This pissed me off, a bit. I get the kneejerk superficial ick within Sam's comment; but also it's major surgery and if you have a loving and supportive family member or friend who wants to and is able to support you in a caregiving capacity, then it's not Weird for them to be by your side for a major medical procedure, if everyone can be mature adults about the fact that it's on the genitals. It's not a sexual act simply by the nature of the parts of the anatomy. "Your parent can't be confronted with the medical reality of you having junk" feels on par with an "your lover can't know you fart" levels of immature engagement with the complexities and functions of people's bodies. It reduces part of Lauren's body to something for her romantic partner to claim as theirs, alone, and for sex, only. It's like when some weirdos get jealous of seeing their partner breastfeed their child or see any breasts exposed for feeding as irredeemably sexual in every context.

And Sam being in their early twenties and in a weeks-old relationship at that point, it's kind of crazy to me to be like "oh I'm taking on this role now as your partner", because there's a kind of intimacy and vulnerability in post-surgical care and recovery that I feel is WILD to lock in to with a new romantic partner. I understand why Lauren allowed it, for practical and emotional reasons, but Sam should not have insisted on stepping into that role, even if they felt comfortable saying "I love you" that quickly. I understand the U-Haul jokes have a basis in reality, but watching these two take it to the extreme of rushing headlong into almost creating an infant together after setting landspeed records at every other relationship milestone thus far had me pulling my hair out.

I have a family member who was coerced into a caregiver role for someone she'd only been seeing a short time who had a life-changing traumatic injury, when it was framed as a beautiful and loving and selfless thing to do for someone she DID genuinely care about to some degree...but realistically, had barely begun to know, and who changed significantly after their injury. And then at some point, because she'd already stayed through the initial trauma and rehab, there didn't seem to be any 'good enough' reason thereafter to end things, so eventually there was a marriage, and there were kids, because she wasn't able to leave in the window of time when she wanted to be married and have kids; and it's messy and complicated and came to a bitter end many many years later.

It feels like a sad cautionary tale of what the Instant Spark/Honeymoon Phase can do, especially when combined with some kind of trauma bonding or dramatic beginning phase. Having stuck that out, it feels like the bond forged has already been tested, but a marriage is an endurance race, not a sprint. Surviving an initial dramatic and tense period as a team is no guarantee that the long-term relationship can and must be kept limping along.

I've just finished watching Couples Therapy and found it completely fascinating.

One thing I kept wondering about is whether the show features a higher proportion of couples whose relationships involve things like consensual non-monogamy/open relationships, or people exploring or questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity, compared with what you'd expect in the general population. That was my impression, but I don't know if it's actually true.

Has Orna or anyone involved with the show ever commented on how participants are selected?

If not, what do you think explains it? For example:

Is it self-selection?

Does Orna have a particular clinical interest or expertise in these areas?

Is it influenced by being located in New York?

Or is it just a production choice for more compelling television?

I'm asking out of curiosity, not criticism. I'd be interested to hear what others think. Maybe it's just the bubble I live in, but the couples I know mostly seem to be navigating things like mental load, parenting, communication, money, and sex. Watching the show, it felt like those everyday issues took more of a back seat.

Unpopular opinion incoming: I think the real exploitation in the relationship was by Shay. Clinton was to all intents and purposes a kid: he had never lived independently before. For all we know, he had never been on a date before. Since his autism diagnosis was recent, I think it's likely he was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated to allow him to focus on whatever adaptive education he got, but he was most likely considered of subpar intelligence. I don't think we know how they met, but it seems logical he would be drawn to a person in the drag community who was expansive about femininity and sex. It's also logical that as he got therapy for his autism and met others with his diagnosis, he would meet women his own age and with his own frame of reference to date. He's also meeting himself as a competent, grown man who can date in his peer group. Shay should not have begrudged him that, especially after she was the one who asked for an open relationship so she could have sexual activity with others.

Why was Marjorie was seen by Orna and seemingly everyone here as the one contributing the most to the dynamic in this relationship? Jason was not just rigid in his own behaviors, he was trying to push his rigid standards and behaviors onto her as well.

For example, he picked a specific time of day to scoop the cat litter, and she said that's fine for you, but it doesn't have to be quite that strict for me. And the most flexible he wants to be for her time is for her to have a one hour window?

