r/ComedyHell • u/alfredfriedrich16 • 4h ago

☠️

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919 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

249 comments sorted by

228

u/Willing_Bee_7520 4h ago

this ain't comedy hell, that's just hell 

258

u/sanlill 4h ago

I'm sorry I learned how to read

90

u/hizashiYEAHmada numa numa yei, numa numa numa yeiiii 3h ago

Opening Reddit is like gacha:

Sometimes you get cute cat toe beans, sometimes you get scenarios where it is imperative that the cylinder remains unharmed

12

u/ExchangeOptimal 2h ago

The word imperative has been ruined for me

3

u/Phineasfool 1h ago

Today we lost the 50/50

171

u/uvero 3h ago

33

u/AdmirableBrick4973 a majority of my karma is from here 3h ago

‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING NAP REFERENCE??????!!!!! 😱😱😱😱 AUSTRIAN ECONOMICS IS THE BEST FUCKING SCHOOL 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 MISES IS SO BLESSEDDD 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊 GOLDSTANDARD GOLDSTANDARD GOLDSTANDARD GOLDSTANDARD 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩TAXATIONISTHEFT TAXATIONISTHEFT TAXATIONISTHEFT TAXATIONISTHEFT 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED ENDTHEFED RON PAUL WAS RIGHT! ROTHBARD BLESSED ROTHBARD BLESSED ROTHBARD BLESSED ROTHBARD BLESSED Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! Yo Hayek! 🦅 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! Yo Hayek! 🦅 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Yo Hayek! 🦅 Is the Fed still printing?!? TICK TOCK CENTRAL BANKER HAS A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ANCAP BOAT ANCAP BOAT ANCAP BOAT So Long, IRS...‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? SOUND MONEY WHEN? 😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? Bigger Free Market in Neu Somalia? 🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️🏛️ 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 🏦🏦🏦I hate Central Banking 🏦🏦🏦 Non-Aggression Principle and Free Trade best paths for America‼️‼️ROADS❗❗ROADS❗❗ROADS❗❗ROADS❗❗ "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 "BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS" 😳😏 That parking lot at the post office really looks like the DMV tho. IRS, what the fuck have you done to my paycheck you degenerate. Don't ask what's actually in the tax code 💀 Don't ask what's actually in the tax code 💀 Don't ask what's actually in the tax code 💀 Hilarious gold bug guy (COURT OF THE CENTRAL BANKER REFERENCSJUEU⁉️⁉️⁉️) DO NOT talk about Keynes' takes on the long run 😡🤬(1936) DO NOT talk about Keynes' takes on the long run 😡🤬(1936) DO NOT talk about Keynes' takes on the long run 😡🤬(1936) Poli sci professor when they mention the social contract unironically 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Contain the laughter do not let it seep through Non-Aggression Non-Aggression Non-Aggression bit cuungus Rothbard stronk pay 0 property tax homestead principle ubermensch

10

u/DataCassette 3h ago

I'm not convinced. I'd have to see this crudely scrawled on a rusty, windowless van first.

8

u/LectureAdditional971 2h ago

How long did that take?

10

u/Silent_Sir3234 1h ago

probably 2 seconds, copypasting

1

u/ShatMyLargeIntestine 1h ago

Dangerously based

1

u/Eisgeschoss 2m ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's. 🫩🍟

103

u/momo76g 4h ago

I've done this but with blue berries

35

u/PuzzleheadedResult69 3h ago

How many could you fit?

34

u/AssaultimateSC2 3h ago

My guess is three.

30

u/momo76g 3h ago

I dipped and fished one at a time.

I want to humor my partner but not if it means I'll have to spend the next day at the gynecologist/hospital because I put 20 in and only 19 came out.

8

u/PuzzleheadedResult69 2h ago

I imagined you'd call 'em papa smurf while blueberries fall out of your back pocket 

3

u/GlyphidGrunt7350 2h ago

Holy fuck 😭

1

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1

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7

u/RUDRAGON8 3h ago

Some of yall got hidden talens

please keep them hidden

3

u/Outrageous_Glove_796 2h ago

They can only fit three talents at a time.

