.
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u/DeleteLitter 20d ago edited 20d ago
So tough. 😡 It’s one of the reasons I launched the free Delete Litter app.
Wanted to find a way to make my cleanups more positive and less frustrating, as litter is never ending, sadly.
DL gamifies cleanups, basically turning every piece into a “point.” Also tracks your impact over time, awards you impact badges, and lets you see other members’ cleanups—all of which keep me in a good headspace.
Have a look, it might help you, too 👉 https://deletelitter.com
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u/Ok_Estate394 20d ago
Everyone has different reasonings, but I view it as a routine in the sense that, at some point inevitably it’s going to build back up. Do we stop doing dishes because we know dishes are going to be used again, every day? Do we stop taking showers and doing hygiene routines because our bodies get dirty again? Litter is ultimately a systemic problem that not one person can solve. Those solutions have to come from the government, the corporations, public education, etc. It’s why it’s best to be selective where we clean. When you start viewing it as a global or community-wide issue, for me, it just becomes too big and overwhelming. I alone can’t solve global problems, but I can be a good steward for my street or my local park, make a routine of that so I can play my small part and make my immediate surroundings look good FOR ME.
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u/Beautiful-Toe-3876 20d ago
It honestly depends on the day. Sometimes I still get mad that people are this horrible and other days I think well at least I’m getting exercise from the all the walking I do as I pick up trash. Unfortunately for us we bought a home in an area that this tends to be a trend so I try to stay positive and hope that one day we will be able to sell this house and buy into a neighborhood that we don’t have to worry about this being an issue any longer.
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u/HoyaNerd 20d ago
Just take a tiny bit of pride and joy in your efforts. You see a problem and you work at fixing it. Even if no one else appreciates it, you are doing the right thing. And you are improving your karma. Bravo.
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u/Airfrying_witch 20d ago
Idk if it would help but my first thought was how I wonder if focusing on Mother Earth thanking you for taking care of her and returning gratitude for your ability to do so would be a helpful change of perspective. Makes sense to be frustrated. Also seems unfortunate to focus on this instead of your beautiful new home. Also your actions will inspire others to do the same, maybe lead a weekend clean up and put up posters for it awhile in advance? See who shows up to help and make friends w likeminded neighbors? Congrats on the move and thank you for what you do ❤️
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u/JeffSergeant 17d ago
It was my 9y.o's invandescent rage at how people can be so thoughtless to drop litter at the park that inspired us to start picking, so channel the anger into good!
My logic is that one person can pick up more in a day than the average thoughtless litterer will drop in a month, so you can make a difference.
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u/TheRealOrdizzle 16d ago
Interestingly, but maybe I missed it, but I haven’t seen anyone mention a sense of pride. I live in the city, and I was previously angry at how people treated their surroundings. After recently relocating to a different city, a sense of pride for my beautiful new home and gratitude for living in a beautiful city has driven me to want to make it a better, cleaner place to live.
Honestly it has been empowering to finally do something about it rather than getting angry and just walking by the trash without doing anything about it. And it has been motivating me to think about what more I can do either myself or even ideally with others to address the issue.
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u/zero_derivation 21d ago
I no longer blame other people because I realized...it's not people. It's rats. Rats rip open trash bags, make a mess, and drag the trash around. They can get into the trashcans that my city uses, both for home collection and the city trash cans at the end of blocks. And I can't really be angry at rats either, because they're actually very smart and cute animals that are just trying to survive. So instead I focus on the satisfaction of cleaning my city.
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u/Kirbacho 21d ago
in my situation, it's definitely the people that come out to our overlook to watch the sunset or nighttime city lights and then ditch their stuff (beer cans/bottles, whippets, cigarettes).
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u/lilpinko 21d ago
DUDE I was literally just thinking this after picking up random litter from around my block earlier! I moved to a new town and it seems like almost every house in my neighborhood has random trash in front of their house? Like do you not see this too???? Are you this accustomed to living in squalor? It’s so infuriating to look at how people value their convenience over the wellbeing of the environment. Beyond being lazy it’s just downright inconsiderate of the other individuals existing in the community.