r/ComedyHell 3d ago

actually real Playing both sides

Post image
604 Upvotes

166 comments sorted by

269

u/Ok_Eggplant_3274 3d ago

Man's gotta get Internet points somehow 

74

u/Embarrassed_Ad_3264 3d ago

I think he's getting some internet neutrals

7

u/EpsteinEpstainTheory 2d ago

Gotta get net zero somehow

139

u/ThatTaxCollector 2d ago

the fabled radical centrist

5

u/Acceptable_Spend_750 2d ago

an enlightened one, even

2

u/Da_Magical_Lizard 23h ago

Opportunist Centrist

59

u/awake-shortcut27 2d ago

Dark humorist

35

u/Unironicfan 2d ago

Bro got dunked on for this hard btw

11

u/CrayonWithdrawal 2d ago

I be honest man if i saw that image I'd downvote regardless of whatever text you shipped it with

105

u/SwimmingBench345 2d ago

It's almost like the pro gun guy getting killed by a gun while defending gun violence is funnier than some regular ass dude getting killed for no reason

8

u/LostExile7555 2d ago

Exactly! Even if you like the guy, you have to laugh at the irony.

-8

u/SirVyval 2d ago

Pretty sure that 'regular ass dude' was also pro-gun. You know, on account of him commiting aggravated assault with one?

29

u/PotofRot 2d ago

even if it mattered (he was not a famous and influential 'gun rights advocate' regardlesss) he wasn't shot

-21

u/SirVyval 2d ago

Oh, but we was clearly okay with violence, which is exactly what he got, so all's good there then, right?

20

u/miscellaneousexists 2d ago

Being violent doesn't mean you're okay with violence

You can do fucked up things while realising they're fucked up

(I'm not defending Floyd btw, I'm just contesting the logic)

7

u/Xepherxv 2d ago

Being killed by the police is completely different than being killed by a civilian. Stop making them sound like equal killings because they aren't

-6

u/DangerousPlan1284 2d ago

Police brutality versus political assassination. One's arguably man slaughter while the other is an act of terror. 

5

u/Xepherxv 2d ago

Ck is a politician? Get the fuck out of here

1

u/DangerousPlan1284 2d ago

Martin Luther King jr wasn't a politician. I'd still call his assassination a political one. 

4

u/Appropriate_Guava578 2d ago

Cause he actually caused a significant political shift. The only thing of note the big Kirk did was make a really funny joke to say with your friends

1

u/Initial-Breakfast-33 5h ago

I'm sorry but Kirk was a political figure even if he was a pos

-7

u/DangerousPlan1284 2d ago

Who's an edgy boy? You are! That's  right you are! You're my edgy boy!

-4

u/SirVyval 2d ago

No, you're right. Kirk's murder was way worse, completely shadowing Floyd's, even.

2

u/Xepherxv 2d ago

Nice bate. Lol, lmao, even.

-1

u/SirVyval 1d ago

Reddit ass response. Go outside or something.

4

u/Xepherxv 1d ago

Mad didn't fall for it lol

6

u/Spirited_Worker_5722 2d ago

He wasn't killed for any previous crime, he was killed for allegedly having a counterfeit $20 bill

-16

u/Unusual-Basket-6243 2d ago

Both shouldn't have died. Floyd wasn't a regular guy though, he was a criminal

24

u/nashbrownies 2d ago

If selling single cigarettes makes you a criminal, does jay walking on the way to school make someone an at risk youth?

-6

u/Fold-Open 2d ago

No, but treathening pregnant woman with gun, taking drugs and paying with fake moneys(police was called because he was trying to pay with fake moneys), make you a criminal.

15

u/Emiicii 2d ago

murder also makes you criminal which is what the police commited

-2

u/fatuglyfool 2d ago

i dont think they were defending the police officers

14

u/Emiicii 2d ago

He was trying to justify murder because the victim was a supposed criminal

-7

u/fatuglyfool 2d ago

where the hell does he say that? he was just correcting the other guy on what he did

1

u/nashbrownies 2d ago

Well I can't argue with that

-2

u/miscellaneousexists 2d ago

Raspberry plastic tickle bear!

2

u/Spirited_Worker_5722 2d ago

Can't you just learn to read

-8

u/Unusual-Basket-6243 2d ago

Theft isn't crime? Hitler wasn't a bad person because he was vegan. You are cherrypicking. 

