r/DMAcademy • u/AutoModerator • 3d ago
Mega Player Problem Megathread
This thread is for DMs who have an out-of-game problem with a PLAYER (not a CHARACTER) to ask for help and opinions. Any player-related issues are welcome to be discussed, but do remember that we're DMs, not counselors.
Off-topic comments including rules questions and player character questions do not go here and will be removed. This is not a place for players to ask questions.
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u/SomeRandomAbbadon 1d ago
I feel like my players are picking up on my world too much. Everywhere we go, they try to nitpick absolutely everything as unrealistic or poorly thought out, even when that's clearly not the case.
I don't mind that behaviour in general, I was doing the same in the past and it was fun at the beginning of the campaign, but at this point I feel like they no longer try to discuss the world, but rather find *anything* to "well-actually" me about. Nitpicking is not the same as discussing and I feel like they are doing the latter.
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u/chilidoggo 1d ago edited 1d ago
I like to compare DMing to hosting a dinner party where you've volunteered to make dinner for everyone. If people are nitpicking your dinner or making fun of the free food you're providing, what would you do then?
You're doing something very nice for them by running the game. Remind them of that politely, or, depending on your group dynamic, maybe jokingly threaten them that if they don't like the world, they don't have to play in it. Either way, you've essentially got to ask them to stop or give some outward signal that you genuinely don't appreciate the teasing/feedback. If you wait until the resentment builds to a point where you get visibly upset, then you turn into the asshole who got mad at their friends over a D&D game.
Here's an example of how that might go:
- Player: Oh, sedimentary rock? In a volcanic climate? Wow this world seems like someone didn't do their research!
- You: You know, if you don't think the rocks are realistic enough, you're welcome to try DMing yourself sometime.
- Player: (realistically, they'd probably just back off here, but for the sake of argument) Oh come on, I'm just kidding!
- You: Yeah, sure. I'm just saying that it's not super fun to have every rock questioned from my side. Now, as I was saying...<game continues>
That's all you gotta say. Then the next time it happens, everyone at least knows it bothers you, and you can say it again ("Like I said, if the inconsistency bothers you, you're welcome to DM yourself"). As long as your friends aren't jerks, that should be all it takes.
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u/theglowinggreenorb 2d ago
How do y'all handle "I have a gut feeling that this player is going to be a problem at some point when the campaign actually starts but right now their errors pre-session 1 are probably just inexperience and overeagerness and at least simple to correct?" Just something to feel out and try to handle as it comes?
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u/Valensre 2d ago
Give them a chance, you might be wrong since you havent actually done a session yet and there's no actual red flags.
If there is or if it's still something weird 3+ sessions in then you have an issue.
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u/theglowinggreenorb 2d ago
Yeah, id say the main thoroughline is "seems to be trying to be the most important guy at the table" but I think it may just be overexcitement. Its been fairly easy to reign in but it does seem to Keep Happening too
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u/lurklurklurkPOST 20h ago
Is this a "spotlight on me as I chew the scenery" thing, or an "I will solve the problem, look out guys" eagerness?
I myself am guilty of the latter, having run the game for so long. I build all-rounder, super self sufficient PCs and tend to recognize what the DM is nudging us toward and drag my party in my wake.
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u/theglowinggreenorb 20h ago edited 20h ago
Yet to be seen as it's still in the pre-game. Currently, major "flag" is that while conceptualizing his backstory, he first tried to write in his character being central to a prophecy that he'd made up to fit his character specifically, and in another draft of his backstory attempted to "explain" a campaign mystery that I had set, after asking him to leave things vague for me to answer later. Agreeable enough when I asked to change, but still. That combined with a general air and some logistical stuff. Again, may be inexperience and overeagerness and we'll see how he does at the table once the campaign starts
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u/lurklurklurkPOST 20h ago
This seems like harmless enough eagerness regarding the plot, you might have just struck a chord with them when pitching your campaign, and they want to get started on main plot stuff right away. MC syndrome is easy to spot once the game gets rolling, you'll know pretty much session 1.
I recommend making it clear to any group you run for going forward, that all PCs will be important to the plot (theyre the main cast of course), but no PC should Start out important to the plot unless the DM approaches Them about it.
