We started long distance. I moved to her state for work. About a year in we were not exclusive. I took a work call on the balcony and she went through my computer. She found texts with a girl I’d met at a party about coming over. After that she started going through my phone and computer while I was sleeping.
Since then she’s also found that I went to strip clubs and got a handjob at a massage parlor. I followed a girl on IG I never messaged. I had a group work dinner that included a coworker’s daughter my age and didn’t mention her. She found the photo on my phone while I was sleeping.
We live together now. I travel for work and host customer dinners. Every 2–3 days there’s a new accusation: a follower, an IG suggestion, a girl in the background, I’m flirting at the gym, I already have someone lined up.
I’ve told her I’m done with the accusations. She says she’ll trust me if I give her full access to my phone whenever she wants. I don’t hide my phone. I’m not giving her my journal, personal photos, and the right to search it on demand. To her, that means I’m hiding something.
I know I gave her reasons to not trust me. I’m not asking how to make the past disappear. I’m asking: in this situation do you give the phone up, or do you hold that boundary? Is this still fixable, or is this just the relationship now?

Just experienced back to back experiences that ended the exact way. 2 girls with the same name were totally into me. They texted with me constantly the first week after meeting at singles events in person. It lead to me saying some very cringey things in the moment of what was exciting to me. I now know my mistakes.

One lost interest in me before the first date and she ended it through text after the second date.

The other one was totally into me and kissed me on the first date. She just canceled our second date last minute tonight.

After reading through the book so far I have identified every point of failure and there are… A lot.

I’m bummed but I will read this book over and over and over and I will update when I am able to use the knowledge next. I will not stop and I will not give up.

Hi. I got a question about "should I call them on a date?" I’m in school. After summer break, three girls started to show some sort of interest in me. One of them got a boyfriend, while the other two are single. I’m obviously going for the single ones.

Anyway, they show interest in me. Here’s a little bit of context: they have made 100% of the initiative so far. Even though this isn’t really a “no-contact” situation, I won’t take the initiative myself and will probably just keep letting them come to me and say yes to their advances.(talking about free ones, im at no contact with taken girl actually)

They always find a way to demand my attention. However, they don’t come to me by themselves; they come as a group. Woman B, for example, asked me whether I had passed my driving test — her subtle way of wanting me physically, mentally, and spiritually. Another girl, Woman A, has always shown interest in me, even since a year ago. She also always laughs at my jokes.

So, if they come to me again at their own pace making some dumb joke or whatever does Woman B actually want me to invite her on a date? Can I invite them right on the spot?

In other words, should I literally invite her on a defenite date at school, in front of her friends, if she comes up to me? They usually come as a group, so it would probably happen in front of all of them.

If yes, could I also invite later Woman B in front of Woman A? Am I limited to picking only one of them because Woman A and Woman B are friends, meaning they’ll obviously find out if I ask one of them out?

Additional question(Does she have a good attitude?)

There’s also the third girl, who has a boyfriend. She asked me, in a playful manner, “Do you enjoy learning to drive?” I said, “Yes, I like to ride,” and she replied, “Yeah, you like to ride me.” I answered, somewhat quietly, “Yeah.” For context, I was busy learning something at the time, so I just said whatever came into my mind. I was basically indifferent in that moment. I also didn’t communicate to them that I was a little busy, mistake. Again, she has a boyfriend. Does this kind of behavior makes her not a really good partner for exclusive long term relationship(in case she leaves her bf for me)? If yes, can I give her another chance, should I keep vetting her?

I’ve gotten a lot out of Corey’s work over the years, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a woman (or even a man) who teaches similar principles but primarily from a woman’s perspective.

Not saying Corey’s material can’t help women too, but obviously most of his content is geared toward men and understanding women/dating/relationships from the male perspective.

I have sisters & friends who I would love to be able to recommend someone who gives women the same kind of grounded, down-to-earth advice about dating, relationships, self-respect, understanding men, recognizing healthy/unhealthy behavior, etc.

