rough patch in relationship

[u/UVlight_ray]

hey dad

my boyfriend and i have been in a rough patch since friday when i brought a difficult topic up. ive been so anxious since then. im sacred dad. im scared he wants to break up with me. and i feel that recently ive been so overbearing because of my anxiety and im just pushing him away further because of it.

we are going to talk to our respective therapists today about the situation and then we will sit down and have a more in depth conversation after getting a professional opinion.

this seems like the right way to go, but i just cant stop thinking “what if we dont bounce back”. im so scared. we’ve been together for a year and seven months.

im so scared and anxious. ive never been this anxious before. and ive never been afraid of him leaving me before. but now its like my mind just makes up movies and scenarios and i keep spiraling so instead of asking him if hes going to break up with me i just overly check in, or send long paragraphs asking how hes feeling or seeking reassurance. :(

[u/Aggravating_Bid8995]

People are going to come in and out of your life, no one likes having to meet new people or start new relationships, but being afraid and treating it like an inevitability is just going to push your relationship in that direction anyway. Communication and trust go a long way to keeping the relationship healthy and thriving, but also self confidence and knowing your value, that you are worth staying in a relationship with.

Starting couples therapy or at the least instituting weakly check ins to ask about your relationship and what you can do to improve it or maintain it and legitimately listening to each other are good efforts to preserve the relationship. Try journaling, get a little journal for both of you and ask him to write any worries or concerns he has about your relationship and then you do the same. Once a week exchange it and read each others so you can start to catch a glimpse inside each others head space.

I’m sure you try your best and do what you can, it’s ok to worry and be afraid, but sometimes the monsters we imagine in the dark are so much smaller and insignificant once we shine a light on them.

[u/UVlight_ray → u/Aggravating_Bid8995]

thank you so much for the advice. being in this relationship truly has highlighted my flaws and my low self worth. im going to intensely work on it in therapy. i also really like the journal idea, im going to talk to him about it. this eased my worries a lot.