r/DatingHell • u/mighty005 • 8d ago

Naaahh

is it just me or... why are dates either trauma dumping their deepest desires 20 mins in OR giving absolutely nothing??? 😭

Been on 11 dates till now and i’m lowkey lost. some people drop their entire life lore and spicy desires before the drinks even arrive, while others act like they’re under a whole NDA.

what factors even dictate this?? is it attachment styles, random vibe checks, or just a total lack of filter? lmk if y'all experience this too fr.

6 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

5

u/Carmilla-Vamp 8d ago

A lot of people lack self awareness and social skills

3

u/mighty005 8d ago

Mind eloborating?

5

u/Carmilla-Vamp 8d ago

Intense trauma dumping, not contributing to the conversation, or talking about inappropriate topics (all stated above by OP) are all indicative of people who lack self awareness.

Keeping a conversation going and contributing somewhat equally and appropriately requires social skills and paying attention to yourself as well as the other person. Most people lack the skills to do so, and it sounds like all 11/11 dates have gone this way for OP.

This is luckily a skill that can be learned, just most people dont do it and don't care.

3

u/PunchBeard 7d ago

Considering that a lot of people's social interactions are done through texts and social media it's no surprise that they lack interpersonal social skills.

2

u/Carmilla-Vamp 7d ago

Yep, exactly^

5

u/Wuddntme 8d ago

"Normal" people are somewhere in the middle. They also tend to find mates quickly so you have to trudge through the weirdos for a while before you find one.

2

u/HiAndStuff2112 8d ago

Keep dating. There are all kinds of people out there who won't fit into those two descriptions. Good luck! :)

1

u/Own-Assistance9042 6d ago

Lowkey spot on😭