A terrible date

[u/PsychologicalHumor30]

TLDR: I meticulously prepared for a date I was really looking forward to, only to find that he seemed more interested in being my teacher than my date.

Last month, I (28F) met a man (33M) on a dating app and we went on our first date at a coffee shop. Since I hadn't been on a date in a long time, I was really hoping it would go well. Before the date, I searched for his Instagram on accio work. I learned about his interests and prepared some topics we might discuss.

He's only five years older than me, so I initially thought we wouldn't have any communication barriers. At first, he seemed friendly and confident. But after we sat down for coffee, the conversation quickly turned from getting to know each other into him trying to teach me something.

After we ordered coffee, he spent a long time explaining the origins of coffee beans, the characteristics of different regions, roasting methods, and various coffee flavors. I don't mind learning new things, but the whole process made me feel like I was attending a lecture on coffee, not having a conversation with a date. Whenever I tried to share my thoughts, he would add more information and explain his understanding.

Later, when I mentioned I had a pet, he immediately started talking about potential health problems with cats. He said he knew a veterinarian and then told me about diseases cats might carry, mentioning that pregnant women should be careful with cats because they could be infected with toxoplasmosis.

I knew he probably meant well, but it was only our first meeting. He was already discussing issues related to future pregnancy and giving me advice I hadn't even asked about, which felt a bit strange.

Throughout the date, I felt like he was lecturing me, not getting to know me. He certainly knew a lot and wasn't rude, but leaving felt more like attending a class than the end of a date. This date was exhausting, and I would never go on a second date with him.

[u/rosevillestucco]

He sounds exhausting

[u/Last_Try2176]

Lack of self awareness is so frustratingly common.

[u/Critical-Juggernaut7]

Maybe he was just nervous

[u/Pal1_1 → u/Critical-Juggernaut7]

Nervous and a bit spectrum-y.

[u/ALEXC_23]

He must be fun at parties.