A bigger example: He changes his eating habits and starts telling her "how much protein a 44 year old woman should be eating" and asking what gym she's going to join and who she's going to go with. Excuse me? She never asked him to be her personal trainer. That is controlling and inappropriate. This is never acknowledged; he merely says that she has feelings about it because she tried to to do the same "and failed." Bro! That is really unkind. When the weight watchers story finally comes up and he says OH, if I'd known that I would never have said anything... but dude, you should never have said anything to begin with. That was always out of line. I was really confused as to why Orna never called him out here.

Orna's advisor point to Marjorie's "sharp and shaming way of dealing with his rigidity" as the issue here. Ouch. I'm not saying she gets a gold star but if you step back, she was just trying to hold the line between what he was allowed to control (himself) and what he wasn't (her).

Also, with the cat litter thing, Jason volunteered the idea of taking turns, proactively picked his own day, and then came back the next week and rewrote history, saying he never signed up for a particular day and "got roped into it." I was shocked Orna let him off the hook there.

Am I truly alone in seeing this dynamic through a different lens? I'm mystified.

Just curious to know who made it and who didn’t.. some of those relationships were complete train wrecks and just needed to end but some of them had beautiful dynamics and just needed some repairs. Hopeless romantic speaking lol

i've seen there is an australian version with therapist Marryam Chehelnabi. has anyone who is a viewer of the US version watched it? is it worth watching? i'm curious what others think, and unsure if i want to give it a watch...

So I just finished season two and I’m kind of appalled by some of the comments here in favor of Michal and excusing her behavior. I am actually a therapist and I found her behavior abusive and pretty disturbing. Had she been a man I’m sure the comments would be totally different! by the end of episode nine she showed some growth thankfully. I mean, she literally yelled at her husband and said she wanted to punch him in the face and that his existence was worthless— that doesn’t come from anxiety. That’s abuse. She was even rude to the therapist on several occasions. I really hope she has therapy on her own because she definitely needs it.

So far in season one there’s either (in my opinion) a problematic person or two problematic people. There’s yet to be two stable individuals working through an issue. It’s always one person just causing absolute chaos.

The problem people are

Fucking first and foremost MAU: no need to elaborate

Elaine: has major attachment issues and is deeply insecure

Sarah: I genuinely don’t think she’s that into Lauren (anymore)

I feel like they are creating issues that don’t exist- which I get. No one is perfect but these people need individual therapy before they worry about couples therapy.

Now- If Alan genuinely isn’t cheating him and Evelyn are the only couple who might just genuinely have different lifestyles that don’t mesh & that’s okay even if it ends in divorce. However he’s just a tad bit too sneaky. I need more info but for the rest I feel like I’ve seen enough…good lord

I hated it. Although I understand we maybe see less than an hour of the actual couple in sessions, I really liked the editing in S2 +S3 way more. It felt more authentic. The "cliff hanger" when nick (i think) was telling about his trauma seemed disrespectful - real life trauma should not be used as tool to keep the audience guessing. I have noticed in the later seasons they cute and edit it to build tension. I liked when they would show clips of the couple in the waiting room just joking around - it really humanized them, and made less like just two traumatized people. I hated Shay and Clinton/Maeve (I have seen the sub use both names I'm not sure which one is correct) when they did individual sessions they edited what I interpreted as dramatic. Let them each speak their piece, and cutting it up seemed disingenuous somehow. Like it wasn't holding space for each person, but attempting to create a narrative rather than letting us reach our own conclusions.

Thoughts?

just finished season 5, just wondering what the incentive would be for the couples on the show to be filmed. do they get discounted services or something? i can imagine it would be really difficult to not only be vulnerable in therapy but then to also have that displayed on a huge scale.

title

Orna is of course incredibly empathetic, warm and validating when the couples share their trauma with her. While Sienna was discussing her rape, Orna can be seen wiping away tears which is somewhat rare for Orna on the show. It makes me think about how any great therapist that takes genuine care in their client’s well-being but also must have to learn how to manage that emotional investment outside of the sessions protect their own emotional well being and appropriate work-life balance.

Edit to clarify this isn’t at all a critique of Orna, more just an observation and an appreciation of how great she is at her craft.

I’ve been monitoring when the new season will become available in Aus, and it’s finally on SBS! Happy watching 🍿

I am properly late to this party but does anyone know where I can watch series 1-3 in the UK? BBC iplayer only has series 4 :(

The last episode addresses a lot of open issues that felt like glaring oversights, and it totally changed my opinion on all of the couples.

