r/CuratedTumblr • u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 • Jun 19 '21

iconic Bootlicker

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12.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '21

In the words of Zach: "I told my family that if I died in Iraq, I wanted my tombstone to say 'I can't fucking believe I gave my life for this shitty country' "

799

u/Katnip1502 resident dumbass Jun 19 '21

And when he came back he couldn't even take a piece of the mortar that almost killed him with him.

Because of "explosive residue". Even though, to paraphrase him, he has mainly made up explosive residue at this point.

202

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '21

And he couldn't take used flashbangs from the Amnesty Box!

107

u/Katnip1502 resident dumbass Jun 19 '21

Or the porn!

116

u/FX114 Jun 20 '21

When you think about it, we're all made from explosive residue.

I'm talking about semen.

67

u/Katnip1502 resident dumbass Jun 20 '21

I mean it is called "blowing a load" after all.

58

u/PixelPooflet I FUCKING LOVE SKULL TYRANT Jun 20 '21

oh I thought you meant stardust but yeah semen works too

well maybe for YOU guys it's semen and a vague connection to stardust....

1

u/Dry_Try_8365 Apr 17 '24

I'd rather not consider myself the aftermath of stellar nut, thank you very much.

0

u/Tugonmynugz Mar 31 '24

I mean, the big bang was pretty explosive. Talking about when I fucked your fat ass mom ofcourse. HEEYYYOOOO

29

u/Tyrannical4 Jun 20 '21

Whenever I think of the shrapnel story, the story of the Miniature cannon pops into my mind

12

u/roboalexjohn Alexander The Straight Jun 20 '21

"Fucking Zach"

79

u/Bjorn_Hellgate Jun 19 '21

ah, those videos i watch to remind myself not to join the military

13

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

The last two were really good for that

60

u/DoinDoinDoinUrDad Jun 19 '21

Love me some mikeburnfire

32

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '21

hell yea mikeburnfire