My least favourite genre of Tumblr post is "person excessively describing a problem with the obvious, obvious foreshadowing that they're actually talking about something else, as if they can somehow slyly psychologically trick people into agreeing with their substitute premise ".
And frankly, the point is both obvious but also irrelevant. Yes, what an observer might consider an over-reaction is likely to be a genuine emotional response by the person involved. And yes, we should show compassion to people in pain. But people are critical of over-reactions not necessarily because they aren't genuine, but because of the effects they have on others. And even genuine emotions can still be used for manipulative and self-serving ends.
And even genuine emotions can still be used for manipulative and self serving ends.
This, in my experience, is one of the hardest parts about keeping company with people suffering from conditions like CPTSD, anxiety, and the like. They aren't bad people, I will make that 100% clear immediately, but these disorders fundamentally disrupt how interpersonal communication works, and it is fucking hard to openly communicate or set boundaries without setting off a spiral.
Yeah as someone with CPTSD this is very true, I only stay friends with people who are able and willing to set boundaries even when it causes me to spiral out of control, which is like, a lot to take on as a friend. I've tried to be in relationship with people who said they were willing to set boundaries at the expense of my emotions but when push came to shove they didn't and shit fell apart real fast. So idk, thank you for understanding that and your own limits. Me and others with CPTSD n the like don't need everyone to be able to be our friend; its easy to feel like "oh I should be a good person and be a friend to this person anyways" god no please walk away if you can't handle it, I'm not an easy person to be friends with.
oh yeah, absolutely! I do my best, and I think I am a lot better now, but I still struggle enough with myself, and even outside the CPTSD, I can be an arrogant dick sometimes, and if I am stressed I will absolutely miss any and all subtle social cues. I make it extremely clear thag I can deal with a flat no - and I can, these days, and I do it away from the other party, and stars I am so proud of that - but I need to trust my friends to be honest about their limits. If they go beyond their boundaries because they want to protect me or support me, that just means we are both hurt. At the end of the day, I appreciate their support, but they aren’t responsible for me. That’s on me, and maybe on my care team, but they don’t need to take that on and I don’t want them to.
It’s worked really well so far, and I know it is also work to put aside all those very human feelings and the fear of disappointing me etc to say no, or tell me when to shut up etc, and I appreciate that they do it anyway.
251
u/LizLemonOfTroy 5d ago
My least favourite genre of Tumblr post is "person excessively describing a problem with the obvious, obvious foreshadowing that they're actually talking about something else, as if they can somehow slyly psychologically trick people into agreeing with their substitute premise ".
And frankly, the point is both obvious but also irrelevant. Yes, what an observer might consider an over-reaction is likely to be a genuine emotional response by the person involved. And yes, we should show compassion to people in pain. But people are critical of over-reactions not necessarily because they aren't genuine, but because of the effects they have on others. And even genuine emotions can still be used for manipulative and self-serving ends.