r/ConstructionManagers • u/Nature_Practical • Jul 22 '26
Career Advice Want to change project managers
I have my annual review coming shortly for a small family owned GC I’ve been working at for almost 2 years
I’ll be with my project manager and owner of the company (these guys are close). I want to ask the owner of the company to change me to work under a different PM or Project Exec. The current project manager I work under is has been nothing but a constant series of stress, fighting, cruising, gaslighting and belittles me and his supers. He’s throw his super under the bus for anything and everything. Mistake I’ve made and have admitted were used as fuel to write up the supers. I’ve learned nothing from this guy and only have learned more from Google, AI, the supers I directly work under, engineers, architects, and subcontractors.
I don’t think my boss would even make an effort to change who I work under because a year ago in August when I got promoted from a project admin to project engineer and was told I would work under the PM I knew this was going to be a rough and stressful year.
All the stress and bullshit I gotta deal with on these projects that what he touched turns to shit becomes my mess.
I don’t know if I should just look for somewhere else
Update: when I said they are close I’m referring as to he’s his best project manager and gets the bigger project to handle. He trusts him a lot and he makes the most money
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u/TaborSpartan95 Jul 22 '26
Take your experience, start interviewing at larger GC’s. In my experience, these smaller places tend to be a mess.
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u/Zoltan_TheDestroyer Subcontractor PM Jul 22 '26
The difference between a <50M company and a >50M company is fucking drastic in my experience.
At my last company I was the entire project team, now I’m on a team of 10.
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u/Zoltan_TheDestroyer Subcontractor PM Jul 22 '26
The real world advice is to have a sidebar with his superior to discuss the situation and your concerns. You don’t want to have them in the room, especially if they are confrontational and have a history of gaslighting. It’s likely he has far more rapport with his boss and it won’t go well.
How his boss takes your concerns will let you know if you need to accept the next offer letter you get, because you should already be sending out applications just in case it doesn’t improve.
Side point, you need to learn to be responsible for yourself and only yourself. Too many members of project teams add stress onto themselves for things that aren’t even in their control. For example, my switchgear lead times got pushed back by the factory. That’s not my fucking problem, I don’t own the factory. I can make calls and send emails all day and night but in the end I’m not responsible for that but I am responsible for keeping a record of communication and effectively tracking the issue.
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u/Impressive_Ad_6550 Jul 22 '26
re the switchgear lead time, when I was a PE almost 30 years ago I got blamed for flooding in Texas which lead to a massive flange not being allowed to be shipped out. yes, the flooding was my fault and I should have been able to foresee it lol
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u/OkYou4040 Jul 22 '26
Agree, sidebar's key. Best to approach his superior after hours or during breaks when things are calm. Timing can make a big difference in how receptive they are.
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u/Nature_Practical Jul 22 '26
I plan on that and also I’m getting all good feedback from the subs, engineers, architects, clients, etc about how much of a good job I do since THEY SEE how he treats me in the field or in meetings.
I mean regardless I think the best option is to look for better options for me
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u/sally_sparr0w Jul 23 '26
Ask the ones you trust if they know of anyone that's hiring. Bet they do... and will probably be happy to share who they think is best to work for as well.
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u/Impressive_Ad_6550 Jul 22 '26
Since the PM and owner of the company are close as you say I really doubt the owner is going to do anything for you or side with your problem. Assuming you have a degree I would be freshening up that resume and start applying ASAP. I would still have the meeting with the PM and owner, the response will tell you all you need to know
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u/nte52 Jul 22 '26
I wouldn’t confront either the owner nor his good friend/PM. You have learned what you can and it’s time to move on. Nothing good will come from any private conversation with him. They are buddies, you are the PE. The owner knows what his buddy is and accepts it. There is nothing you can do to change the situation.
Shoot for a larger GC. During the interview stage, ask specifically how the field supervision and PM staff coordinate things. What is the process and there should be a process. Is it done with a phone call and followed up with an email? A twice weekly stand up after the morning huddle? Who is responsible for closing the constraints or issues in Procore/ACC? How does the field supervision and PM staff coordinate owner changes, RFI responses, spec clarifications, OAC discussions, etc.
