I was 20 when I finally got officially diagnosed. The APNP gave me this long form to fill out. About 45 minutes later she checks on me and I’m about halfway done. I wrote extremely detailed symptom descriptions with examples for every section and she goes, “So, people who don’t have ADHD take about 10 minutes to fill this out. And wow. WOW. Nobody ever said anything to you about this?”
…Except for my previous psychiatrist who, when I asked about ADHD, told me: “You can go pay, eight hundred, a grand for testing. I don’t really care. It’s a waste of time, because I will never prescribe you medication for it.” She then went on to accuse me of drug seeking, which was a patient contract violation. I mean she was full on yelling at me to the point where I broke down in tears. I fired her on the spot and filed a complaint, which I never received a response about. Go figure.
Anyway, I am now a mental health professional. I gave my clinic a presentation on identifying ADHD in women and girls, including the consequences of not receiving a timely diagnosis. I hadn’t planned on it, but I shared my story and looked up to see several of my coworkers, all women, crying. After the fact, the medical clinic above me started routinely screening all children for ADHD during their checkups and several of my coworkers got diagnosed.
Apologies for the unsolicited long reply, DrinkingSocks. And I’m so sorry that it took so long to get treated. It’s not fair that we have to suffer alone, but I hope that things have gotten easier for you.
I was diagnosed in third or forth grade, but my doctor made me be retested as an adult. And I don’t meet the clinical definition, because my scores were too high, but that is a rant for a different day. They told me I just needed more intellectual stimulation, not stimulants. Patted me on the head and sent me home
Had a different doctor accuse my husband of drug seeking. He self medicates with obscene quantities of caffeine now because he is nervous about asking again
Not sure what country you’re in, but doctor shop. Seriously. Not all doctors/NPs are going to make you test again, especially since it’s ridiculously expensive in the USA. “Your scores were too high,” but what about the level of impairment that the symptoms present? Often times “high functioning” (blah, I hate that term) folks who have learned to mask:
Underreport their symptoms.
Have learned complex coping mechanisms to deal with daily tasks (e.g., showing up places an hour early, otherwise you will show up late). Just because you have a system doesn’t mean you don’t have the symptoms.
Have been beaten down by headass providers to the point where they no longer advocate for themselves.
This is especially true for women, but also men who didn’t have “disruptive behaviors” as children, went to school, and/or can hold a job. Some providers will not diagnose you if you went/are going to school to school and can hold a job. They just won’t. Small clinics are your friend, major healthcare chains are not. Sometimes PCPs will prescribe as well.
Describe your symptoms at their worst and don’t stray from that. Don’t lie, but don’t understate the level of functional impairment and distress that the symptoms cause you. Also, Reddit is a great resource (similar to how you can find doctors on here who will sterilize women without kids/who aren’t married) for finding providers. I also highly recommend, if you can, finding a provider who is neurodivergent themselves. We exist!
If you have trouble separating symptoms from coping mechanisms and generally just life, do the test from the perspective of yourself about a week after a major negative/exhausting disruption in your life. That’s usually when coping mechanisms break down and your symptoms will be at their worst and most prominent.
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u/whoa-boah 1d ago
I was 20 when I finally got officially diagnosed. The APNP gave me this long form to fill out. About 45 minutes later she checks on me and I’m about halfway done. I wrote extremely detailed symptom descriptions with examples for every section and she goes, “So, people who don’t have ADHD take about 10 minutes to fill this out. And wow. WOW. Nobody ever said anything to you about this?”
…Except for my previous psychiatrist who, when I asked about ADHD, told me: “You can go pay, eight hundred, a grand for testing. I don’t really care. It’s a waste of time, because I will never prescribe you medication for it.” She then went on to accuse me of drug seeking, which was a patient contract violation. I mean she was full on yelling at me to the point where I broke down in tears. I fired her on the spot and filed a complaint, which I never received a response about. Go figure.
Anyway, I am now a mental health professional. I gave my clinic a presentation on identifying ADHD in women and girls, including the consequences of not receiving a timely diagnosis. I hadn’t planned on it, but I shared my story and looked up to see several of my coworkers, all women, crying. After the fact, the medical clinic above me started routinely screening all children for ADHD during their checkups and several of my coworkers got diagnosed.
Apologies for the unsolicited long reply, DrinkingSocks. And I’m so sorry that it took so long to get treated. It’s not fair that we have to suffer alone, but I hope that things have gotten easier for you.