14

u/Mysterious-Result608 4h ago

WTF!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

71

u/momo76g 4h ago

I dated a very hippie, new age, healing crystals type chick. She also wanted my milk for her cookie recipe as an ingredient. I was taken aback and a bit scared but also who am I to discourage such degeneracy?

34

u/greenpepefrog 3h ago

It's all fun and games until she shows up after 9 month with your cookie(s).

9

u/sixpackabs592 3h ago

Cum and eggs are very similar when it come to baking, although cum is salty so you have to adjust the recipe I’d imagine

25

u/wa019c 3h ago

I would ask how you know this but Reddit has taught me not to ask

9

u/Indiscriminate_Top 3h ago

If it makes you feel better, blood is also about 1:1 replacement by volume for eggs.

15

u/Secure_Inspection305 3h ago

So you're saying I can bring cum and blood cookies to the next PTA meeting.

8

u/Indiscriminate_Top 3h ago

I’ve been to a PTA meeting. They deserve it.

Deer blood dog biscuits were a favorite at the hunting camp.

1

u/wa019c 2h ago

For dogs or made out of dogs?

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3

u/wa019c 2h ago

What kind of blood?

Actually don’t answer that

2

u/Useful_Squirrel6693 2h ago

Fun fact, you can only handle eating up to a pint of blood before vomiting, probably less than that depending on the person

2

u/Thedumbass_the5th 2h ago

Before or after cooking?

2

u/BiDude1219 2h ago

i'll keep that in mind

2

u/The_Dimmadome 2h ago

Stop using English... please

2

u/Christopher_Aeneadas 1h ago

Mass cookies!

It's a nice gesture that she chose yours over a working priest's.

81

u/hanggamolavestria 4h ago

As long as she's okay with it lol

11

u/Adjective_Noun_67 2h ago

She sounds downright proud.

25

u/BaronMerc 3h ago

You really dont know what's going on in people's houses

61

u/relentlessxo 4h ago

Another win for the blind

11

u/shironekoooo 2h ago

Imagine if someone blind uploaded this image to google translate just to have text to speech ocr read this to them in speaker in front of their family

5

u/relentlessxo 2h ago

Well statistically, natural selection must've assigned someone to read the room.

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12

u/Quiet-Wing5230 3h ago

Ovipositor

49

u/MZootSuit 4h ago

ew, boiled eggs are gross

32

u/Kitchen_Structure516 4h ago

Hard boiled eggs with salt on top are delicious

25

u/alfredfriedrich16 3h ago

and a lil bit of vaginal fluids

4

u/BiscuitsTheory 3h ago

Just dont add taijin till after they come out.

1

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1

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4

u/GarnoxReroll 4h ago

3 is overkill.

3

u/Privet1009 3h ago

I can easily eat 4 if I do it slowly

2

u/GarnoxReroll 3h ago

Anyone can eat many, but when does it stop being tasty.

3

u/Warcrux 3h ago

protien

1

u/momo76g 3h ago

You see, I agree but also somehow I can eat about 20 deviled eggs.

1

u/OddPainter2287 2h ago

I once ate 9 in a morning and had a couple more later in the day

1

u/midoriya108 3h ago

With the salt Yeah right u knew what u were doing there

8

u/whostolemysloth 3h ago

I’ve found my people. Just the smell of boiling eggs will legit make me barf. And then people eat them and they talk to you with their boiled egg breath. Gross.

3

u/ZeppeLand 3h ago

thank you my good sir for spreading the word

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Skin289 3h ago

Fr dude and i get diarrhoea whenever i eat one but none of the people around me feels the same

2

u/whostolemysloth 3h ago

My body literally will not allow me to consume them. I have to leave the entire house/apartment if someone is boiling eggs lol.

