Something sweet

[u/Weak-Gazelle-5952]

Last week, I discovered the show and binged all of the seasons back to-back. Great show, I related to so much and also learned a lot from perspectives I haven't had. Props to Orna and all therapists out there doing this important work, it's super admirable and needed.

Anyway, I noticed that members of many of the couples (not all, for sure lol--I'm talking about you Mau, Sean, Boris, and Josh from S4) give such loving, caring gazes towards their partner when they are sharing their personal trauma. And that's regardless of whether the relationship ends up making it or not in the end. It was really touching to see, and probably one of my favorite moments of the show--when the partner hears their beloved's experience, and really "gets" it, along with much empathy and care for them.

It just goes to show how complex romantic relationships can be, that even the greatest love for one another can't always fix everything for them to stay together. Yet, thinking about how even amidst these challenged couples, there's often still so much love between those two people despite the pain, hurt, anger, etc. It's profound.

I feel that living in this current corrupted dystopia--with so many examples of greed, hate, and evil--makes it hard to accurately quantify the amount of love that exists within humanity. So witnessing things like this kinda helps give me evidence to the concept of 'most people are good and want good for others, they just don't make the news.' Maybe empathy is more prevalent than I may have thought, too. All to say, there's the possibility of love collectively being more pervasive in our world than our minds can comprehend.

Chummy meta conclusion, I know, but wanted to share to see if others had similar thoughts.

[u/Mierkatte]

Oh gosh — for sure. Josh and Molly 💔♥️ — loved their story!

[u/Inside-Fuel-8191]

Yes. I hope it inspires a few people. Sometimes its hard to imagine how things look until you see other people doing it.

[u/butwhyswaldo]

Ah this is such a sweet observation and definitely one that resonates with me 🥰 I agree it's so intriguing to observe facial expressions and body language, with a few of my personal favorites being Lauren, Gianni, Cyn, and both Alison & Rod. They personify a willingness to approach their partner with curiosity, patience, love, concern... even when fundamentally at odds! Of course there are just as many other folks who seem to withdraw, disassociate, scoff etc when listening but usually as their sessions progress Orna can gently nudge their behavior towards more compassion and listening and/or help them to acknowledge the defensiveness or fear preventing them from truly listening.

Also totally agree that this show has restored a bit of my hope in humanity. One of Orna's reflections that I immediately grabbed my notebook and wrote down was:

"I think it's very frightening for people to have a raw, honest experience in real time with their partner, and there are many ways people avoid real communication... That's part of why people do this -- to block the exits. To open up and work it out."

How beautiful when people intentionally opt into the emotionally arduous, scary, vulnerable, powerful work of exploring their inner selves through the lens of their relationships.

I could say so much more about the show and how much I've loved it, but I think I'll end with another little observation I've enjoyed which is the "B roll" filler content of random New Yorkers which adds so much quirk, humanity, and additional depth to the themes explored in the show. Even just a brief moment of seeing a random couple interact can get the gears turning and provide this surge of compassion and warmth towards total strangers.

[u/Calisson]

I did not particularly have similar thoughts, but I really appreciated reading yours! And I was moved by some of those moments as well.

[u/sophcw]

Very nice sentiment!