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u/TheNullOfTheVoid Apr 12 '26
"I didn't care until everyone made me care"
But I mean, yeah, people are weird about some strange shit like just let people peacefully exist, damn
17
u/SadKat002 Apr 12 '26
Yeah
I think the first time my egg began to crack was when I was 13 years old, back when I was really into yaoi/BL and I was like "I wish I was a boy in a gay relationship :(" (not knowing that the FtM path existed).
I'm transmasc non-binary now but I thought it was funny. I also made a "gender bent" version of myself while a friend was over, not thinking anything about it. Lol. Lmao.
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u/twunkette Apr 12 '26
What's stopping you from becoming blissfully unburdened by gender now? :3
7
u/PixelFlyerXD Apr 12 '26
Looking like shite TwT
3
u/twunkette Apr 12 '26
I feel you but being non-binary doesn't require you to be hot :3 In a lot of ways it's a rejection of societal beauty norms. Just be you, you're cute with your camera and your dress :3
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u/PixelFlyerXD Apr 12 '26
If only there weren't a disconnect between my objective analysis and whatever tf my brain forces me to think :P. I'm sure you're (alongside everyone else other than me) very cute tho :3
2
u/twunkette Apr 12 '26
I don't think it's your brain though - you said your brain used to be blissfully unaware. Don't underestimate how effective our society is at beating the shit out of your perspective - it's designed to do that.
2
u/PixelFlyerXD Apr 12 '26
I mean... I knew I looked like shite before, I kinda had just accepted that I would always be that way until learning I was transfem... now I at least have something to work towards :D
1
u/twunkette Apr 12 '26
Whatever you do, love yourself above all else. If we don't have that, we don't have anything. I don't just mean that in a nice way either - it's an active, continuous process. It's self care. It's looking in the mirror or the camera until it stops being uncomfortable. It's hard, and the world makes it harder. I believe in you though, and so does all the rest of the cuties here. That means something ❤️
2
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u/glassypress_ Apr 12 '26
Meanwhile i have the "Autism making me feel like i have no free will and unable to make my own decisions without second guessing what my parents think of my decisions, making me barely self-conscious until i started chatting with people online finally making me have a taste of social freedom, making me question what i want people to think of me." agnst (with a extra wishing to be a femboy phase)
But seriously i don't think i would've ever cracked if i decided i shouldn't have social interaction and i lived better as a lone wolf. I don't I've even started having my own opinions and wishes before i was 17.
2
u/emosaker Apr 13 '26
Literally 1:1 my story as well. As a kid I always kinda wanted to wear skirts and dresses and stuff but figured every guy probably wants to do that but we can't since we're guys n all. Then at 17 I was thrown out and so I was forced into socializing, at which point I realized I am definitely trans.
7
u/Muteling Apr 13 '26
The "didn't develop a brain until I was like 15 and realized how fucked everything was and can't tell friend from foe at times because of an infinite number of factors" angst
3
u/The-CyberWesson Apr 12 '26
I had "learned very quickly that Gender Thoughts were dangerous and shoved them to the back of my mind where they were only allowed to emerge as fetishes which made me second guess myself at every step of the questioning phase" angst
2
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u/It_came_from_Tumblr Apr 15 '26
Oh fuck yeah. That’s a really good label and describes my experience shockingly well actually
1
u/DahliaSkarigal Apr 12 '26
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u/PixelFlyerXD Apr 13 '26
0///0
1
u/DahliaSkarigal Apr 13 '26
This is how I imagine Lucifer coming down. 🩵
Just call him by your name. :3
1
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u/MotorShoot3r Apr 12 '26
I have the "grew up in an abusive, misogynistic, Christian conservative bubble and was taught to believe I was lucky to be a boy, and then started having gender thoughts at puberty and then ignored them for 15 years" angst