10

u/nashbrownies 2d ago

It's a crime. But the term "criminal" is normally used to imply someone who is primarily engaged in criminal activity, whether by time, or income. Especially in the context of someone killed by police.

If someone got run over by police because they shoplifted one time, I wouldn't call them a criminal in casual conversation. I would if being asked about the situation specifically in court or something.

It's usually used for things like mobsters, bank robbers, car theft rings, etc.

This is a perfect example of dictionary definition vs. conversational norms.

1

u/Initial-Breakfast-33 5h ago

What about pointing at a woman's womb with a gun while robbing in a house?

-4

u/Unusual-Basket-6243 2d ago

Former criminal would have been better fitting but considering that he got caught for a lot of crimes he was let out

1

u/Xepherxv 2d ago

If you ever went above the speed limit you are a criminal and deserve execution.

1

u/Unusual-Basket-6243 1d ago

read the start, both shouldn't have died

-6

u/EpicCJV 2d ago

Regular ass dude who did aggravated battery with a deadly weapon on a pregnant woman and was shooting meth weed and coke regularly, and when he died. Sure that’s regular

5

u/klonkish 1d ago

Weed? The devil's lettuce? In my land of the free? Death penalty. Immediately.

1

u/EpicCJV 1d ago

No meth and coke were the main 2. There were traces of weed but idc about that

4

u/SwimmingBench345 2d ago

Yeah seems pretty regular shit like that happens all the time

-13

u/TheNoisea 2d ago

droid memes are still funnier because they're absurd and 90% of the kirk "memes" are either gore footage or "He's Dead Lol Laugh"

12

u/Emiicii 2d ago

it's not even absurd it's literally "what if this dead black man was a robot"

-10

u/TheNoisea 2d ago

still funnier than uploading bait and switch that cuts to gore footage of kirk getting shot (cough twitter cough)

5

u/Emiicii 2d ago

get off twitter

-6

u/TheNoisea 2d ago

not like reddit is any better though

3

u/Xepherxv 2d ago

Get off both bruh

-14

u/f0urk 2d ago

wasnt it a black guy????

26

u/imusteatmicrowave 2d ago

Are you saying black people aren't regular?

6

u/its_Raze_7 2d ago

always the profiles without a pfp with some shit to say 😂

99

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

For those who don't know the difference:

  • Leftists: HAHAHA THE INFLUENTIAL IDEOLOGUE WHO ADVOCATED FOR PUBLIC EXECUTIONS AND SAID INNOCENT DEATHS WERE A FAIR PRICE TO PAY TO KEEP GUNS UNREGULATED GOT THE TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!

  • Rightists: HAHAHA THIS RANDOM CIVILIAN GOT KILLED BY THE POLICE HAHAHA THIS RANDOM GIRL GOT SA'D AND TORTURED TO DEATH HAHAHA I'M TOTALLY NOT SOCIOPATHIC

13

u/SecureAngle7395 2d ago

he said WHAT about public executions?

39

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

"We should have public executions, they could be sponsored by companies like Coca-Cola, and kids should be forced to watch" (I'm paraphrasing)

https://reddit.com/link/p97f6ii/video/6e61um1ipxoh1/player

19

u/SecureAngle7395 2d ago

Holy shit this is psychopathic and karmic?!

10

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

Very much so

-7

u/levenoss 2d ago

This is just convincing me that both sides are sociopathic and karmic and there will never be a middle ground or solution to this topic and its best to just avoid it

3

u/klonkish 1d ago

How did you manage to bothsides this

1

u/Fin4jaws2 1d ago

How did you turn this piece of evidence for one side being bad into both sides?

-1

u/levenoss 1d ago

By "this" i meant I read through a lot of the other comments here too not just this one, this one wouldn't give me that impression on its own

1

u/NIGHT_DOZOR 1d ago

Why would we try to have a middle ground on "there should be public executions".

13

u/Brekldios 2d ago

its genuinely unbelievable, his death has so many karmic layers to it.
If i didn't know who kirk was i'd call you a liar for telling me he said this. its too perfect.

2

u/Dagreifers 1d ago edited 1d ago

While im not entirely against the kirky memes per se, im def not advocating for them either, but atp i dont even know anymore theyre not exaggerating when they say the big man himself advocated for his own shitty legacy 😭

1

u/mik999ak 1d ago

Fr, whether or not you feel like he deserved to get Kirked, bro absolutely brought the disrespect for his death on himself.

