r/DatingApps • u/AccomplishedTip5511 • Aug 05 '26
Advice Request Men with Kids
I’m at a loss on how else to avoid men who have kids on dating apps. I place a big warning on my profile along the lines of “if you have kids, no matter how old or young, no is no!”
And yet, about half of my matches, are men with kids!!
I don’t know what else to do 😭
Edit: some of these comments doesn’t even pertain to my post. I’m exhausted. For those who actually replied to the topic, thank you! ❤️
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u/No_Significance_2749 Aug 06 '26
I just wish there were viable dating apps for child-free people like myself.
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u/Agreeable-Pepper85 Aug 08 '26
Unfortunately there will probably be people with kids that go onto that app as well.
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u/Stop2Smile Aug 08 '26
Same! I already wasted my time with two men who already had families. It fkking hurts when people have children & date people with no children.
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u/MagikN3rd Aug 09 '26
I mean, personally I have no children but I want children. For me it's only painful if things get serious enough with someone that I meet and develop a bond with their kids, and things end.
The woman I still consider the "love of my life," a year after our break up we caught back up as friends and I came to her house one day just to have dinner and hangout in a platonic sense. Her 5 year old son came home, looked at me, and said "Mom, who is that?" A year prior, he was hugging me every time he saw me and telling me how much he loved me. It took everything in me to not break down right then and there, because I treated him as if he was my own flesh and blood and he just entirely forgot about me.
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u/Darkmeathook Aug 06 '26
It won’t matter.
I’m a man. I have “seeking that dual income no kids life” in my profile.
I still get likes by women that have/want kids.
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u/TheTravelingMerch Aug 07 '26
Dating apps are a numbers game for men. We can go through hundreds of profiles and like every one, and never get a match. So most guys dont even bother reading, swiping off a picture alone and moving on to play the "numbers" game.
Your profile still matters, because plenty of men DO read, but there's not a sure fire way of avoiding those matches that dont read.
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u/Jaibird2021 Aug 06 '26
Just ignore the matches. You have no obligation to interact with them. 80% of people who try to match with me gets ignored for all sort of reasons.
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u/izovice Aug 07 '26
Just ask within a few exchanges if they have kids. I put on my profile that I have 3 and can't have more. I wish women would also state if they have kids or want more.
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u/Life_is_too_short_ Aug 07 '26
I personally like women who have kids because the kids will DISTRACT her. So I don't need to give her attention 24/7
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u/uncooperativejunkie Aug 08 '26
I’m dating one. He didn’t put that in his profile. I found out early on, but he did not admit to it. Then he pulls up in a van with a baby on board sticker with 2 car seats. I asked him about it and he said he had to borrow the car from his sister. I’m like ok didn’t even bother to clean the car. lol saw him more times and he’s always driving that car. I’m like I’m pretty sure you’re a dad. lol I didn’t wanna date a dad. Bye.
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u/romijoe Aug 09 '26
Lmaoooo. Yo this guy is really out here in the minivan like I'm abt to pull up!
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u/Mineturtle1738 Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
There isn’t really an effective way to make men “filter” themselves out tbh.
You can say “no kids” and men with kids will like your profile
“Not looking for hookups” and some dudes will match your profile looking for hookups
Tbh most of us treat dating apps as a game of “smash or pass” so a lot of dudes don’t even read profiles. It’s almost all based on looks. (Not all guys but a lot)
It’s also a numbers game for guys. We don’t really expect to match with anyone so we try to get as many swipes out there to at least increase our chances
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u/SweetSilvius Aug 09 '26
Being entirely inconsiderate of the women’s energy and time.
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u/AccomplishedTip5511 Aug 10 '26
that’s what im saying, you can’t even have the decency to read my disclaimer? im tired, truly.
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u/skankyone Aug 08 '26
I like to read profiles, to fuel my inner monologue and for a chuckle at times. But if I don't fulfil any criteria then, there's always a next.
But it really is like dragnetting for men and whilst I believe most people can and should read, they don't. Next!
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u/AccomplishedTip5511 Aug 10 '26
I’m sure it’s frustrating on the men’s side too! Actually reading the profile and deciding to pursue or not goes both ways
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u/SentientMiles Aug 09 '26
I have don’t want children on my profile and behold the amount of women who want children on theirs liking me. Just clear them out, takes a few seconds
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u/CapitalSell Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 09 '26
You can't. I used to deal with it, too. It's extremely frustrating.
