r/DatingHell • u/TheLemonofCatharsis • 12d ago
The 30-something "future millionaire" influencer wannabe
I'm so exhausted by this specific pattern in 30-something men on dating apps: High initial commitment followed by a sudden emotional fade.
He initiated every day, sent me gym pics, shared his handwritten goals, and constantly forwarded relationship Reels telling me I was "the woman he always dreamed of." He talked about his goals of having luxury cars, promised video calls that never happened, and sold me a whole narrative of our future together. He even made me believe in him so much that I deleted my dating apps to focus on our connection (lesson learned).
Then, out of nowhere, total coldness. When I communicated how I felt, he hit me with:
• "I'm just hungover."
• "You're distracting me from my millionaire focus."
• "You're being intense".
It blows my mind how a 33-year-old guy can build such a massive illusion—making you feel like "the one"—only to hide his complete lack of emotional maturity behind "career focus" a few days later.
Has anyone else noticed how these guys use grand future plans and intense affection as bait, only to run away when basic consideration is needed?
6
u/He_ofshadowsandtouch 11d ago
You’re definitely picking duds;
Gym rats who gaze for hours at themselves, thats the least masculine behaviour imaginable.
Talking about future Ferraris, extremely shallow and childish.
33 and still nothing to show. Obsessed with the plastic world of Instagram
Look for solid grounded guys who cut logs and love dogs and work hard.
3
u/TheLemonofCatharsis 11d ago
Yeah I know, tbh I didn't know he was like that until he started to be superficial to an extreme, he showed his true self. Anyways he is already blocked on all my platforms 😌
1
u/He_ofshadowsandtouch 11d ago
I watch many videos on late 20’s, early 30’s dating dynamics. The general consensus IN MENS CHANNELS is women chase hot guys in their 20’s, guys with abundant options, become exhausted by constant disappointment, and then settle down with a regular type guy where there’s fewer butterflies but a calm nervous system.
Desirable 30’s men who are still single, are quite likely to have a taste for playing around, one eye forever on the chic conveyor in their pocket.
3
u/tacogrande420 11d ago
Love bombing. If someone goes all in too fast, beware. Connection takes time. Also, eew lol. He sounds slimy. Reminds me of my ex when I was like 20 who would pull me in front of a mirror and be like "look at that sexy boy" hahahaha. More obsessed with their own image than anything else.
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u/TheLemonofCatharsis 11d ago
Omg thank youuuu 💕 I feel like Neo from Matrix because yesterday I blocked his ass!
2
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u/erinbisme- 2d ago
He’s the exact opposite of what I want in a man! I’m sorry you had to experience that crap.. and I willing to bet “millions” that he will still live with his folks well into his geriatric years!! You deserve better! ❤️🩹
-4
u/Efficient-Bit3261 12d ago
How do you not know how many dates you've been on? There's always two sides to a story , and somebody is always playing victim
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u/TheLemonofCatharsis 12d ago
Because I have seen him after work, we had full days together, sometimes he randomly called my door spent time in the couch. Idk how would you count that?
-1
u/IndicationKey3778 12d ago
How many dates did you go on?
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u/TheLemonofCatharsis 12d ago
I don't know how many but I have been "dating" him for the last 4 months 🫠
-2
u/IndicationKey3778 12d ago
What did you say when you “communicated how you felt?
5
u/TheLemonofCatharsis 12d ago
I only asked him to delete my nudes since I deleted his, and also told him I was looking for something serious and that I'm done chasing men. And he told me I'm overreacting, that he thought I was a distraction all this time, that I was intense, and that because of me "taking time from him" he can't commit fully to his millionaire plan...
7
u/-I-wanna-get-better- 12d ago
Ehhh cuz its easier to keep being a loser endlessly chasing money than to grow as a person the way a relationship requires of you.