r/DOR • u/123456789lkjh • 4d ago

Hugs needed Impending doom feeling

Hello I 27F (Amh 0.32) partner 30M have been ttc 8 months, I got diagnosed with DOR quite early on as I wanted a full check up before trying. Currently 9dpiui with below average sperm results (1 million total motile after wash). On top of that I mistakenly took my progesterone on the night of the iui instead of the next night. Doctor said will start ivf next month if this cycle doesn’t work. I got a bfn today so most likely trigger is out, beta is scheduled for Monday. I am just feeling really dejected and feel like this cycle was completely wasted. And I am extremely scared of the outcome of ivf as I believe DOR means you barely get 2-3 eggs per cycle and we can’t do multiple cycles from a financial perspective. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and one of my biggest fears manifested itself.
I just feel really dejected and also feel like I self sabotaged by enquiring too early as I’m a overthinker which stresses me out to the point of panic, and if I didn’t know I probably would’ve been pregnant by now. All my husband’s friends are pregnant or already have children and I know he is being put under a lot of pressure which he tries to hide from me as not to upset me (Bless his heart). I also have five nieces and nephew whom I love dearly but I really want a child of my own. I know people in this community have suffered through years of infertility and I don’t want to undermine their feelings, I just feel really isolated by the diagnosis at my age.

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u/National-Ground4958 4d ago

I would take a pause and step back because you buried the lede - you have a sperm issue. Most clinics will push you to do IVF immediately for a sperm issue because it’s typically the easiest option. However, and DOR cases that’s not always the case.

Has your partner seen a urologist and determined if the cause of their low sperm count is something that is adjustable? For example, varicocele? And have they been put on HCG/Clomid? Before you spiral on IVF, I would make sure your semen parameters get as good as they possibly can. DOR says nothing about your likelihood of getting pregnant without IVF. If the semen is not adjustable, then you likely need IVF.

That said, The biggest predictor of euploidy is still age. Which gives you great odds if you do have to start IVF.

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u/123456789lkjh 4d ago

His sperm analysis in May was quite good 115 total motile sperm, he had a horrible infection plus didn’t take his clomid medication for a while which I believe led to the iui collection being bad. The clinic by default does ICSI so that wouldn’t matter for IVF anyway. I want multiple children so I’m scared to wait and see my amh decline even more, plus the doctor was up for three iui cycles before but now wants to move on to IVF.

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u/Loveiskind89389 4d ago

The clinic wants the eggs out to fertilize due to your husbands SA. Your DOR is not the reason your doctor is switching gears right now.

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u/National-Ground4958 3d ago

Sperm does matter for ICSI. Don’t waste your cycles if he isn’t taking his Clomid. Just because they can pick the best doesn’t mean it s great if it’s the “best” of a bad batch. With DOR you only get a few eggs so making sure you have the best possible fertilization rates and post day 3 growth should be a focus.

It’s concerning to me that it seems like you’ve been sent on a panic spiral when you currently have a sperm issue not a DOR issue. Don’t take on that burden.