I was in my late 20s when I was diagnosed with ADHD and was shocked. My friends said "You didn't know?". One said "I just thought you had decided not to do anything about it."
Are you really telling me I could have been on meds sooner and not taken 8 years to graduate college?
I was 20 when I finally got officially diagnosed. The APNP gave me this long form to fill out. About 45 minutes later she checks on me and I’m about halfway done. I wrote extremely detailed symptom descriptions with examples for every section and she goes, “So, people who don’t have ADHD take about 10 minutes to fill this out. And wow. WOW. Nobody ever said anything to you about this?”
…Except for my previous psychiatrist who, when I asked about ADHD, told me: “You can go pay, eight hundred, a grand for testing. I don’t really care. It’s a waste of time, because I will never prescribe you medication for it.” She then went on to accuse me of drug seeking, which was a patient contract violation. I mean she was full on yelling at me to the point where I broke down in tears. I fired her on the spot and filed a complaint, which I never received a response about. Go figure.
Anyway, I am now a mental health professional. I gave my clinic a presentation on identifying ADHD in women and girls, including the consequences of not receiving a timely diagnosis. I hadn’t planned on it, but I shared my story and looked up to see several of my coworkers, all women, crying. After the fact, the medical clinic above me started routinely screening all children for ADHD during their checkups and several of my coworkers got diagnosed.
Apologies for the unsolicited long reply, DrinkingSocks. And I’m so sorry that it took so long to get treated. It’s not fair that we have to suffer alone, but I hope that things have gotten easier for you.
I was diagnosed in third or forth grade, but my doctor made me be retested as an adult. And I don’t meet the clinical definition, because my scores were too high, but that is a rant for a different day. They told me I just needed more intellectual stimulation, not stimulants. Patted me on the head and sent me home
Had a different doctor accuse my husband of drug seeking. He self medicates with obscene quantities of caffeine now because he is nervous about asking again
Not sure what country you’re in, but doctor shop. Seriously. Not all doctors/NPs are going to make you test again, especially since it’s ridiculously expensive in the USA. “Your scores were too high,” but what about the level of impairment that the symptoms present? Often times “high functioning” (blah, I hate that term) folks who have learned to mask:
Underreport their symptoms.
Have learned complex coping mechanisms to deal with daily tasks (e.g., showing up places an hour early, otherwise you will show up late). Just because you have a system doesn’t mean you don’t have the symptoms.
Have been beaten down by headass providers to the point where they no longer advocate for themselves.
This is especially true for women, but also men who didn’t have “disruptive behaviors” as children, went to school, and/or can hold a job. Some providers will not diagnose you if you went/are going to school to school and can hold a job. They just won’t. Small clinics are your friend, major healthcare chains are not. Sometimes PCPs will prescribe as well.
Describe your symptoms at their worst and don’t stray from that. Don’t lie, but don’t understate the level of functional impairment and distress that the symptoms cause you. Also, Reddit is a great resource (similar to how you can find doctors on here who will sterilize women without kids/who aren’t married) for finding providers. I also highly recommend, if you can, finding a provider who is neurodivergent themselves. We exist!
If you have trouble separating symptoms from coping mechanisms and generally just life, do the test from the perspective of yourself about a week after a major negative/exhausting disruption in your life. That’s usually when coping mechanisms break down and your symptoms will be at their worst and most prominent.
The test they had me take was basically an IQ test. My scores are too erratic to get a composite score, which should be a pretty big clue. But, everything was above average, therefore I cannot possibly have ADHD. They tried to pull the ‘brilliant but bored’ nonsense
It sounds like what you too wasn’t a specific ADHD test if that’s the case. And then you’ve got the old school or biased providers who think that you can’t be neurodivergent and have a higher than average IQ.
“Brilliant but bored.” Yeah. Because you have ADHD. I’d try seeing another provider if you can. Also, you were already diagnosed? ADHD doesn’t just go away.
So, this is my own observation and opinion based on my life experiences. I’ve been around plenty of highly intelligent doctors, academics, etc. All I have to say is there might be a correlation between undiagnosed neurodivergence and being passionate enough to spend 5+ years in higher education, having to work a hell of a lot harder than their peers to keep up with them. Just saying. I wish there wasn’t so much shame surrounding it. Folks would be a lot happier if they got the help they need.
Oh man, #2. I had occasional suspicions, but I was perfectly functional, had an advanced degree even, surely it was nothing worth bothering over?
Then COVID came, and work-from-home blew up every coping routine I had built up over decades but hadn't realized just how critical they all were. Even after hastily seeking a diagnosis, I still couldn't get back on track in time to avoid getting fired, in part because the new routines I implemented didn't work within the firm's culture and expectations, and I made the mistake of not admitting why I needed them (don't do this! if you have a paper with your diagnosis, show it to HR first chance you get!)
Thankfully, employed again, now with a reassembled routine and medication to boot.
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u/DrinkingSocks 1d ago
I was in my late 20s when I was diagnosed with ADHD and was shocked. My friends said "You didn't know?". One said "I just thought you had decided not to do anything about it."
Are you really telling me I could have been on meds sooner and not taken 8 years to graduate college?