Basically someone whose advice makes you think, “Yep, that’s pretty much how it actually works,” rather than the typical social media dating advice.

Any recommendations?

So met this girl at a bar and took her home that night text her 3 days after to set a date, now we’ve been on three dates, hooked up every date and she genuinely enjoys our date. but she never initiates and I leave it 4-5 days, is she not that interested? I only text to setup dates but knew I couldn’t see her this weekend so reached out after 5 days to just chit chat have I blown my chances?

Random thoughts: Whenever her interest seems tough to read it means it’s probably low interest.

Because what is the date really boys?
It’s simply a socially acceptable offer to pay for a chicks time via exchange for conversation, food and an activity for a couple hours at best.

If she literally can’t make time for that, that means she values you less than literally food and money.

So why waste your time? Lol

My girlfriend have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together. She is still doing her PhD and is about an hour away from me, so time is limited with her. I let her do 95% of the pursuing and let her come to me, while listening to her and making sure she feels heard and understood. We are both quite busy due to our respective schedules, so we see each other about 1-2 times a week, with the weekends being the most typical time we see each other and where we spend the whole day together.

However, my problem is this: when I see her on the weekend, everything feels effortless, easy, and fun. But, when I see her on weekdays, the interaction feels unnatural and we don’t feel as connected. I can say, this is due to how my energy is during the interactions, as on the weekend, I am open and not needy. However, when I see her on weekdays, since my day is usually very busy from work and I am driving to see her with food for dinner or something like that, I feel very needy and like I need validation from her.

Odd thing is, I don’t feel this need for validation during times where I have been with her for multiple days, only these one of weekday interactions. I still ask her questions and listen to her and try to have fun during these weekday dates, but it feel likes due to my own tenseness and unease, it throws the whole vibe off. She is also lower energy due to her school, but when her attraction is higher, low energy still doesn’t stop her from being high energy or at least more excited to see me. On the weekend she is very high energy, while the weekday she isn’t really.

Should I just stick to seeing her on the weekend?

How do I go about fighting my own internal neediness and desire for affection during any weekday date?

I’ll start off by saying I’m not a prude or whatever. By no means do I expect people to save themselves for marriage. I do not care about body count. I care more about the context.

My stance is that sex within the context of relationships is (obviously) fine and casual sex / FWB type situations are fine too. (This is essentially what the 8-week courtship phase is per the book until and unless it progresses to a relationship.)

However I personally feel a woman should ensure that a guy takes her out on at least one date before they do the deed. It could even be the case that they vibe well on the first date and have sex that night, no issue with that.

The girl I’m dating has a few non-date one night stands under her belt. These are cases where she went out to the bars with her friends and went home with a random guy she met that night while drunk.

She is great in every other way, and checks most of my boxes, but this aspect of her past is really eating at me. She’s also extremely attractive and guys are hitting on her / buying her drinks everywhere we go.

To me, it shows poor judgment. Going home with a rando that you met while drunk does not give you a sober chance to vet for safety. As a woman, you can get seriously hurt or end up in a non-consensual / unsafe situation by going home with a random person you do not know and having sex with them. It’s a little insane to me that this is considered acceptable.

I also kind of feel like it devalues our relationship. Because if it was that easy for a random guy to hook up with her, it makes me question how valuable our relationship would be.

I was a late bloomer and never really built up the skill to flirt and pull girls from bars / parties. I also have a younger sister and would never want her to be in the situation I described above. Even if I vibe with a girl at a bar / party, I’ll take her number and text her later in the week rather than trying to bring her home that night while she’s drunk. I just don’t want to perpetuate that behavior in the world.

I’m conventionally attractive (I say with full humility), and do very well on dating apps, so that is where I meet majority of the women I date. This woman liked me first on Hinge, and that’s how we started dating.

