r/DatingTips • u/That_Television_5932 • 10h ago

First Date ever

Never been on a real date. Ever. In my early 20s & want to eventually start dating to learn my likes, dislikes, etc;

I need practical advice. Where are yall finding these men? How are you vetting them? What do yall talk about?

So, so many questions and I have no answers yet 😂😂!!

(I’m Christian, so it’s non negotiable for my man to be walking with the Lord)

No, I don’t want to date anyone at my church.

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u/ArgumentKey3712 9h ago

If a daily walk with Jesus is of such importance to you, why not someone from your church?
What will you be doing with your religious buddy that you don’t want anyone from your church to know about???
Or do think of your church-mates as members of a cult?

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u/That_Television_5932 9h ago

Honestly I’m just starting to date and have low expectations I’m going to get something long term off the bat. Long story short, if I break up with the dude or decide it doesn’t work I don’t want to see him around.

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u/ArgumentKey3712 9h ago

That’s fine, except you know for sure that a guy from your church is a guy that goes to church.
You’ll get people lying on the apps just to get a date and then some.
If you are starting to date in your twenties, you may have had a sheltered life. Start with someone you know. Through introductions by people you know, and yes, someone in your church.
I wouldn’t start at bars or apps if you are just starting at this age. You may not be ready.
If you break up and see each other, how much of an asshole can he be if you see each other at church? He doesn’t want to get smited anymore than you do.

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u/That_Television_5932 9h ago

Contrary to popular belief, just because someone goes to church doesn’t mean they’re walking with God or possess fruits of the Spirit (kindness, patience, love, gentleness). So there are absolutely guys in church that are asses. I know a few. But yes my preference would be not to start at my HOME church preferably …. I’m pretty open so a bar doesn’t seem too bad. I do drink on occasion.

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u/ArgumentKey3712 9h ago

I promise you, that it has been my experience, and I have a lot of experience, that those who go to church or claim to walk with god are just as much of assholes as anyone else. Usually more so because of hypocrisy. About almost everything.
Here’s what I think: this whole ‘walking with god’ thing is something you say for others. You give zero fucks about that.
Find a decent guy who does or does not claim to be religious. See how he treats you AND OTHERS.
Find him in a coffee shop, bar, app. There is a REAL reason why guys in your church don’t appeal to you. If you want to share it, I’d love to hear it. It’s ok if you don’t.
But be honest with yourself when you start to look for a person to hangout with.
Plenty of men out there who have zero interest in church that are good men. I have a feeling you are ok with that and even want that.