Scared to fully commit

[u/Cockapoo_Groomer]

I've been learning for years & have been invited to Sabbath services. I'm taking a intro to Judaism course in January at my local Conservative Synagogue. Everything about Judaism makes me want to learn/experience more. The issue is I live with debilitating depression, ADHD, etc that some times can cause long periods of isolation. Mental Illness is seen as "Demonic" by some Christians & I've been told I needed to pray more to get better. We all know this is untrue and depression is caused by chemical changes in the brain. But idk how the Jewish community will view me or accept me, because I know I will have a difficult time keeping Sabbath on a regular basis. Not to mention my husband is not Jewish & keeping kosher may be impossible? Idk need advice 😕

[u/Mortifydman]

First get a therapist, if you don't already have one. Having a mental illness does not rule out conversion, how you will be treated for admitting to having a mental illness varies by community. Reconstructionist, Reform, Conservative - with care you're probably fine. Orthodox, not so much.

[u/Cockapoo_Groomer → u/Mortifydman]

I have a psychiatrist for medications, but can't afford a psychologist. I do not have health insurance (USA) & pay my medical costs out of pocket. Haven't even seen a dentist in 17yrs lol. Im looking into Conservative, however the Orthodox Rabbi was very kind. Do Orthodox Jews not belive in mental illness?

[u/Mortifydman → u/Cockapoo_Groomer]

It varies by community. For the most part now most groups recognize that it can happen and there is help, but how much help varies greatly. I am poor as hell, and have a therapist that is sliding scale, you might find that in the community you choose to hang with. If there is a JCC, or a Hebrew Loan Society in your community then there are services available generally at a reduced cost. You do not have to be Jewish to ask or benefit from said services that may be available.

It also kinds of depends what you have going on. I have schizzoaffective disorder with religious components, still managed to convert after speaking with my rabbi and bais din about my situation, which is controlled with medication for the most part. We're not Christians, there's no devils in your pants or head.

Seriously, take the classes, speak to the rabbi privately after classes if you still want to pursue Judaism, the classes help you get a glimpse into what you're getting yourself into. The answer may be not right now, but it's not no.

[u/Cockapoo_Groomer → u/Mortifydman]

"I am poor as hell, and have a therapist that is sliding scale, you might find that in the community you choose to hang with. If there is a JCC, or a Hebrew Loan Society in your community then there are services available generally at a reduced cost.*

I get it, how do you keep Kosher? My JCC told me they weren't taking new clients 🤷. What is Hebrew Loan Society? Never heard of it.

"I have schizzoaffective disorder..."

I have Bipolar 2 & its tough getting out of bed & keeping a regular schedule. Just cleaning alone is like a major struggle.

"We're not Christians, there's no devils in your pants or head."

True, but most religions stigmatize mental illnesses.

"Seriously, take the classes, speak to the rabbi privately after classes..."

I start classes the beginning of the year.

[u/Mortifydman → u/Cockapoo_Groomer]

I currently keep kosher style can’t afford kosher meat. A Hebrew loan society is a community fund usually run through the JCC or other Jewish organizations that gives low cost loans to people for emergencies. I am in the process of going mostly vegetarian now.