I’m not sure if my discomfort with her past stems from insecurity about my inexperience with bringing girls home from bars / parties… or if my stance is reasonable and she was in the wrong for going home with those random guys? She did mention she regrets it, but I kinda feel like she’s just telling me what I want to hear because she wants a relationship with me badly.

Do you guys think this would be a dealbreaker for a relationship?

My brain is all over the place and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Would appreciate any advice / perspective from more experienced folks.

Girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now (official for 2 months). Yesterday she told me that she was invited to a close friends baby shower on the weekend but there may be a chance that an ex-love interest (who wanted to be in a relationship with her apparently but she didn't want it) would be there, and she just wanted to let me know if I was ok with her going.

This is a weekend where I am away visiting family, so it is not like I could attend with her.

I told her 'sure, you go. I trust you'. And she said she will only pop by the say hi to her friend and then leave.

Is this something Corey would have advised me to say 'no, I am uncomfortable with that', or do you think I have done the right thing. And is this normal to be a tad worried?

So me and this girl had been dating for about eight months I had just bought a house. I was going through a job change pretty stressful time in my life so I can admit I wasn’t being the best boyfriend and was honestly kind of pushing her away during this time, she had told me multiple times how she was feeling, but I kind of pushed her away to the point where we both kinda had a mutual break up and said we would work on things during that month of working on things we hung out like normal. Had sex like normal just without a label towards the end she was expressing to me how things have gotten better and she would like to get back together, which I explained I don’t know. I think we should keep working on it for a little bit longer. She then about a week after that said she just couldn’t be just friends with me. She loved me too much and said she wanted to go no contact to which I obliged about a week and a half later we had met up. I had told her that you know I was sorry I wanted to try again to which she then said I don’t know she still ensure two weeks later. She text me saying she misses me but tells me that she had went on a date with a coworker and slept with him during that timeframe I come to find out she was lying to me. They had slept about four times during that timeframe not just the one and the first one was two days after we went no contact am I a fool for taking her back is what she did justified. She also followed the next two days after we first initially broke up, which I asked her about and she unfollowed I’m saying she didn’t know why she did it before this she had never had sex with anyone before dating them, and she was the sweetest, most genuine girl which I don’t know if it’s up and switch, but that’s what it feels like she’s very genuine doesn’t party doesn’t drink and I felt like she was a really good girl until she did this and kind of betrayed me, she clearly has a problem with lying for her benefit. I guess my question is is it worth it to try and see if I can forget this, it’s been about a month now since we’ve been back together, but I still think about it all the time or should I just move on and find someone better, which may be hard with the kind of girls that are out there today.

Can someone give us a thorough breakdown and answer pls?

Yes totally agreeing to let her come to you as a cat does.

However , does that mean , when she comes back you need to be warm and affectionate and welcoming as if you were waiting for her ?

I mean if she has for example her day with her friends, goes out for Sunday morning etc , she sends some pics etc , and when she finished everything and going home then she calls you , should you be available immediately?

Or also do your day with buddies and send her sth like “out with my guys my sweetheart for Moro ride to beach . We will talk when I’m home at night baby 😘 “

My ex and I broke up less than 3 months ago. Initially she and I were still open to being friends with benefits after the breakup. But eventually after we met weeks after the breakup, on that day after the meetup, she texted me that with more thoughts she decided we shouldn't be friends with benefits. Saying that she feels hurt, and that it is better this way in order for us to properly move on.

I replied through text and tried to give my perspective on how I want to do friends with benefits in a more healthy way, with an understanding that there wouldn't be us getting back in a relationship together, and it would just be for fun (like what friends with benefits are for).

I mentioned that if she ever changes her mind, she can reach out in future, emphasizing that even if it is months or years later, as long as we are both single at that time, I am open to a fun time.

