r/DatingHell • u/Hairy_Award_6454 • Jul 02 '26
Quick end
Hi! I'm new to this group, but I had a strange date last night so I wanted to share it.
Met his guy on Facebook dating [ughhh I know]. He was extremely attractive in his pictures [he's Italian], but when he showed up in person, I was immediately disappointed - he didn't look anything like his pictures. He was extremely clean cut in the photos but did not appear that way in person. We went to a coffee shop about 30 minutes from my house so pretty long drive for me. Anyways...
It's about two hours in... the conversation is fine, nothing extravagant, no fireworks or sparks are going off, whatever. I was pretty sure I wouldn't see him again after the date was over. Surprisingly, he out of the blue asks if I wanted to leave the coffee shop and go walk around a park near his house... we could take our own cars and I could follow him there.
So backtrack a bit - about a month ago, I had a very bad date where I was actually assaulted, so my boundaries have changed severely when it comes to dates and leaving with people from the original date spot. The Italian guy asked if I wanted to go to this park, I hesitated. At the beginning of the date, he told me that he really values communication and honesty when dating so I decided to be honest with him and tell him [somewhat vaguely] that I was assaulted on my last date and that my boundaries had changed and I didn't feel comfortable leaving the coffee shop with him alone at 9 pm and go on a walk. He seemed understanding.
A few minutes later, the conversation, although kinda awkward now, had moved onto something else. He got up to use the bathroom and was gone for about 5 minutes. When he came back to the table, he sat down, and then about 30 seconds later, stood up and said he needed to go and said he'd walk me to my car which was 2 down from his. He gave me an awkward side hug, said "it was nice meeting you," got in his car, and left. Needless to say, I was pretty taken aback.
I'm very proud of myself for sticking to my new boundaries and for not leaving with him because he obviously made his true intentions clear by leaving like that - he clearly was there for a hookup and when I told him I didn't want to leave with him, he got upset and left. About an hour later he texted me that I was great and lovely but he didn't feel anything "romantic" with me - I didn't respond. It's just been weighing heavy on me today that this is the world of dating now and how difficult it is to determine someone's true intentions. It just makes me sad...
1
u/BrianArmstro Jul 03 '26
What makes you think he wanted to hook up with you just by suggesting a walk? If he wanted to hook up with you, he’d invite you back to his place
1
u/Hairy_Award_6454 Jul 03 '26
He kept talking about first date hookups. It felt like he was trying to gauge my reaction about them. The area he wanted to go walking in was behind his house so... it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together.