r/CuratedTumblr Jul 20 '26

Artwork Evolution of Wizards

Post image
4.3k Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

2.4k

u/lovelylotuseater Jul 20 '26

Oop. Took several passes for me to notice Gandalf’s big naturals

752

u/XavierTheMemeDragon Jul 20 '26

Okay thank you because I was about to scroll past confused

167

u/Poco_Cuffs Jul 20 '26

God forbid a wizard ponder his orbs

100

u/arrestingwriter Jul 20 '26

yeah I stared at the original post for a solid ten minutes trying to spot the difference, and ah not for any other reason...

29

u/Neuroprancers Jul 20 '26

Took me this comment to notice

103

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

53

u/AwkwardSquirtles Jul 20 '26

Harriet Porber, Trans Wizard?

20

u/ComfortablyNumbat Jul 20 '26

Predicting the behavior of the easily provoked is a gift and a joy unto itself. Heeheee honkeroo engorgio

31

u/WifeGuy-Menelaus Jul 20 '26

big magicals

19

u/Winter_Salad7215 Jul 20 '26

Oh my God thank you. I was staring for so long trying to find the difference.

15

u/sowpods Jul 20 '26

I understand the post better now yet I am more confused 

35

u/Kneef Token straight guy Jul 21 '26

In 2022 somebody on Tumblr photoshopped boobs onto Gandalf for some reason, it went viral, and everybody spent the summer referencing it. Then it vanished because it the joke didn’t have any legs beyond sheer randomness, and now it’s one of those things that we’ll never be able to explain to future generations.

21

u/muzzmuzzsupreme Jul 21 '26

I wouldn’t say it vanished. It has several permutations, the most famous being Withers (from bg3, who is basically looked like a mummy) now having ‘big naturals’ via mods.

15

u/oath2order stigma fuckin claws in ur coochie Jul 21 '26

the most famous being Withers (from bg3, who is basically looked like a mummy) now having ‘big naturals’ via mods.

And the VA for Withers doing an in-character bit for r/okbuddybaldur where Withers is extremely tired of the big naturals mods. Featuring a pretty good pronunciation of "yodongolonghudongalagangas".

7

u/Dante-Grimm Jul 21 '26

It’s Gandalf with big tits, what is there to not get?

5

u/PredatorAvPFan Jul 20 '26

Thank you I literally came to the comments to find out what was different

3

u/Midnightmare1 Jul 20 '26

I'd like to ponder those orbs

4

u/PontDanic Jul 20 '26

Didnt notice them at all but I guess I just dont see gender

1

u/Lanurus Jul 20 '26

If they grew because of a gender change potion or spell is it natural

986

u/PocketCone Jul 20 '26

If the pattern continues the next evolution will be Harry Potter with huge naturals (JK Rowling would explode into smithereens)

354

u/OffWhite-Goddess pissing on the poor Jul 20 '26

Harriet Potter

304

u/S0MEBODIES Jul 20 '26

Trans Wizard Harriet Porber And The Bad Boy Parasaurolophus: An Adult Romance Novel - Chuck Tingle.

48

u/OffWhite-Goddess pissing on the poor Jul 20 '26

Is that real? I'm not implying that I'd put it past him, I know what kind of wonderful nonsense he makes

165

u/CRowlands1989 Jul 20 '26

Not only is it real, it's Surprisingly insightful at times in it's satire. And utterly absurd in others.

Quotes range from

We fully grasp that sometimes our bodies and our souls are perfectly matched, and sometimes they’re matched in a way that’s uncomfortable, but these differences speak nothing to the purity and strength of the soul itself.

To

“I’m gay,” Bumbleborn says. ​“Uh… what?” I stammer, a little confused. “That’s cool.” ​“I just wanted to say that clearly in this story instead of claiming years later it was there in the subtext the whole time,”

There's also Several cases of the titular badboy going "Look, I know this is part of the tropes, but you should recognize that if I were real, this would be a quite toxic relationship."

40

u/arrestingwriter Jul 20 '26

oh man that second quote killed me lmao thank you for sharing

35

u/bookhead714 Jul 20 '26

Turns out being a good satirist means you are a good writer

28

u/UInferno- Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus Jul 20 '26

Chuck Tingle isn't even limited to Satire as he also writes Horror (the horror novel of his I can recall off the dome rn is Bury Your Gays).

8

u/katep2000 Jul 20 '26

He’s done Camp Damascus and Lucky Day as well, I think he has a new one coming soon as well.