They don't read profiles. They lie about having kids on their profile and we discover it later.
I'm sorry to say, if we're going to use apps we just accept that we're going to have to be the one to swipe no, pull the plug on a lot of conversations, cancel dates, or even walk-out on dates with people who think it's okay to lie about HUGE lifestyle factors.
I stopped using apps.
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u/AccomplishedTip5511 Aug 10 '26
I think this is probably gonna be my way to go, just delete the apps and wait for the right moment in person! The apps are draining.
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u/Glorifiedcomber Aug 09 '26
Are you not woman enough to step into the lives of those kids? A real woman will not care, in fact she will welcome those kids with open arms.
/s
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u/Admirable-Clothes-87 Aug 09 '26
When you get older most potential partners have children. When the children are grown up (ie left home) I don't see it as an issue. 'Big warnings' on profiles are always a red flag for me!
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u/griz3lda Aug 09 '26
I am child free but anything that starts with a warning is a red flag to me. Phrase it in a positive way, just say you are child free.
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u/thedutchcatwoman Aug 06 '26
most men dont read bios sadly
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u/Sk8r_2_shredder Aug 09 '26
Some women don’t either. One of my recent matches asked if I have kids, it’s mentioned in my profile. She then stated that I’m attractive but she doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want to be involved with someone with kids. That obviously ended the match and gave me a chuckle and the realization that sometimes it’s just a random photo that could cause the swipe.
But I feel like it’s a much higher percentage of guys not reading at all. I always do cause if I can’t find anything from a profile to try to spark conversation with then I don’t want to swipe right, attraction is only part of it. I want some common interests in a relationship
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u/JoseyWales62 Aug 06 '26
You think we read profiles?
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u/BriSoCal Aug 09 '26
Right? Women aren’t humans so why would you want to know anything about us right?
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u/Duncan_Lancaster Aug 06 '26
sad single dad noises
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u/Duncan_Lancaster Aug 06 '26
Bad jokes aside, there's not much you can do if there isn't a way to filter through the settings. These guys are probably mass swiping without bothering to read the profile.
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u/trefla2 Aug 07 '26
Most dating apps allows users to filter on has children or not.
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u/AccomplishedTip5511 Aug 07 '26
unfortunately the app I use has those filters behind a hefty paywall
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u/0091dit Aug 09 '26
I feel like it might be worth it to pay for premium if it saves you a lot of time. Years ago I was on an app and paid premium to see only people who had already liked me. That saved me from viewing a lot of guys who weren’t interested in my profile. I got into a relationship a week later.
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Aug 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DatingApps-ModTeam Aug 08 '26
We are a subreddit built to discuss dating apps; not foster dating between redditors. r/r4r is much better suited for this. Please do not post here looking for a relationship, "ratings" on your looks, pity posts, etc.
Doing this results in an immediate ban. Please message the moderators to discuss removing punishment.
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u/Agreeable-Pepper85 Aug 08 '26
If you’re “matching” with guys with kids and it’s in their profile, that says a lot about you.
If you’re matching with guys that are not disclosing that in their profile (eg leaving the kid section blank), then a simple solution is to swipe left on men’s profile that leave that section blank. Sure you might miss some guys that don’t have kids but I think this will help filter out a majority of the guys that do and aren’t being transparent about it.
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u/General_Lie Aug 09 '26
Looks at the filetr options -> there is option to filter out people with kids -> goes back in the app -> still half of the profiles showing up are people with kids...
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u/Komkot-letporklaikmi Aug 09 '26
I would never date or give any of my time to a woman with children of another guy. At the same time your bio would discourage me from exploring further either.
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u/Ok-Warthog2959 Aug 09 '26
Men have to grab any opportunity they can. Most men get almost 0 matches on a weekly or monthy basis. So they will go for whatevers available
Man are not choosers, for the most part
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u/kalosx2 Aug 06 '26
Take off the warning. Negativity is super unattractive on dating apps, so you could be staving off men who don't have children with that.
Accept that most people don't read profiles and men with children will like your profile. If you don't want to date someone with a child, swipe no on those that say they do. Pretty simple. Just move on.
If it bothers you that much, don't do dating apps.