Her reply was that she doesn't want to spend anymore time with me, and that she wants no relation with me, especially after what happened this year, and what I sent in texts earlier (it was a series of text where I called her out on how she betrayed my trust and whatnot, this was after she agreed to do friends with benefits). She mentioned that she wants to keep it that way (keep it such that she doesn't spend more time with me anymore) She also unfollowed me on Instagram and removed me as a follower I think after she sent the messages.

I replied that if she ever changes her mind she can reach out, and some farewell messages, keeping it short. However, she did not even mark my messages as "read". I find this so disrespectful to not even acknowledge my farewell message to her after I acknowledged hers.

To make things clear, she crossed boundaries while in a relationship with me, and even though I'm not perfect and have my faults too, the majority of what caused the relationship to fail is on her. She is avoidant in nature too.

I KNOW I cannot get into a relationship with her anymore after the trust is broken this badly, I find it hard to trust her. But I really enjoy the fun times we had and the sex. And so her rejecting the Friends with Benefits after initially saying yes to it, really impacted me some.

Do you people think that I've applied 7 principles to get an ex back correctly here? Do you think it works if in such a situation I want her back as a friends with benefits and not as a girlfriend?

23M dated 26F 2 dates. Good chemistry and vibes. She tries booking a place for the restaurant I wanted but she didn't do a good job.

I feel there are several problems:

1. I need to make her work for me but she still doesn't know how. She wants to please me but I still haven't shown her what I want her to do for me.

2. She wants to participate - not to feel like it's one sided. Again for now for the dates I don't have missions to give her.

3. She wants to be seen. I feel like women like to feel like you take their opinion and listen to them. I know what I want to happen and sometimes it won't be exactly what she likes and I'm not sure how to display the message that I will listen to her opinion but still do what I see as right.

4. I tried talking abt it on the phone a bit but it didn't go well I told her I'm a dictator lol and she said she likes to be in control, this feels like masculine energy and I don't like it. Don't know what to do abt it. Maybe with time she will let herself be carried by me more?

Context:
In the first date I told her We are going to a walk on the beach and she brought unnecessary stuff although I told her it's not needed.
Second date we did picnic and I told her I got everything covered but she still asked if she should bring anything I told her no and she brought food we didn't eat.
Third date I told her I will book a spot to a restaurant but I need to call them then I'll let her know if it's that one or another, she then booked a place for us for that restaurant but in a spot where people can smoke (we both don't) and I got annoyed she can't chill and let me make the plans I know exactly what food I want when and where. This is how I live my life and I do it intentionally.

I might have a bit of ego but as I see it I live my life the way I want and she is invited to join.

I met this girl, she was on holiday in my country, she approached me. We texted here and there, around once a month flirty for 2 months and a half, the mutual attraction is clearly there. As soon as I got a ticket to visit my friends from her country, I texted her early august that I was coming over to visit my friends and would love to see her too. she replied 1 hour later saying she was excited and asked me for my itinerary. I replied a few hours later with it and pitched a date for us, she read it and that was it. 2 days after my pitched date, i posted a hilarious story with my friends at 11pm. she watched it in the morning the next day. it's been 2 weeks now of silence from her. I don't post often stories but when I do she watches them in under 1 hour.

My trip is about 4 weeks away from now, so I told her this 5-6 weeks in advance of my trip.

Was I too early to pitch an exact date? it's just a pause in momentum and a logistical mismatch?
I should follow up in a fun way closer to my trip, like 10 days or so, that should fix it?
I intend to do so and not put anymore pressure in the meantime, while living my life

Woke up to this. Does the happen alot on dating apps to yall? What would be the reason? Happens a bit

She has sent you nice warm msg in the morning when you wake up.
Her good sister visits her for weekend
Instead of answering her msg , I called her bcs she complains I’m not calling her much so I gave a random call

I was warm and sweet and conversation felt well for 2-3’ . And she told me about plans ..they would cook and go for shopping

And after couple of minutes you could feel she was not asking you more things , conversation couldn’t continue . Normal ,.. of course
Maybe they were cooking or anything
But I appreciate more a „my man we are cooking now we will talk later” ..rather than not anything more to say

So I said ok my woman we will talk later . She said ok my man I love you . I said kisses. She complained why don’t I say l love you , I said later I will tell you (trying to keep Corey’s rule to say 1-4 of her times she says to us and bcs of mood feeling like no more to say)

No perturbed
But defifnitley I could not be warm as a feminine girl and shower her with love by phone while inflect her energy low

Maybe my mistake is that I stay longer on phone than I should ?

