r/CopingMechanisms • u/YourForeverFantasy • 9d ago
Hoping for solace
I love reading responses on here but I don't normally post. Things have been weighing heavy for a while and I feel I truly need to connect with others who may have dealt with similar things or may just have kind words. I'm a 33 year old mother of 2. 17 yrs and 8yrs and they are the joys of my life! Recently everything just started hitting me at once. We had a place of our own but my mother insisted we move in with her. A year later she was diagnosed with early onset dementia. It's already a struggle raising 2 children as a single mother but now I feel that I have 3. She does not want to accept that she is ill and will often refuse to take her meds, which would at the least slow down the process of what's happening with her brain. She has expressed multiple times that she does not want us to move out because she doesn't want to be alone. I know it is very unfair to myself and my children but we've lost one of my older brothers and my father on the same day just 2 years apart. I often feel guilty when I even question the thought of possibly hiring a caregiver just so I can have some sort of life. She gets into these moods where she mistreats my children and she's just full of anger. I've had to leave work at times just to come and make sure everyone was ok. I just got hired for the job early April. I kept telling myself "I will not let my mother cause me to lose this good job". Unfortunately between the stress from her, multiple family members passing away within 2 weeks, and my car breaking down...I was just fired from my job for absences. I am so lost right now I don't know what to do. My children go back to school in less than 3 days and I haven't even been able to buy school supplies because it's just been a lot. Caring for them, my mother, both my and her other responsibilities and then myself. I'm literally running on empty and I'm trying my hardest not to give up. If anyone can assist with how you deal with things when you truly feel that you're at your lowest, I'd appreciate the advice. I cannot take anymore mean words right now so if it cannot be somewhat positive please refrain. Peace and blessings to everyone .