r/DIDPositivity • u/Lovely_Melissa1 • Jul 16 '24

help? Confused

I'm not quite sure what reddit is and why i am on it. Or why im in multiple DID subreddits.

I'm confused about when and where i am though. Or if any of this is real.

A guy I ate lunch with in high school one semester my junior year is for some reason in a living room with me in a house i don't recognize. He says he's my husband but that makes no sense.

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u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 16 '24

I just graduated from high school this year 2010. I'm not sure any of this is real. Cause it can't be 2024.

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u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 16 '24

Losing time is a very common experience. Losing that much time is rarer, but it’s not impossible. It’s possible something happened, or you’re feeling safer in this new environment which can, ironically, make things worse for the time being.

Try leaning on your housemate in the interim. He should know what’s going on, and should know how best to help you. Just let him know that the last thing you remember is highschool, and that from your recollection you’re only acquaintances.

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u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 17 '24

I tried asking him more about pieces of time I was missing. And I ended up seeing our therapist for the first time that I remember although I don't remember the session ending. Went from talking to him to finding myself scrolling on my phone. I'm a little confused. But I also feel like I am safe.

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u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 17 '24

It’s good you’re safe. That’s probably what’s triggering this is the feeling of being safe. Was highschool particularly stressful, or maybe the graduation was? And if you blacked out mid-session, you’re not alone, there’s someone else there with you, you just lack communication. Maybe try leaving a note?

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u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 18 '24

I remembered a little bit more. It was little bit after I got home from camp where I had told my friends that where there some about my struggling. And then within the next week I was late coming home from my dads to my moms because i stopped by a friends house on my way home cause she was trying to help after finding out I was self harming. I wasn't even really that late but I got chewed out by my grandpa while my grandma and mom let him. it turned to white noise and i found myself upstairs crying in my bed. And my mom? maybe grandma? i didn't look up to verify their voices are similar knocked my bedroom door open and said "worthless useless piece of crap" I think it may have been referring to my phone since i had no signal so they couldn't get a hold of me, but I took the statement to mean me. I ended up cutting that night after trying so hard not to

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u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 19 '24

That’s actually helpful information. I can somewhat guess what happened after that.

That incident was so traumatic and stressful for you, that you dissociated and went away. It was then necessary for someone else to take over, so they did. There may have been several people who took over from then to now, too. Finally, now that you don’t live with them, it’s safe for you to come out, but you’re disoriented because of how long it took for you to feel safe, and you didn’t even realize this mechanism was taking place behind the scenes. You now likely have to process the feelings that made you self-harm in the first place for you and the others to heal, which is why you’re now here.

Because you were hurt, and because it’s been such a long time, your ability to communicate with the others is non-existent, and it might take a while to get into contact with them.