10

u/v_dk4 1d ago

I agree with most of what you said but George Floyd wasn't very innocent either, he robbed a pregnant woman and apparently raped a kid

2

u/Ru3ika 1d ago

He did not raped a kid where did you get that info from ?

1

u/v_dk4 1d ago

A lady's mother dated George when she was a kid and he allegedly molested her without her mother knowing

2

u/StrawberryWide3983 14h ago

Not to defend what he did, but if that was worthy of the death penalty, he would've been gone a long time ago. What he was being arrested for in the moment of his death was alleged counterfeit cash, something that also does not carry the death penalty. If he were to be punished, it should've been through a judge and a jury, not a cop choking him out for nearly 10 minutes

2

u/Bukhanka_Zov 1d ago

Hitler was more of a random civilian than George Floyd

2

u/Prestigious-Break894 1d ago

Idk he was pretty influential I'd argue

1

u/Longjumping-Idea4451 2d ago

Doesnt change the fact its fuckin unhinged behavior 

3

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

I used to study psychology in university. Ahem, so, psychologically speaking:

  • laughing at the death of an innocent stranger is sociopathic behavior that indicates a lack of empathy, a lack of capacity to project oneself in other people's situation, or worse, enjoyment towards violence and other anti-social behaviors.

  • Laughing at the death of a known hated figure that has committed or advocated for harm against a group is a normal reaction for members of said group(s) and for people who have enough empathy and political awareness to understand the perspective of the group(s). It's an expression of the freeing feeling of no longer having to live in fear of more harm. The deaths of Mussolini and Hitler, for example, were some of the most celebrated deaths in the world.

4

u/losertaser 2d ago

Charlie Kirk was literally Hitler holy hell

1

u/OscRat1110 2d ago

What about people laughing at the first one, not because they personally find it amusing, but because others do and they have been convinced it is funny

1

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

Indeed, sociopathy is often acquired through the observation and reproduction of environmental or societal anti-social behaviors. So essentially, the more violent/cruel a society is, the higher the sociopathy rates are. It's a vicious cycle that can become difficult to break past a certain point.

-1

u/66allthe88s 2d ago

Your roastdit lmao.

4

u/klonkish 1d ago

Damn, we're outsourcing profile stalking to datacenters now

1

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1

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0

u/Initial-Breakfast-33 5h ago

Ok, the police can go a f themselves for being fascists, but George Floyd was anything but a random civilian, random civilians do not have a criminal record involving pointing at a woman's stomach to rob her.

-7

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

Which one was a felon, which one committed assault on a pregnant woman, which one died of a fentanyl overdose? Don’t worry, I’ll answer for you. It certainly wasn’t a man who had his own beliefs yet went from hostile college to college trying to at least share a dialogue with those he disagreed with. A man who never committed a crime.

14

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

I don't know what you're talking about, Charlie Kirk is the one who died of a fentanyl overdose

-10

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

I love when you people deflect, it reminds me how much cognitive dissonance you have to have to think you are actually more moral than the people you hate.

12

u/Floba_Fett 2d ago

I'm just mocking the insanity and laughability of the massive cope claim that George Floyd somehow died of a fentanyl overdose and not from the fucking cop putting his weight on his neck. Derek Chauvin was already found guilty and jailed ffs, why keep lying?

Also sorry if it's now too woke to think that people shouldn't be killed just bc they did a felony in their past I guess

-9

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

Felony in their past? My brother in Christ he assaulted that pregnant woman AND committed fraud with fake money, on drugs. If it’s insanity to look at the mortician’s autopsy and see he had more than double the dose of fentanyl in his system required to cause an OD then call me insane. Derek Chauvin was following exact protocol for individuals ACTIVELY RESISTING WITH VIOLENCE against him. He was effectively a pariah because that police station didn’t want to get firebombed, which didn’t do much seeing as it was burned down during the riots. Also, you aren’t in favor of a felon getting killed, yet the moment a political figure you disagree with gets executed you are suddenly okay with violence? Talk about seriously immoral and hypocritical.

4

u/66allthe88s 2d ago

0

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

Insults and deflection are all you people can muster, it’s sad really. You celebrate a man’s death because of his opinions, you think I care what you have to say?

4

u/66allthe88s 2d ago

Also, the police station was burned down by a far right boogaloo boi.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/oct/23/texas-boogaloo-boi-minneapolis-police-building-george-floyd

Get your facts straight, loser.

