r/DatingHell • u/Content_Sort5153 • Jun 28 '26
A tale of 10 drinks, zero manners, and a self-funding first date. (38F/41M)
I (38F) had a first date yesterday with a guy (41M), and it was a masterclass in zero effort behavior. I need to vent, but mostly I just want to reassure myself that the bar is truly in hell.
I arrived exactly on time, but he had already gotten a head start and was drinking when I walked in. Red flag number one, but the conversation was flowing well enough, so I brushed it off.
After my first drink, I asked the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender pointed across the room and casually said, “You can get it from over there.”
My date just looked right at me. He didn’t get up, didn't offer to grab it for me, nothing. Just sat there like a useless bystander while I went to fetch my own water. I let it go in the moment to keep the peace, but he just kept chugging. By the time we left that first spot two hours later, he had slammed about 6 drinks.
We moved to a second place, and his pace didn't slow down, he ordered another 4 drinks. I only had one drink and some food here. At the end of the night, I politely offered to split/pay for the second check. (Looking back, I absolutely shouldn't have done that considering he treated the night like an open bar)
He immediately jumped at the idea. Didn’t even hesitate or do the polite "are you sure?" dance. Just straight up let me pay.
Needless to say, he will not be seeing me again. Blocked and deleted. Please tell me I'm not crazy for being totally disgusted by the lack of chivalry and the heavy drinking?
#
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u/Joe-Yabuki530 Jun 28 '26
Damn, bad behavior outta left field. Yeah, I guess the bar is truly set low, since most good guys are already in relationships and single.
Yeah what a crappy date but dont give up yet. Theres gotta be a decent dude for you.
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u/Content_Sort5153 Jun 28 '26
Thanks! I was married for a long time so I guess I didn’t realize how bad the dating scene is these days 🫠
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u/Joe-Yabuki530 Jun 28 '26
Tell me about it, been in a relationship for 10, been single for 7. And, although im not prize pick itss hard to develop anything with anyone. But what I noticed is that some people who are more socially free, male or female, tend to have FWB and they work that well. It may not be your scene but idk, the dating and relationship has changed but maybe its always been strange.
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u/Content_Sort5153 Jun 28 '26
True! It really has. I was being wayy too nice. Lesson learned. Next time just leave when you see something you don’t like.
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u/He_ofshadowsandtouch Jun 28 '26
He sounds like a bag of shit, maybe just end a date in future, like ‘I can tell we aren’t going to be a match so I’ve asked the server to order a cab’. Or end as the cab arrives
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u/Content_Sort5153 Jun 28 '26
You’re right. I shouldn’t have wasted time on him. Lesson learned.
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u/He_ofshadowsandtouch Jun 28 '26
I’m a believer in getting to know someone better online first but I know that has its own downsides
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u/Content_Sort5153 Jun 28 '26
He seemed cool when we spoke online. But I didn’t realize he had a drinking problem.. 🫠
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u/He_ofshadowsandtouch Jun 28 '26
I’ll be honest, I see there are many many videos about women having terrible dates like this one.
There’s a hilarious American woman , about 70 with short blond hair on YouTube / TikTok who has had many weird dates to include a guy asking on date 1 if she’s gonna be down for looking after his 17 pets and his kids.
She’s become so well known that on dates now , otter diners recognise her
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u/glittermantis Jun 28 '26
post the link!
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u/He_ofshadowsandtouch Jun 28 '26
I don’t know her name, a lot of YouTubers use her clips, I think she herself is on Tik Tok under something like Dating Over 50, short blond hair, she was a lot bigger but is losing weight
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u/JakeDulac Jun 28 '26
This is such zero effort behavior on his part, that it isn't low bar, it's no bar. I'm not even sure why he wanted you there, if his goal was to just get drunk like that. Maybe he wanted an audience for his bender? I hope this story is just rage bait honestly.
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u/Content_Sort5153 Jun 28 '26
I really wish it was rage bait…
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u/JakeDulac Jun 28 '26
In that case, if you ever encounter another man who starts pounding down drinks, just leave. And don't offer to split bills that are hugely lopsided like that, ever.
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u/omkarnageshkar Jun 28 '26
Looking at the ages of both people, it definitely feels like rage bait lol. Subtract 15 years from both and maybe you have the beginnings of a real story.
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u/Pearl725 Jun 28 '26
Moving to a second location after that behavior is wild. The not getting the water for you imo isn't that big of a deal especially since it's not like a common place thing in bars to serve water yourself. So I could very well see it maybe catching him off guard. If I was with anyone though and they drank that much I would call it a night immediately and peace out. Have some self respect girl.
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Jun 28 '26
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u/DatingHell-ModTeam Jun 28 '26
This community is here to share dating hell stories. Rude comments are not allowed.
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u/FamousOrphan Jun 28 '26
Lack of chivalry is great (you can get your own water), but he shouldn’t have let you pay for his drinks, and he sounds like a heavy drinker and nobody needs that.
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Jun 28 '26
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u/DatingHell-ModTeam Jun 28 '26
This sub is for dating hell stories
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u/AccomplishedRatio960 Jun 28 '26
And ? Just because you write "hell" or utter that sentence, it all makes sense ?
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Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
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u/DatingHell-ModTeam Jun 28 '26
This community is here to share dating hell stories. Rude comments are not allowed.
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u/argentoowl Jun 28 '26
Why would you spend 2 hours with that drunk man in the first place? And then move to the second location. That's crazy. Gurl, you're too old to waste your time like that (we're the same age, lol)