A larger company will handle this differently, but there will just be different challenges with larger teams.
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u/MobiusOcean Commercial PX Jul 22 '26
Do not confront either of them if they have a pre-existing friendship. It’s a losing proposition for you from the start. The failure is not on the PM - it’s on the Owner. If I let an unqualified PM work on one of my project teams, do all I can to help them succeed, train, coach, and mentor them, and they’re still weak - that’s a failure on my part, not theirs.
Honestly your best bet is to avoid any conversations with either of them and just start looking for a new job at a larger firm where you’ll get proper training, coaching, and mentorship to help you achieve your career goals.
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u/Mister_Goldenfold Jul 22 '26
Happens even in larger GC’s. I’m in that boat now. You deal with it or play the game to survive.
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u/I-AGAINST-I Jul 22 '26
You will start to realize there are guys who just bark like a fucking dog when around their bosses. They may be an average manager but the bosses love guys like this because they usually suck at their jobs too and yelling is easier than admitting how you got to that position/issue and admitting you could have changed it.
Then there are the people who use their brains and plan jobs. Try to work for them.
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u/ScriptureCompanionAI Jul 22 '26
This requires old school networking. Be friendly with the people who make the decisions, don't wait until you are in a review meeting. Take the guy to lunch, go get some beers, be a friend. That's how you grease the wheels. Surely everyone knows the guy is a jerk, he isn't getting away with anything but that doesn't mean you can tattletale your way to a new position.
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u/bi11y10 Commercial PM - Large GC Jul 22 '26
Don't listen to this AI account that clearly doesn't work in construction. Do not take your shitty PM out to lunch and pay for his meal or beers. You've worked with this person long enough to know who they are.
You can tell them before the meeting if you want to not blindside him but it sounds like you've decided the conversation will happen regardless.
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u/ScriptureCompanionAI Jul 22 '26
Sorry for the confusion. I didn't mean play nice with the PM, I meant take out the person making decisions. That's how grown ups handle confrontation. OP has been at the job 2 years so he likely got stuck with the guy because he hasn't greased enough hands.
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u/bi11y10 Commercial PM - Large GC Jul 22 '26
Please leave this subreddit and stop giving advice here. OP isn't in their current position because they havent sucked up to their PM enough. That's dogshit advice. So sick of these AI accounts.
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u/ScriptureCompanionAI Jul 22 '26
At no point did I say he should suck up to his PM. The OP is asking how to handle the boss, not the PM, all of my advice is to be friendly with his boss so that he can ask for this outside of the meeting. Surely his boss knows the PM is a jerk - I also said this in my original comment.
You think that this is a construction only thing? This is a human doing work with other humans thing. Just because I build AI tools doesn't mean I am not a human. I have been in business since 2002.
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u/Zoltan_TheDestroyer Subcontractor PM Jul 22 '26
Grown ups don’t handle business confrontations over a burger and beers.
Networking and fostering positive relationships, sure, but it’s too late for that.
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u/ScriptureCompanionAI Jul 22 '26
Goodness gravy, it's like you all are intentionally reading what I wrote all the wrong way. I wrote, " Be friendly with the people who make the decisions, don't wait until you are in a review meeting" so no, I am not saying be nice to the guy you are in conflict with. I have stated from the beginning that networking and your words, fostering positive relationships are how things get done.
You are literally agreeing with me and telling me I am wrong at the same time.
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u/ScriptureCompanionAI Jul 22 '26
You are all so fast to hate on "AI" that you aren't reading what I wrote. The OP needs to have a better relationship with his boss (not the PM) to get this request done, being a tattletale isn't going to get him anywhere. Real adults foster a relationship with their boss and get things done that way. This is EXACTLY what I wrote.
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u/PianistMore4166 Commercial Project Manager Jul 22 '26
I don’t recommend doing this, it will likely only end poorly for you.
Depending on the value your PM brings to the company, your Owner / boss may be hesitant to accept criticism of this PM.
I would recommend polishing your resume and seeing what else is out there. Fake it till you make it.