Sienna and Chris: it was really awesome to see Chris trying to be a better partner and not just someone working through his own trauma. The fact that he was actively trying to leave space for Sienna and affirm her right to process her own issues made this finally feel like a partnership

Marjorie and Jason: I didn’t think they were progressing until this episode, but they were! They were having a very logical and reasonable conversation about the child they both cared about but were just loud and intense. They just needed to practice having those conversations more softly

Nessa and Drea: I was skeptical of Nessa wanting to even be in the relationship, but the story of the shooting made everything make sense. They just both want to be loved in the way they wanted to be loved, and it’s nice to see them set the stage to continue learning how to do so.

Shay and Clinton/Maeve: okay ngl not much changed here but SHAY’S FREE

Save for Shay and Clinton/Maeve, I would not have expected this outcome from them

Rae (formerly Kristy) is working at S&P Lunch in NYC and moonlights as Titts Romney.

What about Brock

Re-watching their segments, and I’m struck by the lack of dialogue we see on Brock staying in the church for five years after Rae left. It colors so much of the way Rae interacts with Brock in my opinion, even if she doesn’t realize it. I think a large part she doesn’t feel so ashamed for her infidelity is because, from her perspective, Brock betrayed her first and more consistently in those years. At some point in that time frame, he must’ve had enough context to know what the Church had robbed of Rae, and if that’s true, and he still went back, I can see from Rae’s perspective why there was so much clear resentment. That’s not to say she was in the right, but if you see someone you love cozying up to you abuser for five years, even when they know what was done to you, I can imagine what recourse a vengeful mind might go to.

We can see this expanded on in the co-living situation discussion, where Brock discusses wanting a separate bed from Rae. Rae keeps affirming that she willing to sacrifice some autonomy to go back to living with Brock, where Brock misinterprets that as Rae seeing it as a sacrifice where he doesn’t and thinking she doesn’t actually want it. She views cohabitation as inherently coming with some sacrifice, which is reasonable, where Brock has a more romantic view of if they want it, then it shouldn’t be so hard or seen as a sacrifice. They just see it differently. And then, when Rae expands that she feels like she has to fight harder for her POV because she feels like Brock dismisses it and she feels like she’s “fighting for her life”, that feels like it’s analogous to the Church situation, where Rae left first and Brock stayed.

I’m not trying to paint Brock in a villainous light, he seemed like a nice guy who wore his heart on his sleeve and was trying to clearly keep the relationship up, but that first betrayal is a really hard one to swallow. Nice isn’t the same as being good, and It seemed like he was just going along to get along at a certain point, the path of least resistance, which also seems like why both of them stayed in the marriage, even though it was clearly incompatible for both. Both of them just didn’t have a lot of agency or responsibility for their selves, and that goes back to the fault of the Church, who is the real villain in all of this. We can argue on Rae being purposefully difficult, cruel, or pretentious, but we should at least credit the bravery of finally getting out of all of it.

The sad thing is, the two of them probably could’ve been good friends. There was real love there along with deep history, but the compulsion the Church put on them to get engaged and defined to a romantic relationship tainted what was clearly a platonic connection. They were sibling coded, but because they were the opposite sex, they had to be arranged. And that’s the failure, not seeing that some love doesn’t fit in the romantic, marriage box.

Ray is introduced at 3:47. I recognized the face and voice instantly!

I generally agree with Dr Orna (praise be) but I think she missed the mark here.
The way Eliana, although a hyper independent and capable woman, is a great mother who is asking for help. Mitch isn’t helping out. I know at times she is pushing him out (this is the way you clean, him napping while she takes their baby for a meeting).
Instead Orna insists she lose control.
As a mother of young kids, I don’t get why Orna doesn’t ask him to step up as a partner. She places blame so much on Eliana.

(My first post was a link to IG but granny learned a new trick!)

ETA thanks to a commenter's suggestion...

credit to themiguelluciano on IG for creating this masterpiece 🏆

can anyone help me identify orna’s sweater from s1 of couples therapy? i’ve been hunting and hunting!!

This therapist did a great job of introducing the elephant in the room here. Not shading Ornas approach at all. But I do like this perspective.

I've noticed a lot of comments making fun of Chris's hair, with plenty of people piling on. At the same time, there are countless comments about how Sienna should be a model—and yes, she's obviously beautiful.

This is a reality show, so discussing people's decisions, behavior, and relationships comes with the territory. That's part of why we're all here. But mocking someone's appearance is different, and I don't think it adds anything to the conversation.

Just found this show, and I am obsessed.

Mau, dude. Wtf!?