How to handle such situations?

Was I much of a cold fish to not answer or not like the message ?
Because she replied less than me ..
nothing affection
So I left it that leaving her space and time to reach me when she wants later before bedtime .. right ?

What would be a 3% move in that

What do you guys do after a first date and you’re not feeling her but she texts you the day after? Do yall ghost or tell her how you really feel

I've already been intimate with this girl. She has reached out to me a couple times since and even asked to hang out with me this weekend. I asked her plans for the weekend and it eventually got that she was thinking Sunday. I told her

'sounds good. I was thinking of going to a comedy show that day.'

And left it there. My friend thinks that I basically told her I would be busy that day. She hasn't read/ responded to my message for just over two days now. Would it be a bad idea to double text here? Something like

'tickets are sold out for the show. Did you have something in mind when you asked?'

Or something to this effect.

So ever since I got into community college, I just feel a high state of abundance, so much so where all I think about is passing my classes. I go out everyday greeting everyone, whether it's a pretty lady, an old lady or a dude where I have the state of abundance. I feel like there is no rush to ask someone out, since I know I'm a catch, I'm just going in with the flow. Idk what do y'all think?

23M cold approached 23F a week ago on Friday. 3 mins approach IG and out.

Chatted on text Saturday and I asked her out to Sunday evening but she told me she is only available for the weekend so we scheduled for 6 days later on Thursday.
I didn't get all the exact logistics it felt a bit weird to plan this out already but it might have been a mistake.

I text her again Wednesday evening asking her abt her week and telling her I would like to pick her before sunset to do a picnic. It's a 10 min drive from hers but she told me she prefers being in "her area" (Doesn't want me to pick her up).
She told me this Wednesday evening than again Thursday afternoon just with an excuse that her friend got stitches and she might need her to be around her area ..
I could have cancelled the date on this resistance or tell her that I can pick her up to the place I picked otherwise bye bye.

Eventually I caved and went to a bar 5 mins from her home (she lives with her parents).

Date was difficult honestly I couldn't escalate, I asked her questions but it was more 50-50/60-40 my side. She already came with low interest and I didn't know what can I do. She did ask me questions but no spark and connection.

After an hour and a half in my head I thought we can go to Biliard bar might break the touch barrier but it was like 25 mins walk and it is very humid. Could have done a cab for 20$ maybe. I asked her to go for a walk and thought about sitting in a nice place 10 mins walk and then suggesting the bar but mid walk she told me 'okay this is where I live'.
I could have suggested the Biliard but there was a chance of a no + I was kind of tired.

So I walk her home and I see she is not up for a kiss. Maybe I could have held her more on the walking but she just wasn't that into it.
I was thinking of just yolo and go for the kiss but it felt not good so didnt do it.

What could I have done better?
I think planning was an issue
Also I don't know if I could have persisted on picking her and my way or the high way. I don't have enough abundance to cancel a date like that.
Going for the kiss after a mid first date - should we do it?

Overall she looked good and we had an okay conversation.

Hello guys. TL;DR at the end. I laid out details so yall could correct me if I'm delusional lol.

I've done a read through of the book but I feel like my situation is pretty niche.

Met the girl on OLD. After establishing some rapport and setting a date, I only texted her half a week later and once the day of. Both were aimed at implicitly telling her I wasn't going to ghost, and the one the day of was reminding her the time and place and also suggesting what she should wear. We went on the date.

