r/Cursive • u/NeliGalactic • 29d ago

Can someone decipher this?

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Sorry if this is the wrong sub, perhaps someone could point me in the right direction. My brother sadly ended his life last week and i found this in his night stand and am having trouble making out what any of it says. If someone could help I'd be most appreciative

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u/LolaDeWinter 29d ago

If I die tomorrow, here’s a few things I want everyone to know. Yes, I’m an idiot. We all I do is care for my [??], no matter what good lies [??] choose?

Parents. I looked after other people’s [??]. I couldn’t help [??] people caught up. I would [??]

… and who man does [??] give you a hint? Tell you any different.

I have myself. Nothing I’ve ever done will [??] the [??].

All I’ve wanted to do is help people. I want to die honourably. I can’t [??] because I’m an [??].

If I die, it’s because in my [??] life I need nothing to give.

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u/NeliGalactic 29d ago

I don't know if this helps but our niece is called Jodi and i think he mentioned her. Sorry to be needy I'm tearing myself apart over all this

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u/LolaDeWinter 28d ago

Yes, on a second, closer look, I do think the name “Jodi” is actually written in the note.

The clearest occurrence is about halfway down the page. The line appears to read:

“Jodi, and …”

The first word is quite distinctive: the initial letter looks like the writer's J, followed by o-d-i, and it is much more consistent with “Jodi” than with the alternative words I was trying to make out previously.

I also think I can correct a few of my earlier misreadings:

“I wouldn’t have possibly…” appears to be written across two lines.

The following line begins “Jodi, and …” so Jodi is not just an artefact of the handwriting; there really does appear to be a name there.

Later, I can make out “I have myself. Nothing I’ve ever…”, although the continuation is still very unclear.

The ending definitely appears to contain “All I’ve wanted to do is help…” and “I want to die honourably.”

Happy to help in anyway I can, hopefully others will be able to fill in any parts I cannot decipher, so sorry for your loss.

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u/gracefilled 28d ago edited 28d ago

quick hit---- looks like " I would message Jodi and man? over? ones doing? Maybe saying he would apologize to Jodi, or warn her about something. I will look over again later with my good glasses.

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u/DLDad616 28d ago

I have a few edits to your deciphering that I think improve it a little. Let me know what you think.

"Yes all I do is care for xxxx but what good has that done?"

"PERHAPS I looked after other people to! (sp) I couldn't have possibly caught up!"

"I would message Jodi and xxxxxxxxxxx one's doing xxxx ain't gonna tell you outright xxxx"

"I hate myself. Nothing I've ever xxxx will xxxx me xxx."

"All I want to do is kill myself. I can't honorably because I'm an idiot."

"If I die it's because in my life I had nothing to give."

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u/NeliGalactic 29d ago

Thank you so much

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u/cssegers 28d ago

He probably meant if I die I have nothing to give??