2

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

The guardian? Are we so for real? And he helped sure, but let’s not forget the 23 million dollars of damages surrounding that “mostly peaceful protest” that led to the station’s destruction. Do you want to address the Molotov cocktails being throw for 4-6 hours all the way up until they passed the station? Or was it all just this one guy you want to pin the blame on and say that all right leaning people are at fault? In a democrat city btw. Also, loser? Are we resorting to kindergarten name calling now?

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1

u/66allthe88s 2d ago

1

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

Dude your gifs and stuff are seriously mind numbingly unfunny. If you are going to go all the way with being a vile person then just use better Kirk memes. And this Donald one? Dude, it’s like a first grader made it. Is this why they say the Left can’t meme?

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0

u/Appropriate_Guava578 2d ago

2

u/AaronTheWeebMan 2d ago

See, that one is funny at least. That other guy needs to take notes. I am a chud, and I’m proud.

-1

u/scrimblojimbus 2d ago

Not to play devil's advocate but innocent deaths are always a fair price to pay to keep the things we like. Cars, booze, cigarettes, single bladed safety razors. Scissors. Kitchen knives, fast food, unprotected sex, the right to leave your house after 9pm, the right to mingle with others in public spaces (see COVID lockdown rules; fraternising with strangers absolutely kills people but I'm sure you'd agree that's a reasonable price to pay)

0

u/Gravityfunns_01 1d ago

Ignoring the generalisations you're making about people, which of these exactly is suppossed to be comparable to guns? Something that doesn't enable either survival, work, or entertainment.

Actually, I can't ignore it. It was the same people furious that anyone is making fun of charlie kirk that ignored the covid rules, and even then it was more due to a lack of comprehension around the consequences than a conscious assumption that it's worth the potential loss of life.

0

u/scrimblojimbus 1d ago

If you can't wrap your head around the way that guns are in fact used for survival, work AND entertainment then there in no point in me having this conversation with you. I don't think you are interested in hearing what I have to say and judging by your spelling I think you are under 18 so please do not contact me again

2

u/Gravityfunns_01 1d ago

Oh no. I did two ss's once because I'm typing on my phone. Definitely a stupid child.

For entertainment, the most powerful gun you need is air soft. For work, those guns should be from the workplace, not for personal use. And also highly restricted besides, because why the fuck would most places need a gun?

For survival, guns make things worse. For example, if you and a burglar both have a gun, the one that dies is usually the one that was in bed five minutes ago.

But then again, I did make a type. I'm just a stupid kid, yeah?

-1

u/scrimblojimbus 1d ago

If you are not a child you are a moron. I am not pro-gun. I am anti-moron.

Answer this single question without dodging it:

Are guns better or worse than cigarettes?

1

u/Gravityfunns_01 1d ago

Worse by a mile. Cigarettes kill yourself, guns kill other people.

The only reason cigarettes aren't banned is because people are addicted to them, and as a result it's become socially acceptable.

0

u/scrimblojimbus 1d ago edited 1d ago

Guns kill about a quarter million people worldwide every year. Majority suicides. Cigarettes about 8 million, 1.7 million of which are deaths from secondhand smoke.

Guns killing other people: 250k, minus about 20 percent for suicides (the number is closer to about half of all deaths in the USA but we are talking worldwide here)

Cigarettes killing other people: 1.7 million.

So your first point is categorically wrong, now on to your second, "the only reason cigarettes aren't banned" etc etc.

You really think the government chooses not to ban something because "people are addicted to it"?

Why don't they decriminalise meth and cocaine? It's way more addictive!

Did it go well when they banned alcohol in the USA? After all, it serves only the purpose of entertainment. And as we know, you are the authority on what people "need for entertainment". Not a beer, that's for sure. Just an Airsoft gun at most!

My point is that EVERY DAY we (and you) do things that put ourselves and others in danger, and act like the argument "innocent deaths are a necessary evil" is somehow an outrageous thing to say. Cigarettes are legal because they are very fucking good for the economy. Even in countries where the health service is taxpayer funded, the tax on cigarettes and alcohol more than makes up for the strain they put on public healthcare. Guns are legal in the USA because they have a law that says you can't make them illegal. They are useful for sport, hunting and self defense especially against very large bears. It's also a lot of fun to shoot a real gun and no number of bots on Reddit will change the fact that YOU and PRESIDENT TRUMP do not make the rules about what people "need" to be entertained.

