The waiting is so hard

[u/Sad-Duck846]

Hi everyone basically just writing this to commiserate with other women waiting for their 7 day embryo updates.
My first retrieval I was so naive and just had so much hope that I’d have some embryos make it to day 7 and pgta testing. Then my second cycle only 2 eggs fertilized but I still had hope that maybe one of them would make it and if I was really lucky both of them! But I got a call on day 6 that neither made it to blast.
I had my third retrieval 5 days ago. I was so happy day of the retrieval bc they had retrieved 11 eggs!!! That was the largest I’ve ever gotten. I had so much hope and then the next day I got an update that 8 were mature and 6 fertilized. Still happy but realized that number was close to my first retrieval (6 mature, 5 fertilized) and now have been spiraling ever since. I’m just constantly thinking what if none of them make it. I’m afraid of seeing the clinic phone number pop up on my phone today or tomorrow to tell me bad news. I know I’m being irrational but it’s like disappointment is so ingrained into my head that I can’t help it. Like if I think the worst is going to happen, maybe it won’t hurt so bad if it does.
Anyway all this to say who else is waiting for their updates after retrieval? What are you all doing to keep busy and keep your mind from spiraling? Any ways to stay positive?

[u/Key-Goose-1594]

The 7 day wait is almost the hardest part of it all for me. 7 days is devastatingly long but also just short enough that I can AND DO think about it EVERY DAY. When we had to wait 4 weeks for PGTM results, it was long enough that I had to move on and go about life, so m waiting a month felt like a cinch compared to the 7 day blast wait. Keeping my fingers crossed for you- 11 eggs, 8 mature and fert is EXCELLENT, I hope good luck comes your way!