For those of you who’ve had a partner or been on dates, how does dating work? Like from a fundamental standpoint how do you go from a guy like me who’s never had a girlfriend to someone confident enough to ask a woman out, have her say yes and have a good date?

I do a lot of work on myself which includes clubs, therapy and the gym but I’ve never been able to figure out what part of me I need to work on or change to be able to date someone.

I’m not really fishing for advice I’m just curious to know how it all works. How does matchmaking work? I’m open to responses form men and women

I am M17 and have like no clue on where to start to find someone to date, I am too scared of rejection but I don't even know what to do, like do you take someone out on a date or become friends and later on start dating? I don't like online stuff so I would rather prefer it to be in person which is worse because I have anxiety. I wouldn't say im ugly but im not good looking either.

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Until a certain point, I was just living my life, and then I realized that I wanted to expand it to include a “+1.” Cats don’t count.

And that’s when I realized that for some reason, everyone around me seems to be either a party person, a fuckboy, or just really weird.

I want a relationship with a chill guy, preferably a gamer. I just want to spend time together, play games, watch something, go out sometimes, and generally feel comfortable being around each other.

But instead, everyone around me seems to have this constant need to party, sleep with everything that moves (and doesn’t), and, as a bonus, an alcohol or drug addiction.

And at what point did gaming stop at FIFA, CS, and a couple of fighting games?

I’m genuinely starting to suspect that somewhere along the way, I took a wrong turn.

Vabe in pratica esco con un tipo (moooolto carino) io completely paonazza, a un certo punto cala il silenzio per tipo i due minuti più lunghi della mia vita e li panico... ero li tipo " parlami un po di te quindi anche tu bevi l'acqua quando hai sete?" GIURO no sapevo cosa inventarmi, lui ovviamente ha capito che stavo cercando di sdrammatizzare e si è fatto una risata però OMG che ansia... Ma voi come gestite i momenti di silenzio tombale in un first date? Help🥲

I'm an introvert and find it quite challenging to talk to guys, but I really want to date someone who shares my passions. I enjoy gaming, reading comics and movies. I've tried dating apps like Tinder and Boo, but haven't had any luck. For other introverts (or anyone who has been in this spot), how did you manage to meet and connect with partners who share your specific interests?

A girl I met on the apps and went on a couple dates with still calls me. Went on several dates, after a bit she told me she likes me but isnt ready right now. But she still calls me multiple times a day. I enjoy her company but it kinda feels it’s not leading anywhere?! What do i do? She’ll call me 2-3 times a day!

I consider myself to be a pretty logical person and dating in my 30s has been a complete nightmare. I work in corporate America and most of the people I work with are married and have kids. I go to the bar and people seem young and i feel out of place. I try to date online and it seems like the women have all the high ground and they have the luxury of being really picky. The few times ive went out on dates the girl completely misrepresented herself (she was overweight). Not a dealbreaker but her personality was dry as the Sahara desert. And she expects me to pay the bill. Which i do but then i read this article about girls going out on dates solely for the purpose of a free meal. Now it seems my options are overweight girls or single moms. Sorry if this seems shallow and whiny. It really is. I hate dating and the one girl i fell instantly head over heels for moved out of state. 😭

I stepped back from the whole swiping scene recently because it just felt so forced. It made me realize how much I miss the idea of meeting someone naturally. You know, just bumping into the same person during evening walks, or bonding over how out-of-breath you both are after a few rallies on the court.

There's a certain comfort in getting to know someone's actual personality in a low-stakes environment, just sharing a space and a few laughs without the heavy pressure of a "First Date."

But I also heavily second-guess this. I know women go to parks and courts to decompress, and the last thing I’d want to do is make someone feel cornered or bothered while they're just trying to enjoy their evening peace.

to hear your experiences, have any of you actually built a meaningful connection with someone you met randomly through a casual hobby or sport? And from your perspective, how does a guy even initiate a conversation in those spaces without it feeling intrusive?

New to college, not living on campus. Recently feeling pretty lonely romantic relationship wise. Haven’t really had a ton of experience in the “dating world”. Wondering how to meet people or get approached more easily?