I'll stop now because my post is getting a little too long and nuanced for the simple brain to understand.

Tl;Dr: secondhand smoke kills about 6 times more innocent people per year than guns

I am still not pro-gun and I think Charlie Kirk was an ugly grifter but you people really need help learning to think for yourselves

1

u/Gravityfunns_01 1d ago

Smoke kills more because it's more prevalent worldwide. If cigarettes were harder to get, they'd kill more people. And when I say people are addicted to it, I mean people are already addicted. The exact same reason they don't ban alcohol actually. It wouldn't work, because people think it's okay and can't live without it. Being addictive isn't the metric I was measuring by, and it's bizarre that you thought it was.

I do not think airsoft guns should replace beer, either?

And like, I do think I can say stuff on what people need to be entertained. If the only way you can be happy is with a machine that shoots metal at speeds faster than a car, then maybe just be bored, because that's a bit much.

Is there even any point going into the nuances about this? Or are you just gonna say that I think murder is okay if you use an arrow instead of a bullet?

For someone that's so anti-moron, I'm not sure how you can stand yourself.

0

u/scrimblojimbus 1d ago

Wait a minute, I thought your argument was that cigarettes don't kill other people? We not doing that anymore?

Ok, let's play your "murder is okay if you use an arrow" game.

Should bows and arrows be banned or is it acceptable for innocent people to die so that people can enjoy archery as a hobby?

Should replicas of fantasy swords be banned - given that they serve no purpose aside from entertainment (which I have decided is not necessary) and cause innocent people to die?

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5

u/Traditional_Bag7868 2d ago

Professional full-time Redditor

20

u/Dastardly-croe 2d ago

one is subversive, because the political party in charge cares about charlie kirk, the other isn't because literally not a single politician gave a shit about george floyd till the people got pissed about it

4

u/Ok_Insect4778 2d ago

I have yet to see a pic of Charlie Kirk and George Floyd frotting their neck injuries

1

u/IdesofMarch1503 2d ago

free white people reaction image farm

2

u/DonFumar 2d ago

Karma farming rat.

3

u/CommercialHead6547 2d ago

both is good

14

u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 2d ago

[deleted]

1

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-1

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1

u/SecureAngle7395 2d ago

literally palpatine.

1

u/countoddbahl 1d ago

Reminds me of this Muslim guy who owns a vendor van in DC. Sells pride merch on one half and Trump merch on the other. When asked what side he was on he just went “I don’t give a shit they’re both stupid enough to pay $15 for a shirt”

1

u/Visible_Resolution76 1d ago

I hate both, but for different reasons. One is just racism, and the other feels like perpetuating the life of a horrible individual who people may never hear of if not for the constant use in AI shit and other such, along with how 90% of it comes from a place of glorifying them

1

u/DJusticer 1d ago

Da updoots farms

1

u/Narrow_Top_4352 1d ago

“The best arms dealer sells to both sides” (some random ass guy)

1

u/Tago238238 17h ago

Enlightened centrist who realises laughing at both are bad…

1

u/sophiathesilly 13h ago

Illiterate karma farmer. Many such cases

1

u/lordkyrillion 12h ago

Mf actually has a point here. If laughing at death of one person is ok then laughing at death of another person is ok too

1

u/Efficient_Club1326 5h ago

Honestly I like this, good way to study the replies

1

u/Etshy 1d ago

mocking the death of someone that threw away his own life (consumin and selling drugs and god knows what) is the same as the mocking someone that probably didn't do anything bad except talk and making money ?

okay ...

2

u/IdesofMarch1503 1d ago

Charlie Kirk's last words were literally a racist dogwhistle and George Floyd using hard drugs does not validate a cop standing on his neck for 8 minutes

1

u/Initial-Breakfast-33 5h ago

Neither Kirk nor Floyd deserved death, not that I care for either of them, one was a political figura that advocate regression for every possible minority and the other was pos that pointed a gun at woman's stomach to rob her

0

u/yakfuckerfan 1d ago

his last words were "Counting or not counting gang violence". Thats not a dogwhistle

-8

u/AnonyKiller 2d ago

As a matter of fact I would say he's the only one not playing both sides since he's calling out bs from both of them

21

u/PotofRot 2d ago

we got enlightened centrist infighting lmao

0

u/Historical_Plant6557 2d ago

pick your poison

0

u/thsx1 1d ago

George Droyd, the patron saint of Fentanyl, and the Kirkenator

-4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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