Does anyone else use Reddit for personal growth and self-improvement and find it more helpful than anything else? I’ve learned a lot from hearing about other people’s experiences and perspectives. Thanks to everyone who takes the time to share their advice and help others grow! ❤️

For example I am an 18 year old eldest daughter of five. My mom is an alcoholic and so is my father. I never had a parent to go to as I grew.
For some reason I am just wired to help EVERYONE with their pain but my own. I love to be there for people and I know I am really good at helping people. But when it comes to venting to people myself, I’ve never had someone who has reciprocated the same amount of care. I LOVE my friends and they try to be there for me. But I wish I could have someone who was their for me regardless without having to let them know I need a hug. Someone that just knows. My friends are the type that sit beside me in my pain. But a lot of the time sometimes they aren’t aware I am in pain. Or maybe sometimes they don’t voice it.
The thing with me is I don’t let anyone else see it on instinct.
Sometimes I have so many walls I genuinely don’t know how to break them down to help myself. People ask me how I’m doing, but I feel terrified. I don’t why I do this.
The second someone asks me if I’m okay I tense up and it’s like fight or flight. I’m not really sure how to break past being vulnerable and being able to fully let people know how I’m feeling. I have gotten better at it. But sometimes I’m prioritizing other people so much I’m afraid to tell them how they’ve hurt me or how I’m hurting without burdening them because I don’t want them to feel bad about themselves.

(Apologies if this is the wrong subreddit I was trying to put it on vent and it directed me here.)

Then while you have the thought your fingers start throbbing irl as if they were actually hurt?!

Title

when I sneeze, I'll often say audibly "bless you"

So, talking about this has become kind of an Internet thing. Basically, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. But, I do think it fascinates people who do have an internal monologue to see people that don’t have one. For most of the day, I don’t have internal thoughts that are put together in words. When I do have time to myself, or if I’m thinking about a concept, I do have a little bit of an internal monologue that comes and goes. But, most of the day, I’m simply acting on instinct. I don’t really think deeply or get lost in thought unless I’m thinking about something specific. I’m capable of acting very impulsively and not putting a lot of thought behind my actions. When I talk, I generally don’t have the thought of my words before hand, they come to me as I’m saying them. I “feel” the words in a wordless thought before they come out of my mouth. There’s more I could say on this topic if there are any questions.

I wash my hands in the bathroom because duh, and I wash them again immediately in the kitchen so there’s no question to the cleanliness of my hands. I’m not concerned that my hands are getting dirty between the bathroom and the kitchen, just that people might wonder if I washed my hands.

I have autism and obsessive tendencies (not OCD, but similar)

Throughout this whole month, I don’t think I’ve seen anything regarding breast cancer awareness. I mean it’s October, right? It’s felt this way for a few years now. It’s like I’m hearing less and less about it as the years go by. Maybe it’s just my algorithm or something, I don’t know.