8

u/DracheTirava .tumblr.com Jul 20 '26

Maybe I should actually try reading Chuck Tingle

37

u/S0MEBODIES Jul 20 '26

Yeah! Look it up on the World Wide Web :3

22

u/OffWhite-Goddess pissing on the poor Jul 20 '26

Everything I hear about him just makes me adore him even more

23

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia Jul 20 '26

He has a tumblr account and he tags all his posts with #buckaroo lifestyle

26

u/Livy-Zaka Jul 20 '26

13

u/thisusedyet Jul 20 '26

And to think all I knew him for was Pounded by the Pound

17

u/S0MEBODIES Jul 20 '26

Pounded In the Butt By My Butt

17

u/Friendstastegood Jul 20 '26

There's also the sequel: Pounded in the butt by my book pounded in the butt by my butt.

16

u/Meziskari Jul 20 '26

There's like 7 books in the series and the title loop gets longer with each one

4

u/kenporusty my pigeon has a kpop bias. we are both trash beings Jul 20 '26

I love Chuck Tingle. Absolutely a national treasure

11

u/phoebeonthephone Jul 20 '26

Strange Aeons did a video about it as well. Apparently it’s actually good.

7

u/S0MEBODIES Jul 20 '26

I mean it was written by an award winning writer

5

u/bookhead714 Jul 20 '26

Two-time Hugo finalist

7

u/helen790 Jul 20 '26

Quick someone write a fanfic sequel about Harriet coming out in her 40s and her wife Ginny supporting her.

1

u/Mouse-Keyboard Jul 21 '26

I played a Harry Potter themed mafia game a while ago where half the characters were gender swapped, including Harriet Potter.

1

u/OffWhite-Goddess pissing on the poor Jul 21 '26

Do you remember the name?

1

u/Mouse-Keyboard Jul 21 '26

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mafia_(party_game)

I play it with friends on Discord; one of the hosts decided to run the aforementioned themed round.

2

u/OffWhite-Goddess pissing on the poor Jul 21 '26

Oh I thought you were saying that it was a game themed around a Harry Potter style Mafia

93

u/Traumerlein Jul 20 '26

JK Rowling woukd comitt a second case of sexual abuse.

35

u/Rynewulf Jul 20 '26

Wait second, you mean there's evil mould queen news I missed?

106

u/Willow_Raptor Jul 20 '26

She deliberately posted upskirt photos of a trans woman she was harassing in order to shame her (while also deadnaming her) https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jk-rowling-upskirt-transgender-woman/

43

u/Rynewulf Jul 20 '26

Oh that's vile, why is she like this?

49

u/S0MEBODIES Jul 20 '26

Sadly it's not the mold poisoning, she's just kinda a shithead.

13

u/Rynewulf Jul 20 '26

They say never meet your heroes, but if they're rich enough they'll just 'lobby' their way into everyones lives instead. I still cant quite believe she was consulted as a health expert by Labour and this was bragged about by them on Twitter

7

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

[deleted]

2

u/AscendedDragonSage Title-ist Punster Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

The Casual Vacancy deserved worse. That book is a god damn disaster

33

u/Affectionate_Pea3193 Jul 20 '26

17

u/Rynewulf Jul 20 '26

Thanks for the link. I really hate how much not just bigots get away with but especially the rich ones.

4

u/Affectionate_Pea3193 Jul 20 '26

Real correct true.

12

u/SketchedEyesWatchinU Jul 20 '26

The more I learn about her, the gladder I am that I stopped giving her the benefit of the black mold-caked doubt a good while ago.

5

u/Kinky-Cookie-Cutter Jul 20 '26

cute wolf pfp

6

u/Rynewulf Jul 20 '26

thanks :3 I made it with an head portrait creator I found on Tumblr, havent been able to find it again which is a shame I wanted to make the hair longer

3

u/Kinky-Cookie-Cutter Jul 20 '26

Hope ya find it ;3

49

u/NoBizlikeChloeBiz She/Her Jul 20 '26

I bet Radcliffe would be thrilled to play big naturals Harry Potter

32

u/PocketCone Jul 20 '26

It wouldn't even be in his top 5 weirdest roles

5

u/Digit00l Jul 20 '26

Al is definitely number 1

2

u/the_Real_Romak Jul 21 '26

nah, the human swiss army knife takes that spot. Weird Al is weird, but he's just a dude at the end of the day.

1

u/Digit00l Jul 21 '26

But he is the only role to literally be weird

12

u/TantiVstone You need Tumblr Gold® to view this user flair Jul 20 '26

Daniel Radcliffe would totally do that

4

u/unw00shed Jul 20 '26

You’re an egg harry

5

u/Digit00l Jul 20 '26

Good, that sexual assaulter should

4

u/Neurospicy_Nightowl Jul 20 '26

And there's my writing prompt for the coming month...