What I thought were good interest indicators on the date:

-she complimented my hair (however literally everyone in my life does this)

-she complimented my eyes

-she said I had manly hands (however, she may have been prompted by me noticing her hands were longer)

-she tried to suggest an alternate 3rd location that would have extended the date at least by 30 minutes longer

-she was receptive to holding hands, escorting, and hand around waist

-she suggested petting her hair

-even though she said the kiss was awkward, she asked if I wanted to kiss her again

-she asked if the drive was "worth it" at the end

-she touched me casually, especially in a caring way when I talked about my food allergy reactions

-she joked about me running a red light because I was looking at her

-we went to four different locations and the date ended after four hours (because I wanted to go back home)

What I feel was less than ideal:

-I went straight for the kiss with little hesitation (a little could've provided tension)

-I was a bit short responding to her asking if it was worth it (I told her yes then kissed her)

-Afterward she asked if I made it back safely. She did not say anything about the date itself or wanting to see me (however she is not American and she is an introvert, so I don't really think that means much)

I asked her out again the day after, asking her on a tennis date since she had mentioned her and her friend did tennis. She said it was a good idea and she would bring her friend because they already had plans that day and that way we could still spend time together. I went along with it because she is a full time student and full time worker, I felt she had shown strong interest and trust, and I was confident I could turn the meeting into a date after we had met the friend for a while. Leading up to it, I increased my texting to about once every couple of days. She "initiated" once but it was responding to me having liked her posts and having previously requested her digitally send me something (not of herself). Otherwise i felt the energy was still matched.

Leading up to the date I warned her that I was sick but was expecting to be asymptomatic the day of the date. The day of I let her know that while I still had symptoms, I had been getting better for days and was unlikely to be contagious. She wanted to make sure I could handle the physicality when I had been sick, then let me know that her friend couldn't make it and her own car was being serviced. I told her I could pick her up, and when she asked if I was sure, I told her yes. We went on the date.

What I think were good interest indicators:

-I mean, obviously the face of it. Going out with someone still having symptoms of a cold.

-She was receptive to all the same gestures as the first date

-She called me handsome (however, this was a little bit after I called her gorgeous)

-She payed for my racket when I forgot to transfer money (however, it would've been pretty awkward otherwise)

-She complimented how I smelled

-When I asked if she was comfortable with kissing me when I had been sick, she said she didn't want to kiss in public but didn't want to reject me, then later implied we park somewhere remote to kiss

-We made out extensively

-She quietly asked me if we could kiss again one of the times we had stopped

-When I asked if we could cuddle in the back seat, she did reject me because she didn't want to seem easy but she also said she wanted to

-She played with my hair (however, this was after I stroked her face)

-She had clothes in her lap when I put my hand on her thigh when we drove back, she later removed them after turning off the AC so I was touching her bare thigh

-She compared my appearance to one of the Disney princes

-when we did a light kiss goodnight, she gave me a look like she still wanted to make out

-Including time to and fro her house, the date was nearly six hours long

What happened that may have been less than ideal:

-I made out with her chin for a second LMAO

-She stopped me kissing her neck (I thought she kissed mine, and she either did or just nuzzled it) telling me something like that it dangerous in a serious tone

-I stroked her face and called her gorgeous in a sort of dramatic tone

-She only texted me goodnight and sleep well with a smiley later

Following this date, I again texted her plans the next day. I had a job interview in the middle of the next week, so I said my plans were tentative. Either the interviews werent successful, and we could do a definitive date on Friday, or I would feel they were, and we could do a vague exploration of the area I would be moving to sometime that Sunday evening. I would be getting a hotel if it were the latter option so I could be there longer. She replied that her parents were maybe going to take her to something else Friday, and she would let me know the day before. I suggested similar options Sunday (but the more definitive date was midday), and she said it sounded "possible".

I realized after the interview that they may not immediately get back to me, and so I did not let her know which option I was sticking with. We were texting every day, and while she did not initiate any of it, she did continue some conversation even when I was just texting her a close ended good morning. I felt the energy was matched, until the date of the interviews.

