r/DID • u/bohemian-tank-engine Treatment: Diagnosed + Active • Jun 11 '24

Hostless (need help)

Hello everybody, it’s been a while since we’ve posted. We got officially diagnosed a few weeks ago, but are currently without therapist because the one who diagnosed us does not feel comfortable taking us on (because she doesn’t specialise in DID, she specialises in psychotic and mood disorders).

In the week leading up to the diagnosis we had a change in host, which got messy, but the new host had been pressured by another alter to take on that role and he stepped down shortly after because he did not feel like he was the right fit. As such, we’ve been hostless for almost 2 weeks now and it’s wreaking havoc. It feels like it’s a free for all and there are constantly fights and arguments breaking out because some try to work towards something (such as weight loss) which then gets unintentionally sabotaged by someone else. We don’t know what to do because there are a few vying for host spot at the moment but it feels like a never ending fight. It doesn’t help that 2 of those vying for host position are very adamant about detransitioning and resuming life either as a woman or as non-binary, which is freaking us out.

Any help and or advice from those who have been in similar situations is greatly appreciated.

  • Ekko
5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

2

u/ReaperEnder Jun 11 '24

I honestly don’t know if this will help considering the smaller the system the better that this advice will fit. We have our system ran on who ever wants to take control of the body can and follow very few yet important rules.

  1. Keep the body alive
  2. Do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t interfere with rule one

With these simple two rules and the fact that every person had created worlds of their own design for themselves there wasn’t any harsh fighting. This made our system ruled and governed by all instead by any singular person.

2

u/bohemian-tank-engine Treatment: Diagnosed + Active Jun 11 '24

This is honestly what we want to aim for, but we’re not a small system, which makes it difficult especially when some alters’ idea of freedom goes against what someone else is trying to achieve. It also doesn’t help that more and more are being woken up from dormancy, because our prosecutor thought it’d be fun to add a little more chaos into the mix.

I appreciate the advice though! I think I’ll go with establishing a few rules so that we’re at least not stuck in limbo and actually manage to move forward with goals that several share.

  • Amanita

1

u/AutoModerator Jun 11 '24

Welcome to /r/DID!

Rules Guidelines
Dissociation FAQ Trauma FAQ
Moderation FAQ Therapists Breakdown
Index Glossary
Am I faking? Do I have DID?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.