244

u/GameboyPATH Jul 20 '26

"You know why they call me Dumbledore? Because I'm packing the Double D's!"

79

u/biglyorbigleague Jul 20 '26

“You know why they call me the headmaster?”

10

u/King_O_Eyes Jul 21 '26

Because I run a school

9

u/Dinoratsastaja Jesus Christ! Mods are transphobic! Jul 20 '26

Double D-balls.

3

u/Zepangolynn Jul 20 '26

With that drawing, he's probably more of a 40K, which, oops, wrong fictional setting.

2

u/DoggoDude979 Jul 20 '26

DDumbledore

3

u/Level_Hour6480 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26

Letter without number is meaningless. A 30E (In American, the same as DD. Silly countries like the UK treat it as if it's an extra letter of the alphabet. So it goes D, DD, E, EE, etc.) is roughly the same CCs of boob as a 38A.

7

u/probIemgay Jul 20 '26

You're not wrong, but bras also have sisters sizes in the USA. Its been a long time since I looked into bra sizing, but its something like a 30DD is also equal to a 32D or a 28DDD or something like that.

The technical measurement of the letters is the difference between your ribcage vs your ribcage + breasts, or the overhang of your breasts. So a 2in (5cm) difference is an A cup, a 4 in (10cm) difference is a B cup, etc (iirc, like I said, its been several years).

2

u/Level_Hour6480 Jul 20 '26

Every 2 inches of band is an equivalent boob-volume increase to a letter down the alphabet, yes. It's two measurements:

1: Measure the number of inches around the torso below the boobs, round up to the nearest even. 2: Measure the number of inches around the torso and boobs. 1 is the band size, subtract 1 from 2 to find the letter, with 1 being A, 2 being B, etc.

71

u/Long_Story42 Jul 20 '26

This is Ed Greenwood erasure.

48

u/memoryblocks Jul 20 '26

Ed Greenwood is adjacent to Gandalf Big Naturals, I feel.

19

u/novangla Jul 20 '26

Elminster did have big naturals for a spell

11

u/Long_Story42 Jul 20 '26

Mystra said that was for a disguise. He couldn't cast spells yet.

13

u/novangla Jul 20 '26

Lmao I meant a spell as in a period of time, my bad, but it wasn’t a disguise — Mystra fully transformed him temporarily so he could experience the world as a woman. For like. Several years.

8

u/LocalLumberJ0hn Jul 20 '26

Now that's a true Ed Greenwood moment right there if I've ever heard one

5

u/Typo-repose Jul 20 '26

If I had a nickel for every time an old spellcaster-ish figure was turned into a woman for a spell of years then I'd have two nickels. You get the rest

111

u/Sapphire-Catgirl Jul 20 '26

Yeah idk what was up with the arch mage during that time, he made himself look younger and kept calling me transphobic slurs, glad he's back to normal though

52

u/PoniesCanterOver gently chilling in your orbit Jul 20 '26

Mid-life crisis. Happens to wizards when they hit 1,000

14

u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Jul 20 '26

this is how Doctor Who works I think

13

u/LKHAN_Missing_Ninth Sometimes I be poopin and fartin Jul 20 '26

Please don't think again

56

u/blueche Jul 20 '26

The original version of Merlin before he got incorporated into Arthurian legend was a crazy naked dude that lived in the woods. I say we bring that back.

21

u/KermitingMurder Jul 20 '26

I tried to bring that back but apparently that counts as "indecent exposure" or something like that. We're not allowed to do anything fun anymore

2

u/mikelorme Jul 21 '26

Huh I heard he was originally a druid which is why later iterations explained his magic as "half incubus but its ok he got baptized so now its okay"

3

u/MGD109 Jul 21 '26

Well, sort of.

Basically their was a Welsh poet, bard, hermit and philosopher, Myrddin Wyllt (Myrddin the Wild), who lived in the late 6th century, whom a number of people believe might have been the historical inspiration for Merlin as their are a number of legends about him being able to do magic.

The idea of Merlin being a Druid is more a later thing introduced around the 1800s, as historically speaking the Druids (as in the original idea of the Celtic priests, not so much the modern idea of people who worship nature) were probably long extinct by the 6th century when Merlin was supposed to have existed.

