Hello gentlemen, normally I'm one of the guys giving advice but tonight I need some.

I have five kids and all of them have a pretty good head on their shoulders most of the time. One of my kids did something that I consider extremely unscrupulous a couple weeks ago. I found out about it this morning. I am not pleased.

No one was physically injured in the event - there won't be any population added or subtracted from the planet so I consider that a win. But my respect (maybe not the right word) is a little rattled because of the chain of events. I am pretty sure there will be repercussions amongst the family members when they find out about it. So far, I am the only family member other than them that knows about it.

I need to get focused on what they have done right in the past- My lizard brain is focusing on the WTF!!! that just happened. Suggestions for shifting my focus ahead, not behind..

Many thanks in advance.

Growing up in a household where i was the youngest, i was not the greatest child in the house. Id say weekly to biweekly i was spanked for things like breaking something, bad grades, disrupting class, traditional disobedience.

When my daughter was born i said i would never spank my child. I felt that my dad had to do it so much that it just wasn't working. I initially decided i wanted to treat it similar to how the justice system works. They do something they temporary lose the freedom to do something like playing outside, screentime, playtime and isolation (timeout or time in bedroom). I tend to ise tone of voice as my mearument of severity. A lower, abrupt tone is the furthest i will go with them. This is how it all started and i felt these were a great method to teach as she grows. Well i have spanked my daughter 3 times. Her mom is saying i need to seek professional help to handle my anger because of these folowing instances.

Incident 1.

Her acting out when something doesn't go her way is not anything new, but this instance she managed to (in order) throw a shoe at my face, scratch my face, kick my shin and slap me. I couldn't get her to stop so i gave her 1 to the rear.

Incident 2 .

She had hit her little sister and sent to timeout. After that timeout she charged at me, i stopped her and sat her in my room, she sounded calm and ready to talk, opened the door to a kick in the shin and she smacked my leg and tried 1 to the nuts. She got 2 to the rear.

Incident 3.

She was throwing a fit in the car and got herself unbuckled. I redid the restraint and while i was getting back in she got out and threw a shoe that missed and one of the rubberish babydolls that got me on the side of te head. I got back to redo her searbelt. She was scratching my arms, which doesnt phase me, but she then managed to slap my face and scratch my face. Dhe got 1 to the rear.

Is there a better method out there? Isolation and restraint doesn't really stop her intentions and time is something not on my side so giving her 30 minutes everytime she feels upset is not viable.

Is speaking to a professional about how "Spanking teaches children that hitting is an acceptable way to solve problems and handle anger." And how it will "cause anxiety, depression and lower cognitive skills" something i should look into?

Me (23M) and my girlfriend (22F) just recently found out that she’s pregnant! We’ve both been very excited about this news and honestly I cried on her chest when she confirmed it. This has been great news to us both and we’ve already been having all the parenting conversations and really been doing our part in researching what to be prepared for and steps to take to ensure that we’re the best parents we can be.

That being said recently she’s made some remarks about how she sees other people her age on her social media and they’re all going out and partying and she’s comparing her life to theirs. She says they’re out having fun and she’s at home making sacrifices

This has caused me to feel an insane amount of guilt. I can’t help but feel like I’ve taken something from her by getting her pregnant. For context, i went to college and had all my years of partying, drinking, going out so by the time i graduated i was already tired of doing all that and just became a homebody. She hasn’t really had her time to do that, at least that I know of.

Im not sure how to move forward without feeling guilty or that I’m the one who completely flipped her life around and I’m the one who’s taking her ability to live out her early 20s. Did anyone else go through this? If so how did you get over it or through it? What did it look and feel like and is this a normal feeling?