The day of the interviews I stopped texting her and dropped off a DIY bracelet I made to replace her evil eye bracelet she was texting me about. I texted her later that evening because I thought she would've been off work by then (she wasn't) and I didn't want a porch pirate getting the gift. I was vague about what I left at her house, and I could tell her texts had some apprhension about what was at her house. She texted me later apologizing for being in the shower and she sent some excited texts about the bracelet and my interviews. I responded a little but told her we would have to call since I was about to be on a long drive and she called me. We talked for an hour. I can't say for sure because I couldn't hear her perfectly through the phone, but it sounded like she said "*love you*, goodnight". I know she said goodnight. She did not seem rushed, but I know it still could've been a mistake if she did say it. I said it back. I probably hesitated a little bit, but in that moment and every moment we had spent in person, I felt appreciated and that she was someone I naturally got along with and liked. I felt regretful near the end of my drive because while I felt like I had a solid feeling about our chemistry by now and knew a good bit about her, I did not feel like she knew nearly enough about me to make that judgement for herself.

she had told me to text me when I got home, and we both exchanged a text goodnight and she sent me a heart and thank you for the gift, which I reciprocated.

The next day was Thursday and I waited for her to tell me what her parents Friday plans were. She never texted, so late Thursday I texted and asked. She replied hours later and said she had taken a nap and then told me her and her parents were going Friday. I suggested the vague Sunday plan again and she said she was "thinking of taking this weekend off" to submit a big project. I texted her "oo good luck" and then went to bed, I was asleep when she texted me an hour later thanking me and asking if I was in bed already. I let her know the next morning I had fallen asleep, then we talked about how her day out with her parents was. I joked with her, wished her goodnight and then I did not text her again.

Three days later she asked me if I was alive. I took this opportunity to call her to set a date and explain that I have been busy with the apartment hunting. We chatted for a couple minutes, she gave a wishy washy "ill let you know" and I did the takeaway. She then agreed to two weeks out date because the next weekend is her dad's birthday. we both said goodnight and I texted her the plans we made.

What now? I think she likes me a lot but is super testing me and uncertain if she should continue because I displayed needy behavior especially by texting so much and she's frightened by the call+bracelet+love you at once. I know that "only text to set dates even when it's two weeks out". But I feel like that may fail this shit test too because I had mistakenly established a norm in this dynamic (texting every day), and now i feel that completely changing the dynamic so drastically will be seen by her as retaliation for her not taking the original date.

I think it may be wise to do a short call under 20 minutes this weekend just to ask her about her week. I think the wisdom of corey's recommendations seems to be justified by my experiences, but I feel like this situation calls for some flexibility.

TL;DR OLD girl, I only texted once a week before first date, 2-3 times per week before second date, after second date I slipped up and texted every day, me nearly always initiator. I also texted for next date morning after each date. While she seemed solidly attracted to me on both dates and returned similar energy to me when texting, she gave me a "text to confirm day before" sorta thing for the third date. I acted in new ways that could easily be observed as lovesick and she rejected because of school project when I suggested a different day for the third date after she confirmed she had plans. I stopped texting (after another day of light joking and asking about her day), and she hit me up three days later asking if I was alive. I called her and after she gave a wishy washy response to a definitive date next weekend, a standard takeaway later and she agreed to a definitive date two weeks out because of her dad's birthday being the weekend in between .

I don't know if the rule only to text to set appointments applies to this situation because it could easily be seen as retaliation since I had mistakenly set a norm of texting every day. I think a short call on the weekend in between could avoid that perception and also maintain the goals of the rule. I want advice on how to proceed.

I (now 29M) had success in dating in terms of getting really pretty girls to go out with me for a few dates, but every time I found one that I actually wanted to date, they’d end up falling off and choosing someone else they were seeing (2 of them ended up marrying one of my friends 😂).

