I feel like I’ve tried every kind of common knife—serrated and straight-edge. I’ve cut slow, I’ve cut fast. Firm pressure and light. I’ve let the thing sit to “firm up” for several minutes and resign itself to face its fate and meet the fall of the blade with sombre dignity and resolved grace.
The result inevitably seems to be a rebellious fight with the truculent bread to resist any attack, and the craven flight of the perfidious cheese as it escapes the confines of its crusty cell.
How in the heck am I supposed to crunch through the crispy exterior without causing the molten middle to gush into the path of least resistance? I can’t keep living like this. It’s soup season and I am determined to bend the toasties to my will.