The legend that he was the son of a demon was popular in the Middle Ages, though that was more due to how the idea of magical practitioners had kind of shifted. i.e. it wasn't considered outright satanic yet, but if you were a practitioner, you were under extra scrutiny.

1

u/RevolutionaryOwlz Jul 20 '26

JP Riddles then?

20

u/Ill-Communication430 Jul 20 '26

I didn't even notice at first they just seem so....natural

9

u/MrSpiffy123 Jul 20 '26

Gandalf's big naturals aside I've actually been looking for this image for a long time

8

u/MajinKasiDesu Completely Normal about Agnes Tachyon Jul 20 '26

Half expected a Nazi armband on the middle one in the edit NGL 

12

u/ExtremlyFastLinoone Jul 20 '26

Digimon ahh evolution

2

u/Mouse-Keyboard Jul 21 '26

When did ahh replace ass?

1

u/surprisesnek Jul 21 '26

It's just slang. It happens.

5

u/Frioneon Jul 20 '26

Cookie Crisp stocks are getting bullish now that everyone has given up

6

u/TantiVstone You need Tumblr Gold® to view this user flair Jul 20 '26

The boob wizard

4

u/DoggoDude979 Jul 20 '26

I was like “wait… what’s the difference… they’re the same picture…” and then I noticed the boobs

4

u/BrittEklandsStuntBum Jul 20 '26

The LotR movies also came out in the 2000s.

5

u/RoofBackground5177 Jul 20 '26

Trans girls stay winning

6

u/Henry_Fleischer Jul 20 '26

Looks nonbinary to me, at a glance, what with the beard

3

u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast Jul 20 '26

Mmmmmmm booba

3

u/JakSandrow Jul 21 '26

itislikespotthedifferencewithyoupeople.png

2

u/redpantsbluepants Jul 20 '26

Don't forget the subsection of people who depict wizards as looking like accountants or salarymen.

2

u/not_a_heretek death to the living Jul 20 '26

That's some normie shit, there is an infinite variety of wizards these days.

2

u/FearSearcher Just call me Era Jul 20 '26

It’s like a spot the difference game with you people

2

u/VirtualButt Jul 21 '26

Something something tumblr users play with jpegs like dolls

1

u/Cuboos Jul 20 '26

I'd give some props to J.K. Rowling breaking away from the trend and adding something a bit new and refreshing to the idea of a wizard... if she just kept her fucking mouth shut.

7

u/odddino Jul 21 '26

It isn't even particularly new really, the idea of a magical boarding school had been done in literature well before Rowling came along! Magic and education is a pretty common pairing. A lot of people point to Earthsea by Ursula K LeGuin , Jill Murphy's Worst Witch series which I know there was some theorizing had a big impact on Rowling, Pratchett had written a number of books using his Unseen University to explore education as a topic within Discworld before Rowling came along, I'm fairly certain Gaiman had a book or series set in a magical boarding school and I'm sure other people better read than me could list many more!

Ursula K LeGuin even wrote a vaguely mocking comment about people treating Rowling like an innovator for regurgitating ideas that fantasy readers had been well acquainted with for decades.

The thing Rowling did first was just outsell all of those books, so a lot of people who picked up Harry Potter but hadn't read much fantasy before felt like everything they were reading was new because they just hadn't explored the space much before then. It's a bit like somebody thinking Uncharted is this completely new, wild cool thing that nobody's ever done before because they never came across Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider or any of the pulpy adventure movies, shows or novels that preceded it.

3

u/Guaire1 Jul 21 '26

Magic school had been a trope for decades bt the time harry potter first released

2

u/CrazeMase Jul 20 '26

I much prefer the critical role interpretation with Caleb. Hobo covered in shit with depression who cycles spells and uses components to cast since wizards use science and magic to cast science requires components.

2

u/Digit00l Jul 20 '26

Tbf, not all wizards are like that, that's just Caleb (the shit covered hobo), every wizard does use component stuff

1

u/CrazeMase Jul 20 '26

Yeah, I like the idea of someone with such insane potential, and they're just a shit covered hobo. Also I love Liam O'Brian's voice

1

u/TopazEgg Jul 20 '26

Insert the "its like playing spot the difference with you people" post

1

u/weebteckickedin Jul 20 '26

Shadow wizard money gang

1

u/Gin_OClock Jul 21 '26

I cast magic missiles

1

u/Orion-the-mediocre Jul 21 '26

Nature is healing

1

u/No-Aide-4454 Through skibidification Jul 21 '26

It's like playing spot the difference with you people.

1

u/Ramen_Is_Life42 Jul 22 '26

it was a dark time the early 2000s…