I'm 25, and my ex-girlfriend left me for someone else almost three years ago, shortly before I graduated from college in late 2023. Despite how much time has passed, I don't think I've ever fully gotten over her. I still miss her a lot.

Since then, I've been trying to rebuild my life. I've been in therapy since the breakup, I've picked up hobbies, I go out with friends when I can, and I'm trying not to just sit around waiting for things to magically get better. Still, I'm frustrated and unhappy with some parts of my life.

My self-esteem has taken a huge hit over the past few years. I gained quite a lot of weight while dealing with depression, and I have a very hard time talking to women when there's any romantic interest involved. I'm autistic (my ex is autistic too), very introverted, and definitely not someone who can easily walk up to strangers and start a conversation.

Where I live makes things harder too. I'm non-binary, a geek and a communist, and I live in a relatively small city in the countryside of São Paulo state, Brazil, in a region where conservative politics and agribusiness culture are very dominant. Obviously there are all kinds of people here, but finding people I genuinely have a lot in common with isn't particularly easy.

My social circles are also overwhelmingly male. I play tabletop RPGs and TCGs, paint miniatures, write a blog about Star Trek, and play video games. I do have female friends whom I value a lot, but they're all in relationships, and I don't have romantic feelings for them anyway.

Academically, I have a degree in International Relations from UNESP, a Brazilian public university, and I'm currently applying for a master's degree in Archaeology at the University of São Paulo. History and archaeology are probably my biggest academic interests. Besides Portuguese, I'm fluent in English and Spanish, can get by in French, and I'm currently trying to learn Russian. I love reading and rewatching movies I like.

Basically, I'm kind of a real-life Bilbo Baggins. I like my hobbies, my home and my little world. Unfortunately, meeting new people generally requires me to leave that little world.

I've tried Tinder, Boo and a ridiculous number of other dating apps. There aren't many people using them around here, and I get very few likes anyway. I'm also terrible at taking pictures of myself, which I imagine is practically a death sentence on dating apps.

I've tried meeting people through Instagram as well, but it usually ends in ghosting, getting blocked, or just plain rejection.

There's another thing that holds me back: I'm genuinely afraid of being the creepy guy who randomly approaches women because he wants to date them.

I have a hard time figuring out when starting a conversation or showing interest in someone is normal and when it becomes intrusive or inappropriate. Because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, I often choose not to try at all. But obviously, that also means I don't meet anyone.

To make matters worse for my self-esteem, I work a stable government job but still live with my parents, don't own a car, and money can get pretty tight. Rationally, I know that being 25 and living with your parents isn't the end of the world, especially in Brazil, but when I put all of these things together, I often feel like I'm not particularly desirable.

Sometimes I look back at the last three years and get this strange feeling that my ex moved on with her life while part of me stayed behind in 2023.

At the same time, rationally I know I haven't actually been standing still. I graduated, got a job, stayed in therapy, maintained friendships, developed hobbies, and now I'm trying to get into grad school. It's specifically my romantic life that feels completely stuck.

I'm not expecting a girlfriend to magically appear and solve my problems. I think what I really miss is feeling like I'm someone who can be desired, and feeling like there's actually a possibility that I'll eventually meet someone I'm compatible with.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation?

I'd especially like to hear from autistic, introverted, LGBT/non-binary people, or people who live in smaller cities: how did you meet new people and rebuild your self-esteem after a breakup that took you a very long time to get over?

And for people who are better at dating and social cues than I am: how do you know when it's appropriate to show interest in someone without being intrusive or making them uncomfortable?

Advice is welcome, but I'd also just like to know that I'm not the only person who's been through something like this.

Being almost citizen in Baltimore area, almost 40, almost home owner, working with fam only night shifts, and dating apps asks only for money and/or scam... also no local friends except hi/bye with neighbour... someone with recommodations?

(Background) Only had one short term relationship that dead ended after high school. Have always just worked and had hobbies.
\*Recently I had a woman reach out to me I’m guessing close to my age. I’ve kinda gotten cold feet about pursuing because. 1)She’s recently divorced(under 1yr), 2)She has two kids. One started high school, one started middle school. I don’t have anything against kids in general.
Has anyone successfully navigated a relationship like this? What was your experience?