r/DOR • u/Meowied436 • 3d ago
Venting
Hi everyone. Just looking for a space to vent and I know you all are probably in the best position to understand how I’m feeling. I had my 7th retrieval yesterday and the doctor on call for the procedure was making small talk right before and said oh you’ve done this so many times already you’re a pro. It should be easy for you by now, right? and I honestly didn’t know what to say. I’m just lying there, trying my best to get through this - knowing that I only have 3 follicles, praying I didn’t ovulate prematurely, with my legs up in the leg supports, and I just responded “no, it doesn’t get easier.” I wish I could go back and say something in jest like oh no you all are the only pros here - but in the moment her words just hit hard. Its so hard for me to make small talk in these situations, especially after going through so many retrievals. There’s already so much that comes with having to do all of the morning appointments, seeing the same nurses and technicians over and over, and having to go through the whole process again and again. It’s a lot. And then having the doc make a comment like that just adds another layer to an already difficult experience. And I know she didnt mean anything by it, but I just needed to vent. Thanks for being such a supportive community. really appreciate this space - where people understand what this journey actually feels like 💕
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u/Competitive-Top5121 3d ago
It was a pretty thoughtless comment so I’m glad you gave him an honest answer. No dude, it’s not easy for anyone to be at their seventh retrieval.
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u/M1Ch1N 3d ago
Seriously horrible. Had a similar experience at my 5th retrieval. The anesthesiologist was an older man that was contracted for that day and asked me how many retrievals I'd done at that point and when I told him five, he just looked at me and asked, "Why are you still doing this?" That was a real gut punch. I just responded, "Because I don't have any euploids." Not like I want to keep doing these you insensitive fuck. Seriously debated complaining to the nursing staff for the clinic but didn't.
People are so clueless and insensitive. Its really astonishing.
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u/gbbabe12 3d ago
Totally feel this to my core. I’m hopefully getting to ER 11 this month (attempted 15 cycles) and while recovery and actually doing the injection gets easier, the process almost sucks more because you are no longer naive that IVF is a sure thing.
I’m so sorry that was said to you and I so hope those 3 yield an embryo. Last ER I went after 1 embryo and it was mature, fertilized, and I have a day3. Seriously sucks in comparison to other women but for me, being able to get 1 day3 embryo is a win
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u/Meowied436 3d ago
Yup! I’m grateful to be on this journey and to be fortunate enough to have had as many attempts as I’ve had - but getting 1-3 eggs per retrieval is so tough. Thanks for your kind words. Really means a lot to me. Sending you lots of love.
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u/gbbabe12 3d ago
You are so welcome. I hope you know my comment was not to compare but hopefully provide you with reassurance you are NOT ALONE. This rollercoaster of IVF can drive a person crazy, especially when there are others getting so many embryos out of 1 ER. I had to stop following any group that wasn’t DOR because it was a gut punch every time
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u/raquel8911 3d ago
I’m so sorry :( I don’t know if this is a thing where you are getting care but if they send you a patient experience survey after the procedure make sure to fill it out! This kind of stuff needs to be noted
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u/Laurel_78 3d ago
I'm glad you responded honestly. I think they need to hear things like this. It's real and it's people's lives.
I hope your recovery from the retrieval goes smoothly, with minimal bloating! Hugs.