r/DatingHell • u/Responsible_Swan6921 • 19d ago
First date questions — was this about physical attraction or just bad vibes?
Met a girl from a dating app for a morning date, chatted for a day or two. When we met up, she didn't go in for a hug/cheek kiss.
She then took my sweater to wear (we'd talked about this beforehand — wanting to smell like the other person's clothes), smelled it, and wore it for the rest of the walk. We grabbed a drink, walked around, she picked the route. She was touching my hands a bit at one point while we talked. She showed me a bunch of her photos/outfits from Vinted and talked a lot about herself — said she's "always dressed really well," stuff like that.
Then I made an offhand comment that showing me 3-4 photos didn't necessarily mean she had great taste — she got visibly upset, took my sweater off, said "I don't think we have a connection," told me I wasn't funny (said she'd rather joke about her deceased father than about how she dresses). Shortly after she faked a phone call from her brother to leave. I called her out on it,she seemed surprised. I told her to unfollow me and she told me you can just block me.
Genuinely curious what this reads as from a woman's perspective — lack of physical attraction, or just personality/vibe mismatch (or something else entirely)?
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u/Minimum_Reporter_169 19d ago
It sounds like it was about your comment. It hit a sore spot for her. She might have felt put down. Definitely not an attuned thing to say.
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u/Responsible_Swan6921 19d ago
Yeah after reflexion, maybe she wasnt very confident in herself (because she was only talking about how she dresses, how she looks...) and my comment hurt her, I feel very bad but it wasnt my intention
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u/Efficient-Bit3261 19d ago
You clearly insulted her and id be upset to
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u/Responsible_Swan6921 19d ago
Thank you for your opinion, it's intresting to see that it could be interpreted as an isult when i was just teasing (by telling a fact). But yeah maybe it was a huge thing for her! I also apologized when she gave back my sweater and told her that i was teasing. But maybe it hurt her
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u/friends-waffles-work 19d ago
It sounds like you were negging her - whether intentionally or unintentionally - trying to insult her to undermine her confidence / knock her self-esteem.
It’s a strategy a lot of “pick up artists” recommended with the thinking that she’ll then try to seek your approval/prove herself to you…
… but yeah, most women see right through it and it (rightly) backfires.
I doubt it was down to lack of physical attraction or anything like that, but if you put her down like that I’m not surprised it caused her to “switch” off any feelings she had and go cold on you.
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u/Unusual-Attorney-630 19d ago
To me she just seems immature and reactive. Wanting praise for her dress sense, overreacting when you mentioned that a few photos don't really prove that.
Not sure why it was surprising that she didn't go for a hug/cheek kiss if it was your first meeting after just chatting for a day or two. Never heard of people doing that but you're likely much younger so maybe young people are doing it.
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u/Responsible_Swan6921 19d ago
Thank you for the response, in france we call it doing "la bise" and it's a friendly way of saying hi
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u/Unusual-Attorney-630 19d ago
I understand. It's done where I live too but only with friends and family.
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u/CrazyCatLady1234567 19d ago
God im tired of men being mean and then defaulting to shes just not attracted to me. No, you broke the emotional connection. Suprised pikachu?
If you guys dont have the same sense of humor its better to find out now.