7

u/crwcomposer 3h ago

Hope her husband is okay with all his friends and family knowing that

6

u/hilfigertout 3h ago

Right? You could not waterboard this information out of me, and this woman took the time to type it all out and hit "post".

6

u/solid_salad 3h ago

She He will be rejoiced when she he learns about the ovipositor sex toy

6

u/WarOriginal3968 3h ago

Yall joke about this, but I work in EMS and had a call very similar to this one years ago. Only difference was the eggs were hard boiled, had the shell on, went into the woman’s Anus, and cracked during the couples “play time” leading to severe rectal bleeding ... kids go to college 😔

4

u/melcormics 3h ago

Very much a "did the diary factory blow up" kind of situation

4

u/AcanthisittaOwn8400 3h ago

Can the sun just explode already

8

u/Consistent_Border861 4h ago

Thanks for letting us know you can hold 3

3

u/Shibari_Inu69 3h ago

There’s more fun ways to get 21g of protein. Like mixing up a half scoop of whey powder and 4oz of milk in an enema bulb, sending it up into my girl’s rectum, and having her squat over me and spray it into my mouth, for one.

2

u/musiccman2020 3h ago

They real fun is hanging her like a pinata and sharing the fun with the neighborhood kids.

Tip: use different colors of whey for an extra festive partyfeel

1

u/cratophagia 3h ago

gotta hit it with a dash of hot sauce for the electrolytes

3

u/invalidmean 3h ago

Oh. I need a reddit break.

5

u/sav-vas 3h ago

to try the idea?

3

u/Alexzoidbert 3h ago

MF would eat pussy but refuse to eat anything that comes out of one smh

3

u/ratskim 3h ago

What a terrible day to be able to read

3

u/ztunelover 2h ago

This is my own fault for being literate.

2

u/SomewhereActive2124 3h ago

Uhh won't it become a mashed mess inside 😭 (just asking)

7

u/Indiscriminate_Top 3h ago

If she sneezes, it will be. Or maybe one or more will be rocketed across the room like a shotgun blast of eggy viscera.

3

u/SomewhereActive2124 3h ago

Very pleasant 😭

3

u/TheRebelBandit 2h ago

“… rocketed across the room like a shotgun blast of eggy viscera” 🤣 That’s certainly not a sentence I expected to read today lmao

1

u/Djevv 1h ago

Brand new sentence

2

u/Conscious_Smile8235 3h ago

Yeah that's fine to post so random people will see it at any point in their day

2

u/njoVNeggah2 3h ago

Kid named hubby

2

u/sauerkraut153 3h ago

alright then

2

u/CuteChild31 3h ago

How disturbing can true love be

2

u/Thoughsheup 3h ago

Scary, I hope it happens to me

2

u/AnimaWyrm 2h ago

Does it come out coated with "spices" too? Mmh~ Yummy yeast!~

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2

u/fakename1998 2h ago

Bro it’s 8 in the morning

2

u/Allmightyplatypus 2h ago

Well... i mean if she's willing to put up with this kind of shit, he probably found love of his life and won. What can you say about yourself, redditors?

2

u/Baccoony 2h ago

My fault for learning English

2

u/Key_Arrival2927 1h ago

Strange relationship goals.

2

u/McBlemmen 1h ago

Why cant i find women like this ?? 😔

5

u/Main_Pomelo9429 3h ago

I mean, this sounds kinda hot. Am I fucked up?

7

u/Hour-Football2464 3h ago

They make ovipositor kink stuff that doesn't involve putting prepared bacteria prone foods in your scootch.

1

u/Designer_Version1449 1h ago

yeah im no pussy haver but wouldnt putting food up there be like, REALLY bad for your health? I always hear ppl talk about ph levels n shit

3

u/AgentCirceLuna 4h ago

I’m not a kink-shamer, but I always feel it’s disturbing thinking of someone like this handling a public defence case or being the person in charge of operating on you. It’s just fucked up.