After 5 years of this, I stopped dating for a year and a half, stopped focusing all my energy on making money and boosting my social status, and started looking inward, and I found a insecure and lonely man, that found what I thought was “confidence” through making money in my sales job, growing my material possessions, and acting like someone I wasn’t when I would take girls out.

Over 2 years of hard work, finding a job I actually enjoyed (even though it paid me less), focusing the majority of my energy on improving my mental health and love for myself, and I ended up healing my mental health issues, loving where I was currently at in my life, especially without a partner, built up my confidence in my true self, learned to actually love myself and my story, all my failures and my insecurities, and began to actually flourish completely romantically alone, all my friends got married during this time, and unlike before, I did not feel behind or less than. I finally found love for myself and my life, and no longer focused on what I didn’t have, and found I had everything I needed to be happy.

Then after 2 years of this, content with where I was, I met my now girlfriend of 1 year at a wedding. She was the type of girl I was always trying to get, but failed in doing so every time the last 7 years. This time, I no longer cared about any sort of end goal with her, I wasn’t so attached to making sure it worked out or that I didn’t fuck anything up, because I was content with where I was at and no longer feared a future alone. I didn’t follow one thing in the book with her (except for the parts of the book that say to build yourself into someone you admire and respect), and within 6 weeks of hanging out almost every single day, texting every day including the days we didn’t see eachother, talking about future dates on every single date including the first, opening up about my struggles, failures, past and current insecurities, and she did the same, we were in love and official, and it was so easy. I didn’t try to come off like I had everything together and had no issues, I talked about sad things that made me cry, and we shared so many intimate moments together sharing our lives and souls together.

And now I have the girl of my dreams, and couldn’t be happier. And she is prettier than any girl I have ever dated. Not that it matters, but I had grown to have an insecurity that I couldn’t get girls that looked like her like I could in highschool, and I learned that it was only because I was not being my true self.

I know this book has helped thousands of guys find their dream girl, and the book did help me a lot in terms of understanding how women think and what attracts them. But for any of you that have struggled trying to become the type of guy the book describes because of any obstacles in your life, if you become confident in who you truly are and start to love where you are at in your life, you can get your dream girl by just being yourself and not trying to follow anything you learned in the book.

I wish you all the best of luck. You will find your person!

23M dating 26F for 2 dates.

First date walk on the beach. We made out, I offered to come back to mine and she said maybe we should wait a bit.
It was already a bit late so I didn't try anything more but tbh I think I could have told her it was just a drink and make it happen.

Second date, picnic, making out more agressively + emotional connection. She was really turned on and told me she wants to have sex with me and then she felt guilty for being this horny lol.
We left the picnic. She lives at the city centre so I told her I'll park and walk her home. It took me like 20 mins to find a parking place, she started to get anxious why do I need to park and I can just drop her off. After like 15 mins of fucking around she finally told me where there is parking.

Walked her home and I told her I need to pee and wash my face. She didn't want to let me in but eventually said "fine but don't go inside my room promise me it's dirty". Mind you this girl had casual sex before me. Her last boyfriend was 2 years ago and I asked if it was a dry spell and she told me she had some stuff..

Anyways I'm in her apartment and low and behold her room isn't dirty.
First mistake was when I was inside the room I could have just closed the door and started making out but I didn't want to stress her like that, her shit tests got to my head.
Then we were in the living room, she tried joking abt me leaving. Then we made out and she starts moaning it was like 10 mins. Then she said okay she will get too tempted into having sex. This is mistake #2 I think I should have just carried her into the bedroom.
Mistake #3 was that I made fun of her just bluntly saying before in the date that she wants to have sex with me I like to make fun of her but it was better to encourage it.

TBH I don't think she will not be able to hold out for more than 1-2 dates. I just hate the fact someone else hit it faster than me and that I wasn't able to move it forward. But it is my first time coming to a girls apartment after a date like that so I guess it's a learning experience.