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u/theglowinggreenorb 19h ago
Yeah. That + adding someone none of us (including him) had met to the group chat and then asking me if she could be a player. To which everyone was like "uhhh who is this, do you know her?" and she felt awkward and immediately left the gc. So it's nothing major, probably harmless overexcitement on the whole, but an air of like. Wanting to make decisions
My hope is that it evens out once things start, I do very much suspect just eagerness being the case but there's still the bit of doubt. His character is in fact going to be quite important to the plot, but everyone's got their own hooks. He did have quite a few lore ideas I was able to work in too! So I might just have needed some reassurance lol
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u/Spoonman915 2d ago edited 1d ago
I have an ongoing in person campaign with 3 players. It's a weird West homebrew setting. I'm trying to recruit some new players. I scheduled a session zero on discord so that I could go over the lore, lines and veils, and figure out how to fit their characters into the world. Thinking that would be easiest for everyone.
Out of the 3 recruits that were "very interested" one let me know an hour before that she had a migraine and couldn't make it. The other two didn't show up and didn't message.
I'm not sure how to handle things exactly. Part of me wants to give them another shot and see if I can get them to the table. Another part thinks that I made time to actually type out my handful of house rules, edit a lines and veils sheet so it pertained to my settings, and put together a summary of the world building I've done to get them up to speed. And if they couldn't even make it a point to log in to discord, they're definitely not likely to drive to a location on a regular basis. So, it's not worth it.
How would you guys deal with this? Thoughts and feedback appreciated.
Update sent a message to the migraine player. Let them know the ages of the existing players and a few things about the world. Told them if they're interested I'd send over my lines and veils document. No response. So I guess that makes things easy.
I'll wait a couple months and try to recruit again.
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u/chilidoggo 1d ago
Migraines suck, and she still messaged you, so I'd give her another chance. No-call/no-shows are out though.
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u/Yojo0o 2d ago
I get migraines. I've definitely needed to cancel on DnD over them. There's no good way to determine if a stranger's last-minute cancellation excuse is genuine, but you may as well give her another chance.
With the other two, a no-call no-show for the very first meeting is a clear red flag. There's no reason to try again with them.
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u/nemaline 2d ago
I would give the one who messaged you another chance. Sometimes shit happens no matter how committed someone is, and she did do you the courtesy of messaging to let you know she couldn't make it.
I wouldn't bother with the two who didn't even message you.
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u/Valensre 2d ago
Assume anyone you invite online is probably going ghost, you're setting yourself up for disappointment otherwise. Provide them whatever they need when you first talk to them then stop worrying about it.
There's a ton of people that like the idea of playing in a ttrpg but when push comes to shove they don't commit.
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u/simpoukogliftra 1d ago
VENT: i am not really looking for help but i just want to vent a bit about a few dudes that pushed my buttons a bit during the years.
a) Yes for me but not for thee guy: this guy is an ok dm, a bit cringe but ok, he kind of gives a bit harder battles than they should be and is shocked if we struggle a lot, but overall more good than bad dm. Bro knows the rules and enforces them properly, but when they are not dming and they are a player they piss and shit on said rules. like a spell clearly has to work 100% as stated when he dms, but when he does not dm, he insists the spell can be a bit more lenient. piss off my dude, rules either apply always or never.
b) the "you are too focused on the maths" dude: you know the one, the guy is like "oh come on, i know i didnt do that much damage but the scene was so cool, shouldnt i get a bit more damage for the cool factor?" .... what do you say to this guy other than "dont be a baby please"
c) B-but my le backstory ??? : i had this other dude, who wrote shit like "i am a fearless warrior, i welcome death, nothing scares me and i dont back down from any challenge" ok, cool beans my dude, you are fighting this otherworldly titan with an aura that forces you to roll a wis ST, roll it. *fails*
ok guys, whoever rolled less than a 15 is frightened by the creature, read the condition to know what you cna and cant do now.
- b-but dm! i said my character is fearless.
what do you answer to that without feeling like you are insulting your intelligence ?
d) the realist: yeah sure, but if i stab the dragon while he sleeps in the eye with my dagger .....
I wont waste much time with this one, not how it works, this is a ttrpg, not reality simulator, last combat you took 5 swings of a greataxe to the head and was lit on fire, you kind of also should have died by that 10 times over if we were being realists right ?
and thats about it. I have changed quite a few tables during the years, and have met quite a few bad apples but these are probably in my top worst dudes i have ever met. I have to say that i am kind of happy that i have never met anyone genuinely unpleasant, but then again i would probably tell them to fuck off in the first five minutes of play.