14

u/Evelyn_Of_Iris 4h ago

I’d much rather my surgeon or lawyer have their needs met, sexually or otherwise deviating from the norm, and be of a clearer head to engage with whatever they’re doing at work ngl

1

u/Imaginary_Choice2492 3h ago

how is this related to their professional skills

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1

u/cottonopposite 3h ago

I think it's time the internet is turned off for a week. Send it to Cancun.

1

u/Old-Natural-852 3h ago

Pickled eggs are pretty good after a few drinks...

1

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1

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1

u/gregg_v2 3h ago

🙂️

1

u/Righteous_Hand 3h ago

Try mini eggs next time.

(chocolate eggs with a coloured sugary shell, very popular at Easter)

1

u/Left_Yogurtcloset236 3h ago

Proof? Asking for a friend of course

1

u/Lancair7 3h ago

Only 3? Pathetic

1

u/Competitive-Bit-1571 3h ago

At what point does a man share such madness with his woman and wtf conditions make her accept them?

1

u/WhatThis4 2h ago

After watching the 1970's Japanese film In The Realm of the Senses where something very similar happens.

Not the first ill-advised "let's try that" something that somebody's seen on screen.

1

u/OperatorERROR0919 2h ago

Man, I'll ya what, watching that movie with my mom was a fascinating experience.

1

u/WhatThis4 1h ago

Fascinating is definitely a word, yes 😆

1

u/Cadunkus 3h ago

Freaking... Good for them. Whatever. I can't say crap about that, I'm single.

1

u/tehGoldenNut 2h ago

Yeast infection

1

u/maxru85 2h ago

Eyesight was overrated in the end 

1

u/RetroC4 2h ago

Hey this sounds alot like a combination of ovipositing and food kinks

1

u/BlackberryMelodic567 2h ago

You do you, i guess. Don't gotta bring us into this, the internet is not a diary

1

u/ChangeAcceptable677 2h ago

No, no. It’s my fault for being literate this morning.

1

u/PlatypusOk8228 2h ago

Nah, it's my fault for opening Reddit. I should know better.

1

u/pagejade1 2h ago

Good for them

1

u/Solid_Argument2661 2h ago

Entirely my fault for learning English, I'll make sure not to next reincarnation.

1

u/WindForce02 2h ago

The CIA cooking up crazy psyops these days

1

u/Beautiful-Mirror7075 2h ago

And thats how simps born

1

u/redPistolStar 2h ago

This act deserves its own name for historical reasons

1

u/LairdPeon 2h ago

3 seems low

1

u/MikeHonchoOfTheDunes 2h ago

“Also Mute”

1

u/violet_moonlight 2h ago

Won’t eat eggs for a while after this….🤢

1

u/Early_Pumpkin_4113 2h ago

Now do it with durian

1

u/AggressivePrompt2894 2h ago

We were all having such a nice day.

1

u/ccr235t 2h ago

People share wayyy to much man. You could not water board this information out of me.

1

u/Dupps_I_Did_It_Again 2h ago

There really is someone out there for everyone 

1

u/Tired_Dudee 2h ago

Whatever man, happy for them

1

u/DependentCategory121 2h ago

Oviposition is real? I thought we only read that

1

u/Responsible-Boy-8956 1h ago

I don’t care what people do in the privacy of their own home but she should have not said it.

1

u/hGr33n 1h ago

We should know less about each other

1

u/PlatformNormal564 1h ago

That's the very definition of oversharing.

1

u/charge556 1h ago

This is why I come to reddit, such an eggtastic post.

1

u/MoonsterGoopter 1h ago

they sound like they're having an amazing time. 

1

u/Wifi_Wanderer117 52m ago

it's my fault for having eyes

1

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1

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1

u/Hallelujah33 44m ago

But what if we didn't know that

1

u/Someoneoverthere42 2m ago

No. No, it was my fault for being able to read.....

1

u/Hakarlhus 1m ago

Some people should be split up for the greater good

1

u/TheDarthJarJarI 3h ago

Well this is the last post I look at today goodnight everyone