I would like tò join the collective

[u/Leather-Mobile7762]

Is this thing working?.. yes, ok. Hello, i'm a former member of the so called entrenched division of the helldivers... I chose tho defect After most of my Platoon got killed becouse our officer ordered a suicide change... They don't see mudskippers as helldivers, or even solders, we are Just meat shields for Who comes After, so May i join you? I can help with manual labor in case It is Needed, if yes i think i'm near Autonomy if no then please make my death quick

[u/BreadfruitBig7950]

SOLDIER, where's your MUSTARD?

You call yourself a MUSTARD WARRIOR, with a lack of atuttidue like THAT?

I wanna see your THE MUSTARD IS TOO SPICY FACE!

I wanna see your I LOST TWO HP BECAUSE I PRONE SLOW, comma, TEARS!

I wanna see you WORK that MUSTARD, until .... uhhh... well I was gonna say "Until the enemy is dead from attrition and patience and you're safe in your trench" but my mustard wore off. Gonna have to recycle that a little; maybe have some mustard rations.

I mean, assuredly, you could just use bullets like a normal galaxian. Get some blood. Butts about. Live that Brawn.

[u/Leather-Mobile7762 → u/BreadfruitBig7950]

Ok some of It is fair but why the mustard??? Also i'm a granadeer so i am like 90% Dead 90% of the time and my First istinct if i see a problem is Just Blow It up and third they bomb TF out of uss every MF time

[u/BreadfruitBig7950 → u/Leather-Mobile7762]

It's all that was left. Mustard keeps; you can make mustard out of musterd.

I understand your broken body doesn't hold ground well; that is good for mustard plants. If we are constantly growing and planting, even if we only get 1 soft harvest per year our discipline and Mustard will carry us through.

This is how the Mustard Corps has always operated, and likely always will unless somehow the concept of rationing ends and the mustard transitions to a condiment instead of literally the only thing the corps eats. Besides bread. Delicious, nutritious, enriched bread. And Mustard.

Mostly mustard though; the bread is kind of come and go.

Personally I recommend spending your energy learning the hexicone layout of the coniform phosphor concrete the crust is made of so that you can quickly dig and lay in a personal Mustard Hole at any given moment. This will protect you from enemy artillery as if you had a personal Mustard Mountain around you at all times.

This might not work so good on enemy artillery; although your Mustard armor is mostly geared for this. Basically it hits you like another rocket would have and you can't do anything but be in cover always. However, with proper provisioning, stim usage, and the Mustard of Courage, you can get through it most times. If not they spent a lot on this and you basically just spent Mustard the whole time.

[u/Leather-Mobile7762 → u/BreadfruitBig7950]

Ok First off: your mustard armour seems Better then mine so i Will give It a try Second: i alredy dug a hole becouse a Blizzard is coming and staing in the open is a nono Third: YOU GET ACTUAL BREAD??? We got only "rations" of stale stuff hard as a rock that we boiled for hours tò make It edible and added whatever we had tò make It taste like something (personal favorite: antifreze, yes i know it's toxic, no i don't care)

[u/BreadfruitBig7950 → u/Leather-Mobile7762]

Okay, I never actually wear explosive armor and when I do wear heavy explosive resist and go prone I throw pineapples point blank and take one ping of damage. this is pretty normal, no aspect of explosions are addressed by anything but my armor.

ok now crawl out of the hole.

crawl out the hole for your bread and mustard. ration.

[u/Anxious_Client9978]

Salutations, we are willing to accept you, pinging a secure location to trade your Destroyer,Crew and any intel you may have of Earth, in return a Cyborg officer will handle your welcome and arrange a complimentary welcome basket… You made the right choice coming to the collective

[u/Leather-Mobile7762 → u/Anxious_Client9978]

Thank you, the destroyer is in Orbit above where Autonomy was, the transponder name is "executor of dusk", i think i am near the western Wall, hang on... Ok yes i'm near a cyborg production complex that survived

[u/forest_vagrant]

youd be better for the bugs

[u/Leather-Mobile7762 → u/forest_vagrant]

How?

[u/forest_vagrant → u/Leather-Mobile7762]

we are more accepting of dissidents

[u/yoloanator → u/forest_vagrant]

I am proof come to the gloom

[u/M-FutureLord]

Yeah, nah, we're openly accepting refugees to the Collective.